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wblastyn
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16 Feb 2011, 9:04 pm

So someone from my old school sent me a Facebook message apologising for being a jerk to me. Now I was bullied by a lot of people in school, but this person wasn't really that bad compared to some.

The fact he mentioned it brought back memories of being bullied, and I ended up blabbing that I was bullied so much that I ended up getting treated for depression/anxiety for 2+ years. I also told him I was diagnosed with AS.

Not sure why I told him, but do you think it's weird/inappropriate to tell someone all that? :/



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16 Feb 2011, 9:14 pm

Not at all. If you planted one seed of true regret in your friend, maybe he'll take it and plant it in the minds of his children or friends, and they might be a little more tolerant of someone who's a little 'different'.

It's a shame that most folks don't fully understand the consequences of their actions until it's too late.



simon_says
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16 Feb 2011, 9:14 pm

Well, it probably just triggered some memories and you wanted to talk about it. Nothing wrong with that. But I can understand feeling that you've said too much. I frequently get that if I open up. Which is why in real life getting details out me requires a crowbar.

I was in college and I ran into someone I knew from middle-school in the library. The second thing out of his mouth was, "kids can be cruel". Stunned me. Previously I'd thought maybe it hadnt been that bad, maybe I was exaggerating certain events.. But his comment brought it all back for a moment and I thought, "s***, it was bad enough for him to remember".

But I let the subject drop with a "yeah, guess so".



CockneyRebel
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16 Feb 2011, 11:04 pm

You didn't say too much at all. I think that you said the right thing and your ex bully will be able to teach the people in his life to be more tolerant and accepting.


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lostonearth35
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16 Feb 2011, 11:18 pm

O what I would give to tell that to any of the bullies who made my life at school UTTER HELL AN THEN I'D SAY YOUR APOLOGY IS NOT ACCEPTED YOU PRACTICALLY RUINED MY LIFE AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
But where are they now? I have no idea. Hopefully prison, but I doubt it, they're probably happy and successful with real jobs, while all my hopes and dreams have been CRUSHED and left me an angry, sad and bitter human being. :x Oh well have a nice day. :D



Yensid
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16 Feb 2011, 11:49 pm

The same situation came up for me. I just forgave him and forgot about him. I didn't tell him anything more.

I was tempted to say more, but I feel that its more productive for me to move beyond that.


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jackbus01
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17 Feb 2011, 9:20 am

No and I don't think the other person would find it too weird either. It was obviously a difficult time in your life.



Janissy
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17 Feb 2011, 11:06 am

I don't think it was too much. He opened a dialogue when he apologized.

A similar thing happened on the facebook page of my middle school (we are all now middle aged). Somebody made a public apology to everybody he had bullied at that time. This opened up a dialogue between him, the people who had been bullied and everybody else. It ended up being very healing all around, I think.

I think that what happened between the two of you is one of the most positive uses of facebook.



temetvince
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17 Feb 2011, 11:24 am

I don't think it was too much. But people generally base talking too much on how much time it takes and/or how much was said. If you were as consice with him as you were with us, then that's fine. If you took out a 30 page monologue on your life and getting bullied, then yeh, that was too much.

Had I bullied someone in school, and finally felt bad enough to apologize to them, and they didn't say anything back to me, I'd feel really terrible. So it is appropriate to talk about it a little bit, but as you said, not too much.

However, the most important thing (in terms of being "socially acceptable") is that you remembered to say "it's okay", "I forgive you", or "Thank you for the apology. It really means a lot to me."



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17 Feb 2011, 9:30 pm

A went to a Catholic School. Many of the teachers were downright evil. They made fun of kids on a regular basis. As a result, kids made fun of other kids.

I would like to talk to the principal of my elementary school and tell her that making fun of kids is wrong. I would tell her I that physical and emotional abuse are part of the same problem. I would explain to her that she created an environment that promoted the bad behavior of priests such as Father Loveboy by verbally abusing kids.



Arminius
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17 Feb 2011, 11:45 pm

Maybe it was, but it is understandable.



League_Girl
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17 Feb 2011, 11:51 pm

It's cool one of your old bullies apologized. None of mine never had. I think telling them about AS is the best revenge ever. It might make them feel guilty. :wink:



Puppygnu
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18 Feb 2011, 12:48 am

Picking on a person with AS is the ultimate sign of weakness. It is similar to a 12th grader picking on a 1st grader. This type of behavior offends the general public.



League_Girl
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18 Feb 2011, 1:27 am

Puppygnu wrote:
Picking on a person with AS is the ultimate sign of weakness. It is similar to a 12th grader picking on a 1st grader. This type of behavior offends the general public.


But it seems like it's more acceptable to pick on people with hidden disabilities or else they wouldn't be shunned for it. But when they pick on people who have Down's syndrome or someone who is in a wheelchair or someone with any visible disabilities or when it's obvious they have a condition, they are shunned so that's why they get left alone usually.



Kiseki
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18 Feb 2011, 10:40 am

What did you do wrong?

This story is funny to me cuz I also was bullied in middle school. One of the chicks I went to school with- not a bully, but friends with my main enemy- had posted a school photo of everyone on her Facebook page. I went on there and trashtalked the school and said it was a living hell for me and F all those people and so on. Two of my other friends, fellow weirdos who were also bullied, followed behind me and posted the same. Haha!

The chick didn't seem to mind. It's really funny how the bullies either forget or just don't think it was a big deal at all. You know, what they did back then. My self-esteem suffered till college 'cuz of them.


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League_Girl
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18 Feb 2011, 2:50 pm

Kiseki wrote:
What did you do wrong?

This story is funny to me cuz I also was bullied in middle school. One of the chicks I went to school with- not a bully, but friends with my main enemy- had posted a school photo of everyone on her Facebook page. I went on there and trashtalked the school and said it was a living hell for me and F all those people and so on. Two of my other friends, fellow weirdos who were also bullied, followed behind me and posted the same. Haha!

The chick didn't seem to mind. It's really funny how the bullies either forget or just don't think it was a big deal at all. You know, what they did back then. My self-esteem suffered till college 'cuz of them.


Be careful what you post on there, the school can sue you for "slander" if they found out you talked bad about their school making it look bad :P