Moving on!

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Do you think i should move on from my friends?

here is a list of possible reasons why

have more stress in my life at the moment and my symptoms of AS are becoming more easier to detect by them and thus they are becoming less tolerant of me

Never really call or text me unless i chase them up and pursue them

one or two of my friends are blanking me out a bit and not being as friendly as they used to be

my friends have not really 'properly' enjoyed my company since 2008 ( along time ago)

year after year my connection with them is getting worse and worse

being cold to me when i hang out with them


I feel that since i have a lot to deal with my life at the moment that my friends not bothering with me as much anymore it is inevitable even if i do keep chasing them up that they will rprobably end up not wanting too associate with me anymore since i am becoming more ecentric to them. the last time i hanged out with them was slightly over 1 week ago and when i did hang out as per usual they were being cold not really including me that much in thier activities and conversations.

i last spoke to my friend on friday night but he said he was with his girlfriend and could not hang out with me. I texted him on saturday and he did not text me back at all. i tried to ring him up on his mobile but he had i turned off.

Do you think starting from now i should seveare all ties with them and move on?

Back in early 2009 i did not see my friends for almost 2 months becuause i did not contact them.

Last edited by Jamesy on 20 Feb 2011, 10:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Maybe you need better friends.

Yeah i agree. in thier minds though they probably think "James should be grateful for whatever icy friendship we have to offer to him"

my friens go way back to my school days since i have known them since 2001/2002. A long time.

I have friends that go back to 2002. I never made new friends. I had the same 6 friends since 2002, then 4 of them stopped being my friend because of my Asperger's nature. Now I have two friends. It's kind of sad sometimes when I think about it. I haven't made a new friend since 2002.

I used to have quite a good bond with my younger brothers friends as recently as 1 year ago but i don't hang out with them anymore becuase i have kinda had a falling out with some of them because of teasing, mockery and social stigma etc.....

You deserve better friends than the ones that you have now.

Yeah its not my fault. i guess 2 of my friends are letting there girlfriends ruin and run thier lives for them in the process..


there is defenintly a downward spiral in the qualit of my friendship compared to 2 years ago.

mind you though the last time i had the whole gang round my house was like 2-3 years ago

Well I think it is best you just leave them be, dont make a big scene of cutting off the friendships. Try going to some school clubs which has interests along the same stuff you like and meet new friends

Do you think its a waste of my time and theres holding out waiting for things to get better and improve?

yes. By what you described, they dont want anything to do with you and they are too cowardly to say anything about it.
You deserve friends who are not shallow like that.

Friendships are always changing and evolving... sometimes, people just move on. It sounds like that may be what's happening. I've found that 'lifelong friend' thing to be largely myth. Some people are lucky enough to make these kinds of connects but I wouldn't say it's the norm in my experience. I wouldn't waste my energy on people who didn't invest in the friendship.

Yes, you should.

Learning to move on is one of the hardest things for Aspies, but it's vital. Especially when it comes to girls.

(Or guys.)

Without having developed the ability to move on, I don't know if I'd still be alive.

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http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2474498/

You could try looking for new friends but I wouldn't get rid of your current ones. If you develop new friendships the old ones will fall away naturally, and if you don't end up developing new friendships you will find yourself lonely and isolated if you just dump everyone.

Yes,
It sounds to me like they are just trying to ignore you to avoid a confrontation, where they tell you are not interested in you.
You should probably take the initiative and just outright talk to them about it.

bee33 true but even if i stick with my current friends i think they will still ditch me sooner or later so i am going to end up alone.

but i agree though i think the best thing to do would be for me to talk with my friends and explain why i have not been myself recently in the last few years. i mean if there my friends they will understand? It speaks for itself though the fact that they have not already asked me why i have not been myself. i just don't think they care. instead of suppourting through this rocky patch of mine they have decided to ignore me instead All of my friends are aware i have aspergers.

last may i did blurt out by mistake "i just want to be socially accpeted by you guys".

I think it would be in my best interest to keep sticking with my friends if they decide to confront me and say "We don't to be friends with you anymore" then that is the way it is and i will have to accept it. besides its unfair on them to be forced to be my friend when they can't stand to be around me.