Exhibiting Violence in Drawings

Post Reply New Topic

My son, who is 8, hasn't got a mean bone in his whole body. He has never uttered a mean word about anyone, never hits anyone, and even thought he is not affectionate he is just the sweetest little boy in the world.

The other day he drew a very violent picture of a boy in his class who teases him constantly. In the picture he had cut off a part of the boys body and pee was spraying everywhere. He also drew a picture of himself looking at the boy and he had a mad face. I was very upset at first and told him how it wasn't nice to draw things like that (I was mostly upset because my 5 year old daughter was telling me about the picture in great detail and neither one of them seemed to think it was wrong). After thinking it over I explained that he wasn't in trouble and that I was just worried about what he must have been feeling when he drew it. He then went on to tell me about what this boy says to him along with what other kids are teasing him. They all tell him to shut up all the time, call him fat (he's not).

We had our appt with the autism specialist today and he seemed sort of happy that he drew this picture because he's getting his feelings out. I've told my son that it's ok to draw those pictures now, but only at home because he'd get in trouble at school if he did that. The specialist also said that he's sat in on my sons class a few times and sees obvious problems there. His teacher is only in her 2nd year of teaching and has no control in the class. He's going to bring it up at school Monday when he's there that my son needs to be watched better and to make sure the kids leave him alone. He also noticed how hard it was for my son to complete an assignment where he had to think about writing a story. He's a black and white type of thinker and has a hard time with using any imagination.

I know he's right about him getting his feelings out in his drawings, but I have to admit I was very disturbed at the image he drew. I'm just concerned that one day he might act on his feelings and really hurt someone. Columbine is the first thing that popped into my mind after seeing it. Have any of you had these feelings? Have you ever acted on them? If not, what kept you from doing anything? I would appreciate any of your thoughts on this. (Please, though, don't beat me up about yelling at him at first because I still feel really bad about it and had a nice talk about it with him).

I think the key is talking to him like you did, and not making him feel guilty or like some kind of freak about it like my parents did when they saw my drawings (similar stuff, I was getting out all my hurt and frustration in them and they were pretty violent).

I think if my parents had listened and talked with me and understood the drawings and maybe even ended up laughing about it (how silly they were, in a way...) I would never have had that meltdown at school and attacked that bully physically - I tried to stab him with a pen... (no one seriously hurt thankfully).

This is just my opinion, based on my own experiences, of course. It's speculation, really.

Violence is exhibited in drawings in so many places in so many different ways.

I know this because when I was ill (of the mental kind), I went though a great anger phase and started downloading violent comics. Now I don't mean comics that you can get from a shop in London. I mean stuff that you cannot find in print because its probably illegal. I've wiped them off my computer, but I can tell you, if I didn't take my anger out on looking at those things, I don't know what I would have done.

i often feel like i need to punch something when people make fun of me at school, i never do, but once, at lunch, when one kid called me gay, and a few other words that i would prefer not to mention (the best thing to say about it is that they should not be part of a 12 and three fourths year olds vocabulary) i went to tell the teacher that this kid called me gay and he dropped the F bomb on me, plus a few other words, but she didn't beleive me because i wouldn't tell her what the words were, once i sat back down, and he called me a few other names, i threw a peice of my lunch at him, just part of a slice ofa carrot... but i ended up having to wipe off the tables after lunch when i got in trouble. i find the best thing to do when i am mad is to make a really tight fist under the table/ desk, or out of anyones sight. if i am crying, or sad, i just lookupwards, not directonally, positionally, there actually is a scientific study that proved it is physically and mentally impossible to be upset when you look up... if you like, feel free to tell these to your son, they work for me.

the best thing to do for anger, if you think that making a tight fist may be to close to violence is just talk to someone about it, not really telling on them, more of telling them how you/ he feels...

by the way, nina, you have a good concience, though i am only 12, i think that yelling at him was a good thing. that probably would have done that if i was in your shoes.

I can totally understand your concern. But I also recognise that drawing/painting my frustrations helped attenuate them some. I found drawing Me-zilla ruthlessly crushing my "enemies" to be very cathartic.
Sounds like you're on the right track tho... hope it works out.

I think it is in a way helpful that your son exhibits violence in a non-physical way, it's just that you have to try and keep it to drawing and not much else. I once made the crucial mistake of making an axe-sword in my story during DTI parallel to a Science lesson. Bad mistake, as the class was being really annoying (throwing things, talking loudly, basically everything to overload my senses), in the middle of the class I just burst out and smacked the table with my fist. I felt like throwing the sword at someone, but I was able to keep it together in the end.

I draw very frequently (at school, that is ), and most of my drawings, although related to my story, express something. If I'm happy, I'm going to draw one of my cuter characters being happy, whereas this would be impossible if I was in a similar situation to the one I just described in Science (I'd be more likely to draw one of the evil characters doing something, well, evil. Fortunately this hasn't happened yet). If you think about it, this could lead to a great talent in art. Much of art is expressing ones feelings in a physical manner. If your son can draw his happiness on paper, I think it's a great way to take up some time on a rainy weekend. It might also help communicate if things are difficult. If he isn't talking to you and you want to know why, ask him to draw how he feels. What he draws determines the outcome. So if it's a drawing of someone crying or being miserable, it's sad. And if it's anything like what you described, he'd be angry. Good idea, eh?

He could be gettign out his frustrations but he could also be trying to tell you stuff. I'm surprised you're just finding out that he has trouble writing stories. That was made pretty clear to us right off the bat. Of course, the school staff didn't see it as an autistic issue. They said he didn't want to work. There are various language problems my son has that would otherwise go unnoticed. It comes off as apathy and wanting to play.
I'd tutor him in reading comprehension (it's tied into understanding the mechanics of a story) and then give him a stock supply of stories to write.