I don't know my girlfriend of 2.5 years

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I realized this some time ago. I don't know her at all. We've been together 2.5 years and living together, both as work-at-home-freelancers, for 8 months.

I'm sure she knows me, I talk a lot. I lecture her on new interests of mine. I tell her the plans I have, how I'm feeling, every little thing that happens to me.

I don't usually ask her to tell me about herself or activities, and when I do it's really more to make her feel that I want to know.

I sort of do, though.

Also, while I've gone through a million changes with regard to how I act, how I dress, what I want to do, what I do to occupy my time, she seems to have remained largely the same person I met 2.5 years ago.

I know her in the sense that I can predict how she'll respond to situations and challenges, but I guess the internals of her workings are largely a giant black-hole mystery to me.

I don't even know if she is happy.

We get along very well, have never had any kind of argument or anything. It's perfectly smooth sailing, relationship-wise.

Can anyone relate to this?

Do you think you've realised this because your theory of mind is improving?

I've been married 27 years and I still learn things I didn't know about my wife. It's a process.

I feel the same way sometimes. Sometimes I look at her and say "who are you?" although not to her face. I probably won't ever understand how or what she is feeling.

I didnt have any significant insight into my gf's motivations for many years. Even now I understand some things, but not others. When I figure out bits I tell her and she usually agrees. But to make any advances I have to have my hyper-focus on her, which doesnt happen often.

Not sure about that. I've known it the entire time. I did just in the past 2 weeks find out that I'm an aspie. I've been re-evaluating everything in my life in light of this new information.

I only ask this here because I'm curious if it's a common experience among us.

The real question here is:
Is this a problem for you or her?
Some people just don't have that much emotional closeness and it is okay.