Do You Ever Feel Like...

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You never do anything right? My parents always complain about me doing something wrong all the time. If its not one thing its the other.

Yes, I sometimes feel like this. Even if I try to make everything right there is always somethng wrong. It´s very frustrating.

My own worst critic is me. This is the hardest type of criticism to deal with because there is no-one to tell you which way you should have tried to go. At least when someone else is making the observations, you can try them out, reject them if necessary, adapt them to your own ends ... but when you're own, there is nothing except an unsolveable puzzle.

Yes, often. Even if I am conforming to their expectations, it's still ''wrong''. Thankfully not everyone is like that but my uncle is. He criticises me because I don't go out in the evenings (even though I am a daytime socialiser), but then if I did go out in the evenings and got home late and had a few to drink and was laying in bed all the next morning, then he will still criticise me for laying in bed and not getting out and doing things. So I can't win.

Being in situations where I can win is very frustrating.

Yes, from the inside (me) and the outside (others). Let's face it: We're toast.
1) A symptom of Asperger's is perfectionism.
2) Because we don't relate well to the world, we are always criticized.
That means that all of us need psychotherapy or something so that we realize our own value and learn to enjoy being ourselves. I think that's the hardest thing.

I had a friend who's mother constantly accused her of being at fault for everything that went wrong even if it clearly had nothing to do with her.
Over the years she internalized this and spent years of her life constantly apologizing to people.
I and other friends of hers tried to break her of this habit, and although she got better over the years she's still very high-strung and neurotic because of years of being told she was screwing things up, despite the fact that she was a stellar student, a statewide debate champion, graduated by HS & college a year early, etc.

Try not to let it get to you like that, it's no good.
Parents can be very critical, but a lot of that is them projecting their own shortcomings onto their children.
Once you realize that, it's a lot easier to accept that they're really talking about about their own problems a lot of the times they're complaining about you and to feel sympathy for them rather than being angry at them or yourself about it.

...and even if you are actually screwing things up a lot, you should still try to forgive yourself for that; you're only human, after all...

I have done a few things well, but overall, nothing about my life has been done 'right.'

Last edited by Willard on 01 Dec 2013, 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've done some things well, due to my inherent aspie-given talent, others I've f****d up horrifically, but to my own lack of social insight, which is also aspie-given. I don't doubt that this pattern will continue, but by God it would be easier if I had someone able to give suitable advice. As it is, all I've got is one best friend, and he's not always the most reliable.

They won't tell you everything. Later on, they will say, "Well, you should of known I wanted it that way, or you should know that has to be done too, or done first ..."

Me: Why would I know that ?

Parent: Everyone knows that.

They expect you to be a mind-reader.

Yes, this happens to me a lot and I don't know how to stop it.

Well. yes. but a little instruction in 'mind-reading' can be a useful thinking, no matter how painfully it is acquired.