Going places alone

Post Reply New Topic

Do you have trouble going places (especially new places) alone? Do you prefer to go somewhere on your own, or with someone?

I have trouble figuring out the logistics of places. I am pretty good at finding my way road-wise. But figuring out things like where to park, where to get in line, or where to pay gets me confused. I am never sure if I did the right thing or not.

I like to have someone with me to help negotiate interactions with other people. Like at a restaurant, when the waitress comes around, I absolutely can't stand having to deal with a waitress on my own. I try to be polite but I just find it tedious and annoying. They never accept what I tell them, like when I say I don't want a beverage, they act all concerned about it, "are you sure?" Sometimes they will keep asking like 3-4 times through the meal if I want a beverage or not. Ugh, I said no already!

Actually this is a familiar question I get in all kinds of situations, when I proclaim my apparently strange and bizarrre preferences, they ask "are you sure? are you sure? are you sure?" and all concerned like there must be something wrong because I didn't say what they expected. I was shopping in a shoe store today, and a clerk asked me if I wanted him to put the pair of shoes I was carrying up at the counter. I said no. He said, "are you sure?" It is not a matter of whether or not I had decided I wanted the shoes. I just do not want to have to explain at the counter to a different clerk, that someone else already brought up my pair of shoes and wait for them to figure out which ones they are. It is easier to just hand them the shoes when I walk up to pay. Funny enough they don't ask "are you sure?" when you are actually buying something, it's only when they want you to buy something.

Okay the other thing that annoys me a lot, is when a person is alone, I think especially if you are female, other people act like maybe you need company. I think it bothers a lot of people to see a woman alone somewhere without an escort. There are times I definitely prefer to be alone, or I don't mind it, like going to a concert for instance, I am there to appreciate the music and I probably don't really want to have a conversation with anyone. But some people will act like they have the absolute right to make conversation with you if you are alone, whereas they won't bother a person who is already with someone.

Honestly, as long as I'm not surrounded by crowds entertaining themselves by sitting in judgment of my happy solitude, I usually have more fun going places by myself. Looking back, my most fun afternoons were spent aimlessly roaming around New York, DC, Montreal, Chicago, LA, San Francisco, San Jose, and other places by myself. It's just fun and satisfying to be able to decide something looks interesting and be able to go check it out without having to worry about anyone else. There's something deliciously decadent about having everyone think you're on a plane heading home after being dropped off at the airport, when in reality you're on the subway heading into the city for a fun day of solo exploration before heading home that evening.

Having my own sleeper car on Amtrak is practically a religious experience that could only be better if I were allowed to have my kitty with me, standing up against the window peering out, or curled up in a ball purring loudly on the seat facing me. Sigh. If I somehow became a billionaire, the first thing I'd buy is my own private railcar, have it gutted and rebuilt into a loft-like computer & cat-friendly travel studio, and hit the rails for at least a year or two (most people don't know it, but if you have your own private railcar, you can pay Amtrak to hitch it up to their trains and pull it around for a few thousand dollars per trip).

I get anxious when I go places by myself and like to go with another person-it helps with having to drive in the city when you are looking for something and the hustle and bustle is overwhelming to drive.

I don't like going much of anywhere alone, but can do so.

I pretty much go everywhere alone. When there is no one to go with you; then it is go alone or stay home. I don't want to sit home all the time. You get used to it.

I don't go out much to really say.

In terms of going from point A to point B, I much prefer to be alone with my iPod. When I'm at the actual destination, I like to have friends/someone else there, otherwise I feel awkward/don't know where to stand, how to act, etc.

I can go places alone, although I hate going places alone for the first time. I admit I tend to latch on to people I know when I do go somewhere, and I get frustrated when they inevitably leave me alone. I know they're not obligated, but without someone else I have no idea what to do in a lot of situations (say, parties).

If I know exactly where to go, I have no problem at all. If I don't know exactly what to do and where to go I panic without the guidance of somebody else. For example, today I had to go to my hospital to get blood work done by myself for the first time. I didn't know in which room I had to go to get the blood work done, so I resolved to go to the office where I usually see my doctor. I went there, and waited, because for some reason I chose to go when it was lunch break for most of the staff. I was in a very panicked state though, I paced around the waiting room. To make things worse, I read a sign that said lab open from 8am - 12pm. This made me think that I was late for being able to get my lab-work done(it was 12:30pm) so I progressed into an even more anxious state. After about 10 minutes a nurse came and told me exactly where to go. After that it was a smooth and anxiety free process for me. I do better going places when there is a routine and a plan thoroughly explicated, usually it takes me at least an hour or two of preparation to even leave the door. If I am just randomly dragged out of the house or I don't know where exactly I'm going, it is then when I start to panic.

Unfamiliarity frightens me, so I get really anxious when I have to go somewhere alone to a place I've never been.

I'd much rather go somewhere alone that with someone, unless I need them to help me.

Frances

Most of the time, I would rather go places alone than with others.

I prefer to have someone with me. Being alone in a crowd of people makes me so anxious, and I always feel so lost out in public. I like having someone to guide me.

I hate going anywhere alone, I always have either my husband (99/% of the time) or my mother in law. The only times I go out alone are taking the dog for a walk but that's not really going out, I'm just walking the same old route, head down, ipod on, or the rare time I go to the local shop alone.

My mother in law asked me when we were shopping a few weeks ago if I'd go and change her vouchers for her (a supermarket here in the UK allows you to double up the value of the vouchers you have). Anyway I just stared at her and she was like yeah so if you could just go to the desk and change them for me I'll stay here and look around. I quickly explained that my husband and I would be changing ours over in a few minutes anyway so why don't we all go together?! She shrugged and said okay, I can't even begin to tell you the panic that it brought up in me that I might have to wander off alone but also speak to someone alone and all the messing around with the vouchers.

I often get nervous and lost when going somewhere on my own, unless I plan it out very well first and take time to get to learn the route. This is only because I have to use public transport, though. I will be a lot more confident when I get my full driving license.

The biggest problem I have with going out alone, is I just dread dealing with people. I mean store clerks, cashiers, waitresses, etc. also those random strangers who try to make conversation. I find it incredibly annoying and frustrating to deal with all those. I have such a dread of these types of interactions that I will sometimes go far out of my way to avoid them. It's not exactly anxiety, I don't know what to call it. I just have a lot of impatience with it. Having someone with me buffers those encounters, maybe the other person even handles the conversation so I don't have to.

I guess I am just trying to ascertain if this is an autistic trait or not. Maybe it is more my ADHD, or maybe it is just my personality. I just find certain things so obnoxious I can barely contain my disgust. I don't understand for instance why a cashier ringing up my groceries feels the need to comment in any way about what I'm buying. So what if I am buying 10 of the same frozen pizza? They make these stupid comments like, "boy someone must really like that pizza." I don't even know how I am supposed to respond to that. When I buy cat food they ask how many cats I have. I think it is none of their business and sometimes I tell them so. Other times I just stare them down without answering. I hate to be a b***h but this is something I have complained about to management in many stores because I find it so invasive. I know it is not the clerk's fault, they are supposed to chat with customers, but I just think they should know better than to ask such things. I would rather they don't talk to me at all other than saying hello and thank you and whatever else pertains to the transaction. I use self-checkout whenever it is available.