Should I not let this put me off?

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Someone said because of my AS communication and social interaction will never come natuarlly to me? Since that was said it really is affecting my performance when i hang out with my friends and putting me off even trying to make small talk

In more depth what does it mean exactley that social interaction will never come natuarlly? Does that mean whatever i say will just sound stupid when i try and interact with others?

You should stop letting what these people tell you affect you.

& so what if it doesn't come naturally?
Ice skating never came naturally to me, but i'm quite accomplished in it now.

Yeah but what does "not come natuarlly" actually mean in more depth?

what it says.
isn't natural to you..?
i can't think how else to describe it.
don't have a natural aptitude for?

So when i hang out with my friends how can i get by if communication isn't natuarl?

I think the worst thing is people tellling how awkward my communication skills are like my younger brother.

brothers do stuff like that.

& if they're your friends they won't care that you're awkward.
i'm awkward when talking to people all the time - people aren't that judgemental when they're your friends.
as long as you try your best, it's all you can do.
the fact you have friends, proves this.

well, they are friends for a reason so being weird should not be a problem in my opinion. ITs with people you dont know well who are close minded and judgemental that non natural communication would form a problem.

do poor communication skills and being werid go hand in hand or something?

people seem 'weird' if they can't communicate properly, yes.

It means that there are some yahoos in your life who are dictating to you what you can and can not do, instead of letting you see for yourself.

No offense but do you come as across as weird becasue of your communication skills.

me? yep.
i got called a freak too many times to count in school.

now people just call it 'quirky' and accept me for what i am.

My fine motor control in general will never be as good as it will be to the average person. I'll always be a bit more clumsy. Still I can paint miniatures quite well because I practiced at it a lot. I could even do quite well in the single sport that interested me that required quite a lot of precision. Now I'm still clumsy, I still bump into things, I still spill things and I can't skip rope to save my life. What's changed is that I've started taking into account that in most cases I am clumsy and skipping rope is no longer considered to be a social activity I'm expected to enjoy or be good at. Like always place drink at least 40cm away from me so I don't bump into it.

The skill doesn't transfer, gaining mastery in one thing hasn't helped me much in another, I'm still rubbish at writing even if I can paint tiny tiny figurines. But at least I can paint tiny tiny figurines very well because of how much I've practiced at it. I'd say the same has applied to my social skills, although I'm still rubbish on many things since I could practice at painting on my own but social opportunities to practice tend to be limited by how much energy I have and available willing humans.

My point is, just because it won't come as easily to you doesn't mean you can't eventually get OK at it. If you look at it in game terms, think of it as having a -10% xp penalty to leveling up socially. (Like how many of us 'lag' behind the average NT in many things) You may have to do some extra work others won't have to get to roughly the same level, but there's nothing that says you can't eventually get at least closer to them through practice, analysis and repeat exposure. Don't stop socializing because you feel weird, certainly not with your friends. Anyone who's friends with an Aspie would probably be seriously weirded out if their friend stopped being a bit weird, they're used to it by now.

You can overcome it if I can.

My communication is greatly affected by my aspergers, the fact that I am intensely right brained (I think in images not words), and the fact I grew up in a very remote and mountainous area of Appalachia. I grew up not speaking standard English (think southern accent times ten). I struggle everyday with my language and I am 40 years old. I often speak in both an accent and with old timey words (I use alot of archaic terms both because of the aspergers and due to my upbringing) many people struggle to understand me at times. It now comes naturally to speak to people in a way they understand unless i am agitated or excited then I revert back.

However I have been able to consciously overcome much of it to the extent I was able to make it through graduate school and am currently taking several English graduate level classes. I have written and published one book a host of articles professional and otherwise, and have several others in production.

In the social arena I have had alot of failures casual acquaintances often find me abrupt and I have been called arrogant and unfeeling my entire life. I am not arrogant that is just the perception due to the aspergers. I have however been able to find work where being social doesn't affect me. On the dating front most women have had a hard time being with me for long periods of time as the aspergers does get to most but my current GF has lasted the longest and we will probably be together as she understands the disorder. However that is not to say I have not been successful with women, The arrogant thing actually will work in your favor if all you want to do is get them in bed.

That all said I do have a hard time being taken seriously in public and on Internet forums. This is because when I become comfortable I forget to edit myself and so I misspell words on forums and write/speak in archaic terms and speak with a strong accent. This can be particularly hard in academic settings and I have suffered for it professionally and personally.

It's correct in a sense, social stuff won't ever come "naturally" to you in the way it comes to NTs, but speaking as an older Aspie, I know it's definitely possible to socialise reasonably well with nothing more than an educated Aspie brain, and it doesn't tire me out all that easily.

It's all about learning from successes and failures, and about finding the right coping strategies and using them until they seem to come naturally, even if they're basically artificial things that you've added onto your personality.

At times I've made social stuff into a special interest, and really studied people and psychology, and I've rehearsed and thought long and hard about how best to conduct myself. If you focus well on the subject, there's not much you can't achieve.

So for all practical purposes, social stuff does come naturally, in the end, as long as you stick at it.

It means that being good at small talk will only come with practice and effort. I am now quite good at it, as I have plenty of experiences to share, having traveled in dozens of states. I also have hobbies like gardening which aren't so "special."

Sort of like having a stroke--things that you once took for granted, like standing up without toppling over--may now be really, really hard. But, that doesn't mean you will never walk again--some folks do learn to walk quite well again after being disabled by a stroke--if they put in the time and effort. Yet, others sit in wheelchairs collecting disability, even though their strokes may actually have affected less of their brain.