Anyone feel like this?

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Several times a week I get this feeling come over me. I feel intensely aggravated, tired and somewhat anxious. The best way I can describe it is that I feel desperate- for what I don't know.

I start to try to hide in small spaces, look only at the ground, stop focusing my eyes...

I find it really hard to talk at all, and if someone is talking at me I am likely to be snappy.

It becomes all about self-preservation. Just trying to get through the time.

The only way that I can shake it off is to sleep or to get completely away from everyone and everything.

Is this what others would call a meltdown or shutdown?

This sounds kind of like my shutdowns, although I don't sleep every time: I usually end up unable to move or speak and in a kind of conscious state where my thoughts drift in and out of anything related to language. It feels like a short time but can be up to two hours, and does not feel like sleep at all.

Sometimes during one of these, I do fall asleep. Either way, the frustration, aggravation, fatigue, anxiety tend to fade during the shutdown. Sensory overstimulation and emotional overstimulation can both put me into this state (sometimes both at the same time).

I can never identify what actually starts it, it comes on kind of gradually like an accumulative issue.

It doesn't feel like sleep. But it does kind of feel like my mind has gone far away from where I really am, and its there just enough to keep my body functioning if I'm at work.

Yeah, it does feel like that.

I can often identify it because I spend a lot of time alone and thus things that trigger it tend to stand out. I do have times where it seems to come out of nowhere, but I tend to think it may be that I'm trying too hard to do something and it's time to take a break.

It may be work and stress actually causing it: http://www.shutdownsandstressinautism.c ... utism.html

The papers on that site describe shutdown in a way that may help.

I get that someetimes but very rarely

Thankyou so much verdandi for that link. It really helped me to understand what is going on.

I'm glad that helped.

This is much more detailed and may also help: http://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/writeups/shutdown

That is an interesting link. It's funny, I've always wondered about my sleepy reaction to stress and difficult tasks (like math class ). I've read that pre-frontal cortex activity actually decreases while performing difficult tasks in ADD-PI people. So now I'm wondering which it is. There's also the cumulative stress associated with just being "out there" doing normal daily activities like driving and grocery shopping that makes me sleepy. I function by taking naps. At least they're free and have no side effects.

feel like this now
crossing over grey thing stone thing in behind of eyes, shifting
shifting to ____________________
in is over ______________ to be for use of me
she land feathers airplanes floats down to ground
twitching rodent nose poking out of hole
slam door sound
look around look around
hiss of water each scrub movement shouts who
door shuts metallic scrape
holding square metal plastic between two hands
_________________________
_____________ ________________
________ fabric whoosh
____
turn ____________
_____ sdricketicket air

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