Psycologist not taking you seriously

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I was talking to a friend who also has a disability, a different 1. We were discussing how some psychs will not take you seriously and just go talk to your parents even if you are an adult. To me when they did that, they were all like not wanting to take me seriously because I was aspie who didnt know any better. They think Im some crazy person. When this is my life, and I am 99% in charge of it, my mom has is no longer in charge of me, she has not guided me thru the last 3-4 years of my life. That just offends me at times. Thats definetly a red flag. Its like why do they do that, do they view us as bunch of idiots.

I've been in the same situation as a parent, being told that they know my child better than I do after spending, lets see, maybe 8 hours with him, and then can't work with me because I'm a crappy parent and we don't have the same beliefs.

I hate behaviorists

Happens even to adults. I've tried talking to medical doctors as well as a psychiatrist & numerous psychologists about what's been troubling me. Issues that have been on-going since childhood. I'm nearly 50 now. They just want to slap a label on me of either bi-polar (within 5 minutes of the first appointment), or depressed. None of them seem to have any clue what Aspergers is & are only familiar with a couple of symptoms. Plus because of my gender, they think I couldn't possibly be on the spectrum because it's strictly a male problem. If they can't treat it with either anti-depressants or mood altering drugs, they just aren't interested. They won't even consider testing either.

I've also had them misdiagnose my kids, & tell me I didn't know how to be a parent. None of them have ever spent any time observing any of us under "normal" circumstances. When I've tried to explain stuff...they just start babbling on about stuff that's not even relevant, & treat me like I'm some raving idiot.

I guess it's not profitable to be on the spectrum if you are not a young child. Seems that most professionals truly believe that anyone on the spectrum is just magically cured when they hit 18 years of age. So sad too, because there is still much to learn about the human brain. I don't know what's happened to research, but where I live, it seems to have been put aside in favor of drugs thanks in a large part to the companies who make them.

This used to be a problem for me. But as I cycled through various therapists over the years I figured out what their general processes were and now I'm pretty good with keeping things moving in the directions I want to go in. And if they say something the is utter bollocks I'm not afraid to call them out.

Uh... so if in the US why the heck would you even pay or see these people? I very carefully intereviewed and selected my shrinks. There are plenty people out there and you will find one if you take the time to really seek it out. Sometimes there are things you really cannot do anything about and other times you can take some responsibility.

LOL. I came right out and told my current one that the first session was as much a job interview for him as a therapy session for me. A good therapist appreciates this because it means I've taken ownership of my problems. I suppose it could be seen as controlling and a form of avoidance, but that gets addressed as we proceed and I'm able to demonstrate some ability to learn and change.

This is great advice! The therapist I was speaking of didn't like me asking her questions. I was supposed to accept her glorious program or take a hike. I hiked. Then she actually had the nerve to ask me if I wanted her to consult me instead, since she couldn't work with my son because of our differences of opinion. What???

Last edited by MommyJones on 18 Mar 2011, 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

I finally gave in and went to get some help with my depression. I've battled it on and off for a long time. I know when I need help with it. So, I had to go through the preinterview with the staff psychologist and in listing my long list of varoius stressors in my life I concluded with 'I've come to the conclusion that I also have asperger's'. Whoops. Wrong thing to say at a depression intake interview.

Not only am I incapable of diagnosing my depression I can't possibly know if I have Asperger's. The symptoms of depression can seem like Asperger's. O_o What?

My brain illustrates novels as I read them. Or even just conversations. Does yours? Hmmmm... that's an interesting side effect of depression...
I can give you a verbal dissertation on indigenous perennial plant species of North America as well as the invasive exotic species and where they are encroaching into native habitats. But my degree is in fine art. Narrow scope, intense interests... hmmmmm... interesting side effect of depression...

He kept pushing me to tell him why I thought I had Asperger's so, of course, I froze up. I told him I'd be glad to provide him with a detailed list but I couldn't really explain it to him right then and there. My brain literally went blank. ( god, I HATEHATEHATE that ) After a few awkward moments of trying to stumble through explanations I simply shut it down and told him that wasn't what I was there for in the first place. Being depressed I as already a crying, snot faced fool - I can see where THAT depression symptom can 'look like' Asperger's. I sure hope he knows that emotional liability exists in both. This is the second day after that visit and I'm still recovering from the exhaustion of it.

I HATE that look of condescension that they give when you dare to interpret your own actions. I HATE that automatic assumption that you are brainless or over reacting or reading too far into your research. I've lived with me for forty odd years. I DO think I know myself better than you do in a twenty minute interview. I do understand my depression and when I need medication to help control it. Psychotherapy is not going to change the conditions of my life. Meds will change the chemical imbalance keeping me from moving forward. No, I don't have a medical degree - I simply have twenty four years experience with this depression patient and her meds. They all say they want you to be a proactive self advocate but I'm not really sure they know what those words mean judging by their reactions.

So, in short, in order to get the depression meds I need I have to endure another 8 months of therapy to talk about my alcoholic father whom I made peace with after his death fourteen years ago. And, even though I wasn't going to persue a diagnosis for Asperger's I may possibly have put myself on the path to one. Or, judging by this guy, NOT diagnosed.

It really seems these people are more interested in being right than actually helping at times.

Last year I tried a therapist one last time, to help with job issues, specifically to help separate my innate problems from problems related to secondary anxiety.

This time would be different. In my first session I explicitly told the therapist I'm here for CBT for job issues, traditional therapy doesn't work for me, I wasn't going off topic, and I have NVLD, which has a lot of the same issues as Aspergers. She agreed with all of this, recommended a book on CBT, asked if I was willing to try EMDR as an adjunct. I agreed.

Turns out she was lying. Next few sessions she mentioned CBT a few times, usually when I brought it up, but there was mostly silence or what in retrospect looked like traditional therapy. I was confused. Finally she asked if I knew how therapy works. Huh? Looking back, I think she decided the first or second session that I really need traditional therapy to make me more social, but didn't tell me that.

I agreed to try EMDR. She praised me for agreeing. WTF? I decide things based on if it might help, not to get approval. It didn't work.

She asked, What's next. I answered, CBT for my job issues. She declined. I left.

Last year I tried a therapist one last time, to help with job issues, specifically to help separate my innate problems from problems related to secondary anxiety.

This time would be different. In my first session I explicitly told the therapist I'm here for CBT for job issues, traditional therapy doesn't work for me, I wasn't going off topic, and I have NVLD, which has a lot of the same issues as Aspergers. She agreed with all of this, recommended a book on CBT, asked if I was willing to try EMDR as an adjunct. I agreed.

Turns out she was lying. Next few sessions she mentioned CBT a few times, usually when I brought it up, but there was mostly silence or what in retrospect looked like traditional therapy. I was confused. Finally she asked if I knew how therapy works. Huh? Looking back, I think she decided the first or second session that I really need traditional therapy to make me more social, but didn't tell me that.

I agreed to try EMDR. She praised me for agreeing. WTF? I decide things based on if it might help, not to get approval. It didn't work.

She asked, What's next. I answered, CBT for my job issues. She declined. I left.

This.

Faced with condescension & disbelief, shutting down with mind gone to screensaver mode... that sums up most interactions i've had.

And those were the times when I was brave enough & ill enough to seek help but not be so ill as to not to be able to seek help...and the reactions I got made me give up on the whole thing.

I may try again in future but the thought of trying to battle the system to find the right person who won't patronise, who will actively listen with respect & who won't jump in with preconceptions doesn't appeal.
This is where I really could do with some help or advocacy, but hey, can't get that without the dx.
Return to Step 1.
Rinse. Repeat.