Have you noticed this happen when entering adulthood?

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I personally have found that growing up into an adult past 18 people that people that were there and gave me suppourt when i was 11 years old and 17 do not really help me anymore if i am troubled etc........ how come when you become an adult some family members that helped you i the past do not give you advice anymore when you get beyond 18?

my aunt for example when i am in a crisis these days does talk to me and give me advice anymore. when i was a teenager and a child if she knew there was something bothering me she would sit down and talk me throught it. today though if she can tell i am bothered or something is clearly not right she just looks kinda puzzled or indifferent towards helping me etc........ this holds true for a few other people in my family circle.

Do you agree with what i am saying or not?

Last edited by Jamesy on 14 Mar 2011, 7:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I guess they do that because they figure when you're an adult, you should know yourself and figure it out.

Well I feel kinda betrayed and abandoned by people that alledgedly cared about me and now they don't as such.

I havent noticed that too much in my own life. With a set of relatives who didnt know I had AS, they were real nice to me as a kid. By a certain age, they had higher expectations for me cause I was an adult.

In my life, its mostly the opposite, not that many of the people I talked to knew me as a kid. As a kid, I didnt ask for help mainly cause I avoided my social problems and didnt talk to any1. As a young adult, Im really come head on with many problems that I never conquered. People help me here and there.

Theres the expectations that we are suppose to be adults and know better by now. But thats probably not the case for many aspies. I know for me, Im going thru social stages in my life that people went thru in HS, on top of that being surrounded more older like situations.

Do you ask for advice or support?

People who offered it to you when you were a child might feel that now you are an adult they might be patronising you by offering unsolicited advice.

Hey, when I was a few months old, I know SOMEONE changed my diapers. For many months after that, I was fed, When I was 3 a number of people may have liked me. When I was like 6, adults wanted to buy me things, I guess just to be nice. I just wanted to pay MYSELF. Until I was 18, my mother felt she had to provide for me. After that, I was out on my own.

JOIN THE CLUB! Nobody is left to wipe your rear.

That sounds pretty normal. Although, I honestly wish my family would back off >.>

No, I had hell, not support, by just before adulthood and I was glad to get away from it.

It's pretty normal, you're a "grown-up" now and expected to solve your own problems...

Do the know that you have AS? if not then they might not understand that you still need help/advice.

Yes, only I was 15 and "damn near an adult!". I was also "damn near a teenager!!" when I was 10. Eventually you will adjust.

Why should AS make them think that jamesy would have such problems? Have you read the DSM?

What does the DSM have to do with whether someone still needs help and advice? The vast majority of autistic traits are not even discussed by the DSM, or only in vague ways.

I was the same sort of way. Heck, if I relied on others, I would be FAR worse now.

I was thinking of mentioning how it is a shame your mother tried to keep you down. But I had the same sort of problem, albeit in a different way, so maybe it kind of helped in the end.

On many comedies, and even somewhat in real life, they portray some kids, that have RICH parents, as stupid dolts that can't do ANYTHING. They often mention that it is because everything was done FOR them.

My mum can be like this when she loses patience with me but she could always tell that there was something different about me. My siblings, however, have always treated me like crap and now that I'm an adult they probably think I should just get on with my life.

It dopes feel harder now because even though I might be an adult I've still not gained enough skills to be able to work through problems myself. I mean sometimes I can but some times I have a meltdown and the people in my life, especially my mum, think that I can control that and pretty much yell at me when it happens.

I moved out because my family wouldn't back off.

All I meant was that people with AS tend to need more advice and support then someone who is NT, and if his family doesn't realize that they may think that he is being immature or refusing to grow-up, when in reality he has a legitimation need.