How come this is not always a good idea?

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YES i know what you will be thinking after reading this thread - "Grow up" anyway.....

I personally at 21 am finding aspergers syndrome a challenging conditon to live with and sometimes i feel so trapped that i find myself constantly asking my parents for help and advice but the simple truth of hte matter is that really i can't expect them to help me deal with the lifes pressures. its almost as if i am abusing them by asking them too do the impossible at times. i mean really what can they do too help me?

do you guys do this or not? How come your parents are not always the best people to turn too in a time of need?

I think they are just trying to make you be more independent. My mum sometimes helps me out and other times doesn't think she needs to. A lot of people underestimate how severe some of my symptoms are.
I don't know your situation but because nobody helps me in those areas I need the most help in it's up to me to look for my own solutions, this includes making god awful dinners, spending too much money on clothes that I need and going to places that I know aren't good for me but because my mum isn't there she thinks I'm handling it. I've made some rash decisions and just wish I could take them back.
I'm not really sure how she'd react if I did tell her about my real issues. I got so depressed once and suicidal because she was acting cold to me because she thought I was exaggerating my symptoms, so I had to find my own solution to that too.

Maybe if you didn't abuse your parents, they would be more happy and willing to help you. AS is not an excuse to be a jerk.

They might feel helpless. Sometimes you have to accept who you are and leave it at that instead of being chronically dissatisfied with yourself. Your parents are powerless to change who you, fundamentally, are. You are just stuck with yourself, like everyone else.

I'm actually thinking "don't beat yourself up for needing help." Growing up is a process, and different people "grow up" at different rates--lots of 21 year olds need help with managing their lives even when they don't have AS. Plus, even the most mature of NT adults need help sometimes. Everybody's skills are different.



I'm not sure what you mean by "asking them to do the impossible" but asking them for help isn't really abusive (unless you scream demands at them and insist they help you even when they say they can't).



I agree...parents can only help so much, probably want to help you be independent, and may not understand how hard things are for you. Also, if your parents are your only source of help and advice, they might just feel burnt out--it's good if you can find a few different people to ask for help with things so that none of those people become exhausted (plus, then you get a mixture of advice which can sometimes be more balanced).....sometimes this isn't possible though.

I ask my parents for a lot of help with things...they don't seem to mind, but they have told me they can't always help and I just accept this as part of life.

No, I don't. My father died, and my mother is 88 years old.