How did you react to being diagnosed?

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I just found out that I've been diagnosed with Asperger's and after a moment of intense undefinable emotional reaction to the news, I am now having an absence of reaction....I think this is because I'm having too many reactions all at once.

It's like each emotional and intellectual reaction has been thrown into a blender set on high....what I see is, for the most part, just an undefinable blur of emotion-and-thought-goo.

Some of the bits that I [i]can[i] figure out are basically just thoughts to which I attach emotions I think I would feel if I felt anything just now:

1. Relief....perhaps happiness. I've agonized for years about why other people understand so many things that I don't, about why I can't make friends, about why I don't seem to think like other people, about why i can't explain things if I haven't said them before or written them down and read them over and over....etc. Having some kind of explanation is something I've hoped I could find for a very long time.

2. Sadness/denial...because all I ever wanted was to be "normal". I know that "normalcy" is a vague sort of concept and that there is no overarching norm for human minds--and I actually can't see how diversity is anything but a good thing...but now that I've been diagnosed with Asperger's I can't pretend that if I try hard enough, I'll become "normal." Overall, I can intellectually see that not being able to fool myself into thinking I can do something impossible (and probably damaging, since not liking yourself and trying to be someone you aren't strikes me as unhealthy) is a good thing...but it was a way to cope with rejection and frustration.

3. Nervous curiosity....because I don't know how the diagnosis will change things. For example: Will people treat me differently (meaning badly) if they know? They already treat me differently (for example when I start rocking, fidgeting and staring at nothing in group meetings or when I'm waiting in line at a store because I'm experiencing sensory overload....or when I say things that apparently don't fit the conversation I'm trying to take part in), but I wonder if this would become worse because of stereotypes about people on the autism spectrum.

If you've been diagnosed with an ASD (or have thought about what it would be like to be diagnosed) how did (or would) you react? Would you react at all? Did it change your life at all? If you had a reaction like mine, where you felt all spinny and/or overwhelmed or numb, how long did it take for your mind to settle?

I started investigating ASDs last year. Was formally diagnosed this January.

I am still reacting.

I had the same reaction...I tried to figure out how a "normal" person wold react and then act the emotion out accordingly, like an actress just reading her lines. I've come to accept it, but there are still so many ignorent people, who either choose not to believe me (because what they need from me contradicts my diagnoses) or treat me different after they find out. It's exhausting, really.
But rest assured, we get the last laugh.
Was it Kut Cobain who said "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am pretending to be" ?? Something along those lines.
All the "normals" are secretly jealous and try to pass themselves off as autistic sometimes (in the media esp.) the all wish they were like YOU!

I tried so hard and just wanted to be "normal" my whole life, then I just gave up, and I'm way happier now that I did!

Im not formally, but I know I am aspie,
I always knew Im different, and now I know why.

Everyone (na) said dont wory about it,,you just dont have empathy

Thats bs, I have put 2n2 together and done my own discovery

What a headache,..but what a relief.

Though it was not a surprise that I was diagnosed with Asperger's (as an adult), I felt tremendous relief in receiving the Asperger's diagnosis. For a long time I had tried to determine what it was that made me so different from those around me. I had even thought I might be the only person on earth like me. So...with learning I had Asperger's, I was very relieved and happy---I was not alone on this earth afterall. There were others like me. And that was when I joined the WrongPlanet in November of 2008. I then became fascinated in learning about Asperger's from others here at the WrongPlanet. And it has been a wonderful journey of discovery.

just diagnosed recently too. You put it into words good. Felt some relief that there was an end to some mystery and finally a label that could help communicate my condition to people who can help me, Felt some sadness because it doesn't really make the problems go away and because I wonder whether there is any point to all my endless trying to be normal and to make it in the world. Felt some disappointment because it seems that the label only helps with professionals like doctors, psychologists, social workers etc but friends and family don't understand it and prefer to stick with what they are already think rather than research or try to understand. Felt confused about how things might change. Feel ashamed to give up my dreams of being normal and accept support services but desperately need to experience some success and stability in life.

I just found out a few days ago myself. I always knew something wasn't quite right. About two years ago I started thinking I might be mildly autistic. But it was a bit different for me. I found first that I was probably a savant, then discovered that as a savant I surely had some form of disability and that disability was Asperger's. So my first feeling was relief that it wasn't something worse. Half of savants have some form of autisim, most of the rest are mentally disabled. Still it was very strange to reach 55 years old before finding out I had a disability.

The weirdest thing is that I thought I was a genius. I have the savant memory skills, and I have the talents. I'm a lead guitarist, a good graphic designer, and a nationally published writer, but I'm still an aspie. I still have all of the social blindness of the species, I can't seem to put together a relationship or even make friends. I still find myself falling into self-created ruts that can be hell to get out of. And of course I'm fighting the paranoia and obsessive/compulsive problems that all of us seem to have. Actually, I'm not fighting those too hard anymore. I've come to the conclusion that we attract bullies and con artists, we too often look open and needy. So a bit of paranioa is actually a good defense. And as absent-minded as I can be it's actually a good thing that I always check two or three times if I locked the door, if I have my keys, if I remembered everything I was going after.

I think all in all I'm glad to know, and I wish I had found out years ago. For one thing it explains so much about how my life has gone, answers so many long unanswered questions, why my childhood was a bully infested hell. Now going forward I know I'm different, and I know why, and when I start looking for a job I have a better idea of what to avoid and how I can maximize my chances to find one I can live with. As far as relationships go, well, at least I know why what I was doing didn't work, but that doesn't mean I'll be able to come up with something that will. All I can do is try.

I didn't believe it cuz I didnt know what high functioning autism was but when I researched it I was pretty happy that I'd been diagnosed with it cuz I suddenly had a solid explanation for why I couldn't be normal. I was observing my differences for years and was starting to get freaked out about it cuz I had no idea why I was different. For example sitting around a table with other people everyone else seemed to be in some kinda rapport with each other but I couldn't get into this rapport so I just stare at a fixed point and only talk when I've an opportunity to dump some information on someone. People were pointing this out and gave me the impression that there must be something wrong with me for me to be like that. All sorts of little things like that combined had me thinking I was some kinda extraterrestrial or something.

If you were an adult, you were probably relieved, as I was, to fianlly discover what was wrong with you. All of us Aspie adults who are now over 35 grew up undiagnopsed or misdiagnosed. A lot of us were considered behavioral problems. A lot of us were considered wilful brats who insisted on being different. A lot of us were tagged as lazy, too lazy to make friends, get a date, get a job, etc. A lot of us were blamed for being losers and undrachievers and "letting down" our families and such by not living up to our potential. I have heard from adults who claim that they were "surprised" when they were finally diagnosed. I cannot imagine anyone with autism or Asperger's reaching adulthood without realizing that there was something "different" about them. I know it by the time I was six, although there was no label for it (in English) at the time.

Perhaps I'm odd, but I had no reaction to it at all, still doesn't mean much to me, it has not changed my life either

I discovered aspergers 3 weeks ago after watching something about it on TV. I thought it sounded quite a bit like me, so I naturally went to the internet for more information. That brought me here. At first, I was like "meh, it's possible," but after I've had time to think about it, it's so blatantly obvious it blows my mind. I do not have an official diagnosis, nor do I plan on getting one, but these past few weeks have been very shocking to say the least.

At first, I was disappointed, almost to the point of denial. I had no idea what autism really was, to me it was like mental retardation. I wanted to believe I was normal. I wanted to believe there was nothing wrong with me and that I'm not disabled. I always thought of myself as someone who is mostly normal and can do everything a normal person can.

But then, there was still that other part of me, that knew I was always somewhat different. I knew I have no multitasking abilities whatsoever. I knew I really like to focus on my interests. I knew I don't understand small talk. I knew it takes me much longer to process information than most people. I knew I didn't like talking to strangers - more so than most people. I knew I am more philosophical than other people. I knew most people do not enjoy learning like I do. I knew most people do not think logically like I do. I knew people often wrongly interpret my facial expressions, but I could never figure out why, or how for that matter.

But I thought I was just jittery because I drink tea, coffee, and mountain dew all day. I thought my senses were just like everybody else. I thought I was just shy and antisocial. I didn't know just how bad I am about following a routine. I thought everyone had a hard time understanding sarcasm and figurative language from time to time. I thought everybody was born not knowing social rules, and had to learn them. I had no idea.

After reading some of the wrong planet forums, I started thinking, alright, maybe I do have this. So I decided to look into it even more. My mom found out, and she was just as shocked. The next day, she had apologized for almost everything. She could never understand why I acted the way I did. She just thought I was being stubborn. Now she understands. She was convinced that I have it, but, being the aspie that I am, I was still looking into it before I made the decision for myself.

Several days later, I had read many many threads here on WP. I was beginning to accept the fact that I am indeed autistic, and that what I've always liked about myself is in fact because I'm an aspie. But I began to deny it for further reasons. A few negative threads about aspies having a hard time getting jobs, and that it will get worse after I have to live on my own really scared me. I worry myself enough about such things already, but to read that was really depressing.

So I finally thought about signing up for WP and posting about all of this crap to see what you guys think, and really to help get it off my chest. Once again, due to my aspie-ness, I spent days upon days thinking about what to say and how to say it. Eventually I just gave up and realized that it wouldn't really help me decide at all. But I still signed up anyway, because by this time, I was already addicted. AS is clearly my new special interest.

I've been posting here for a week or two now, and I've learned a lot of stuff. I have come to the conclusion that I am indeed an aspie, and that there actually are other people in the world like me. It has been very much relieving. I've learned much about myself in the past few weeks. I still am concerned about just how awkward I actually am and the whole job thing is still bothering me. Then again, if I was really that autistic, I would have found out much earlier, right? I sure hope so.