How to spot if an AS is being a jerk?

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Sounds like a stupid question, right? I would've thought so until I met this aspie way back. Let's call him John. He's a pretty hardcore case and one of his issues is he's way too blunt.

1ST EXAMPLE:
one time he was encouraging one of our friends to go to a polyamory group. When I chimed in I'd like to come along, he was like "Your social skills are inadequate." I was floored. I asked him for clarification. He explained that this is a group of older highly sophisticated people. He says I'll say and do things that'll offend them without me realizing it. He made it clear that he could help me improve my social skills so that won't happen. I declined!

2ND EXAMPLE:
another time I was talking and then once I'm done, he starts talking and bluntly admits that "While you were talking, me and <someone next to him> were checking our emails."

CONCLUSION:
2 years later I confronted him about the 1st example and he sincerely apologized for it. In fact he admitted he did that because of his own inadequate social skills. Up till then, I thought he was a serious jerk who warranted serious retaliatory action.

we all have our moments. he apologized so it would seem he has potential goodness in him that one can work with.

My experiences: Person X starts talking bad about nationality Y with a person from nationality Y. Chucks tantums a lot. Always has to be right. I say I have eaten pizza from across the street- he tells me that I haven't over and over again. He is inconsiderate of other people's believes and ideology.

Oh and one time he made one of his "so-called" friend eat food he did not even want to eat. That's what I call a jerk.

It's not a dumb question. It is a very difficult one. I have a lot of sympathy for people with psychological problems, especially if they are working on improving them. I have less sympathy for people who are not trying to improve. I generally do my best not to think of people as jerks or whatever. Some people are unhealthy to deal with. It's necessary to keep as far away from them as possible. If they show improvement, then it may be time to reconsider.

This:




and this:





Jerk language. Some dude on IMDB said he had AS and was looking for a girl with AS who saw Mozart and the Whale and he was looking for love which I assume he meant girlfriend. So I decided to email him since that is what he wanted if you were interested and he sent me those two nasty messages so I assume troll. But he was still a jerk and I bet he sent other aspie girls nasty messages too when they responded or his OP smelled fishy to them so they didn't contact him so no wonder no one is looking for love. That is what he wrote in his reply he guess no one is looking for someone for love so I knew he was still single and since I was single again, I decided to try this guy and bam, this is what I got. How naive of me.

It is done the same way as spotting an NT who is acting like a jerk.

ruveyn