Paranoia and defensiveness

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Does anyone deal with this? I am quite asocial and dislike talking to people. I do my best, but I really just want to be left alone.

I can't do banter, which makes people wary of me. I have interests I wish to follow in which the law isn't precisely clear. Even when it is clear I find it very difficult to reassure people that what I am doing is legitimate (taking photos). Which leads to a siege mentality approach.

How can I deal with this? I am paranoid because I see the tide of denormalisation, although others don't. Perhaps I've been reading too much stuff on the Internet but I don't trust people.

Any ideas?

I read too much stuff on the internet too. The comments in newspapers in particular make me feel very gloomy.

Many people seem to be going through difficult times, and are worried about their futures. I think that makes people more likely to single out individuals, groups and activities to victimise. Other people are just naturally prone to forming a tribe, in opposition to those they have low opinions of. The government doesn't help either, they are all too happy to encourage that sort of thing if it fits in with their policy aims.

I feel even more exposed when I go out nowadays. Is the DWP spying on me. Are my neighbours ringing up hotlines about me. Is the council going through my rubbish. Gah.

The thing is though is that people were like that even when times were seen as being 'good'. Perhaps it's truer to say that when people are in rough economic times they take it out on other (innocent) people, activities and subgroups. Anyone who does anything remotely out of the ordinary to them (or enjoys activities or pastimes that are normal and quite harmless) is a drunken lout, a fat, disgusting slob with no self-control, a selfish, addicted smoker who should be refused hospital treatment, a paedophile, a rapist or just plain 'weird'. It gets very draining.

I wonder if it's like that in other countries to the same extent, or if it is a particularly British thing. I would like to see more people looking out for each other, instead of always looking for each other's weaknesses or faults.

It's British and Irish. You don't get it so much when abroad. People are, generally, much more tolerant. I think it's actually always been a problem here but it's been different groups and the level of severity has changed. In the 1950s, for example, it would have been gays. People don't particularly care what it is they hate, they just want to hate something. That's my take on it.

I don't think I'd want to live anywhere else though. I feel very rooted in this country, despite being a complete recluse. I think that increased when I became obsessed with my family tree and managed to trace them back to the 1400s. Oddly I don't see any of my dozens of cousins etc and know nothing about them, but I know the occupations and more of family members that lived hundreds of years ago.

And it is a beautiful country, even if its far too urbanised for my liking.