Being in charge etc

Post Reply New Topic

I actually have another username but some people in real life know it now so it means I can't talk about certain things on here.

I realised something today that was really important. A guy was picking on me at work again. It's my fourth company and I'm just about to top myself if this happens again, but there always has to be some guy who has to try and mention what I'm feeling and thinking and tell stories about it to make me feel bad, what a dick. Anyway I realised something really important - somehow I always need to be in charge psychologically. I'm quite happy for someone else to tell me what to do in work etc but then somehow even though I was saying to them "be in charge, tell me what to do" I was still not doing that in psychological sense. So I decided to do EFT tapping on needing to be in charge. I feel totally different, seems to be one of those big learning moments but things in life are still totally turbulent.

Yes, that is a very important revelation. Most folks don't have the skill to teach someone who needs to be in charge--you can answer clueless questions all day and not get anywhere.

I can't stand being in charge. I hate it with a passion. I'm not leadership material.

That's what I thought but aparently I was doing it anyway.

I prefer being in charge. If I'm making the decisions, there is little question how the day is going to go. Things are done orderly and sensibly. If someone else is in charge, I lose control and the work becomes stressful. At my old job, I was in charge of my department whenever my supervisor wasn't there. I dreaded the days I had to work with her and be micromanaged.

What I don't like about being in charge is having to accept responsibility when something goes badly. Also it can be overstimulating which makes me too "tired" to do anything after work.

Have any of you been bullied like this in the past? I'm feeling much worse now and all the good feelings from before are gone. This is a charity for autism and I thought it would be different to the jobs I've had in the past but it isn't. The guy just sits there, identifies what I feel andf think and then tells stories about it to make me feel bad. There's nothing I can do about it.

I hate being in charge because in the past I was viewed as very bossy and wanted everything my way. Now I prefer to not be in charge and I get very upset and angry when people don't listen to me and when they slack off and people hate b*****s and I will be one if they make me angry and overwhelm me. So I prefer to not be in charge. My anxiety and meltdowns wouldn't be good for me to be in charge. And I tend to be passive because I am too afraid of being bossy and a b***h and making people my enemies so I'd do a bad job being in charge also.

You seem very thoughtful to me, not the kind of person who wouldn't think of others. Most people hate their bosses because they make them feel miserable, at least that's how I look at it now anyway.

I don't like being in charge because I become tyrannical when I am.

Er, sorry, EFT tapping? What is that?

At those who are afraid of becoming tyrannical: You really shouldn't let the possibility of failure hold you back from at least trying something. Just by acknowledging the possibility, you're much more likely to be on guard for it and avoid it than many other people, who have convinced themselves that they're not like that just because they've never had a chance to be.

I'm guilty of it too - but I've always known it. I just work hard to not try and trample people. With age came a small touch of wisdom - back in my twenties I would of told my current self that I sold out... Being able to recognise it is huge.

EFT is an amazing technique for overcoming emotional pain. You can get the manuals from eftuniverse manuals page.



Sold out? Do you mean that you would have thought anyone who allowed someone to be in charge was giving up?

Last edited by Ruddhil on 27 Apr 2011, 8:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

I need to be incharge - autonomous, hate being in a team leader position.

My wife swears by NLP and the tapping thing.

I am only interested in being in charge of things in my own personal little world. The rest of the world can take charge of themselves lol.

No, I mean that I would have thought that I had sold out my values and opinions in deference to placating others. Being 'in charge' requires a fair amount of psychology and ego stroking if you want people to follow you. Unless you have a large standing army. Then, thats a whole other dynamic.

I like to lead things - teams, things that need planning, any situation where no one will stand up and take the lead - that makes me crazy. But, in order to work with many people you need to consider all of their opinions. In the past, I would have KNOWN mine was the best plan and would have ignored all others. Age, wisdom and maturity. My teenage rebellion lasted until almost 30. I finally started feeling like an adult sometime in my mid 30's.

Accidental post. Please delete.