Trauma during Eval

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I am restarting services, having stopped years ago when I was making to much money and I lost Medicaid. I was re-evaluated and it was a bit traumatizing. Along with Autism I also have PTSD and along with it severe depression. Going through the past, diving into how the Autism and the PTSD play off each other hit me in a way that I was not expecting. Anybody ever have that sort of thing happen?

Oh yep. I cried during mine; bringing up certain things was painful.

I came close, but did not cry. I am however going through kitty memes to cheer me at a rapid rate!! But still, going through things I did not want to remember or think about again...ever..... Not my idea of a good time!! It needed to happen, I just was not prepared for it. It was nothing like my first eval.

I suspect there's a pretty high "comorbidity" (never liked that word) between autism spectrum disorders and PTSD -- particularly complex PTSD.

I can still go out and function inspite of the Autism and PTSD, but I have to be careful with where I choose to work.

I congratulate you for having the guts to face that re-evaluation and go through it. I tend to strongly avoid discussing traumatic events and autism except with my counselor for fear of getting strongly triggered. I'm autistic and have complex PTSD and the two definitely play off each other in a way that is different than how NTs experience PTSD - I've been in therapy since my 20s. Unlike NTs, I experience my memories as sensory streams of re-experienced events - images, sounds, smells, etc., like little movie clips. I re-experience all the original feelings too. These memories replay the same exact way every time - they don't "soften" or change meaning or context like NTs' memories do when they work on issues in therapy. I have lots of memories that I haven't really interpreted or integrated even yet, and when something reminds me of one, I can be struck and dumbfounded at the unrealized implications, and just processing the old memory can be quite traumatic in itself. And I have a huge very detailed memory back to before 2 years old, back when I wasn't verbal and couldn't handle being touched or fed without panicking and spitting and wanting to bite. NTs recovering from PTSD can draw on social support, which doesn't work well for many autistics. Social interactions are taxing and overwhelming for many autistics and too often lead to being politely shunned or patronized or they can leave the NT puzzled. Through therapy and healing NTs can also learn to see themselves as being normal and having normal reactions to events which were traumatic and crazy - they can effectively externalize the trauma and "craziness". I can't quite do the same thing, can't really see myself as "normal" - I react differently from others - and my parents, schoolmates, coworkers, friends, girlfriends and (ex-)wives have treated me as being different throughout my life. I'm quite sensitive with strong feelings, but also have alexithymia, which affects how I experience therapy or sharing about abuse and trauma in support groups. It does get better over time, but it's different for autistics. Talk therapy is challenging for me because it takes me time to get to feelings and reactions to what is said - it can take hours or days. However I've found that expressing reactions to the trauma through pictures and writing works.