Blaming all your physical & emotional issues on having A

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OK, this will most probably start up a bickering and disagreeing thread (which I don't really want), but I just want to give out an opinion. I have talked about this to a few NTs who know a relative or a friend with AS or Autism, and they have all agreed with me on this one, and I was wondering if other Aspies on WP will agree with me or not. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with giving your own opinion (this is what WP is created for!) but let's try to tone down the bickering (if any).

I wanted to talk about people who are very suspicious about every little emotional and physical problem on having AS or Autism. Sometimes people think that they only have a pain or a bad day because they have AS. I personally don't think that just because you have a lot of headaches or something else common but random like that, it doesn't mean it is caused by having AS. I'm not telling anyone else how to think, but personally I try very hard not to blame all of my emotional problems and physical problems on having AS. There must be other reasons why I am what I am, and not just AS. I am slim and neat because I come from a family who are also slim and neat. I'm shy because my mum and dad are shy people. I'm not going to say, ''oh I am skinny because it must be an Aspie thing'', or, ''I'm shy because I've got AS''. I know a boy with Autism, (but high-functioning), and he is much more confident than I am, and he even has more friends than I do, even though he is actually more Autistic than I am, and shows more traits than I actually do.

With me, I only concentrate on the Aspie symptoms, like special interests, black and white thinking, sensory issues, routine, some difficulties making friends, some of my emotional issues, and some of the certain things I become anxious about. I don't start knocking all these other little random things under my AS category, like having blue eyes, or having ears what stick out, or liking bananas, or disliking certain books, or any of these other random things what aren't in any AS books.
For example, I have sensory issues mostly with my ears, but when I get an earache I don't say, ''oh it's because I've got AS.'' If the earache becomes a problem for me, I go up the doctors to get it checked out and then go on medication for it. If I saw a lump on my leg (God forbid!) I wouldn't just say, ''oh it might be related to me having AS.'' I would go up the doctors and have it checked out. When I get a run of colds for a few months I don't say, ''oh it must be because I've got AS.''

It is just no point in associating everything about you on AS. We are all individuals at the end of the day, and having AS doesn't mean ''everybody on the spectrum likes frogs and NTs don't and wouldn't'' (that is just an example).

And remember - this i my opinion - I am not using it as a fact, since some people on WP have been brought up to believe different things about their diagnosis, but this is just what I think. I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia and AS at age 8, and I was told nothing else but those main symptoms I had listed in the above paragraph, and I was also told that AS was not an illness nor does it cause physical illnesses, and there was nothing else for me and my parents to worry about. I know some people will be against this, but I'm not against anyone else's points. I am just saying what I was diagnosed with and what I was brought up knowing about. I might be wrong, I don't know everything, but I'm not the type of person to think that whatever I say is right and nobody can have opinions against what I say - I am just giving out my opinion on something what I feel is quite interesting to discuss.

I agree with you. Most people with autism have multiple labels, and in many cases the problems we face are more related to some other label rather than to autism. Of course we only have one brain each; but it is important to be aware of these comorbid conditions because in most cases, treatment specific to these conditions is a great deal more effective than treatment for autism in general. Taking autism into account is however very important.

I've italicised the symptoms that are most likely to stem solely from these comorbids. The ones that are not italicised may be due entirely to autism in some cases.

Here are some disorders and the symptoms of them which are most commonly confused for autistic traits:
ADHD: Executive dysfunction, inattention, impulsivity, some fidgeting/stimming, some academic issues.
Social anxiety/Social Phobia: Anxiety while interacting with others; withdrawing from social interaction; lack of confidence; hesitance to interact with one's romantically preferred gender; anxiety-related social problems.
Depression: Low expressed and/or felt emotion, feelings of inferiority or worthlessness, lack of confidence, eating too little or too much, sleep disturbances, some cases of preoccupation with death.
Speech Disorders: Stuttering, lack of fluency, hesitancy to speak.
Tourette's: Some stims.
Schizoid Personality Disorder: Lack of desire to socialize, feeling very little emotion, showing very little emotion.
Epilepsy: Temporary blackouts, zoning out, involuntary movements, unusual sensory perceptions. Not all seizures are obvious. "Staring into space" may be a sign of a seizure.
PTSD: History of being in a situation where one feared for one's life, hypervigilance, being easily startled, sleep disturbances.
Specific Learning Disability: Some academic problems. The most common specific learning disabilities relate to reading, math, and writing.
Dyspraxia: Clumsiness, delay in reaching motor milestones, being extremely bad at sports, injuring oneself often due to "carelessness", poor reaction time, lack of awareness of where one's body is and how it is moving.

I agree with you. Ive noticed that its not uncommon for many of the people who hang around on WrongPlanet.net have this tunnel vision from time to time. I, like you, have a friend on the autistic spectrum(said so himself) and he does not seem to have low selfesteem or fear of social interaction at all. Actually, he is the opposite of that. Hes blunt and confident.

dont rely too much on outside sources to tell you a person blames all his problems on as. Unless he obviously says so himself you never know.
I get the feeling some people try to pin it on me, that you are blaming things on as when you are not trying to communicate that (people like to hear things that affirms their beliefs).

1. You think you can get away with evertyhing because you have.....
2. (me) ... What are you talking about ??

very good list!.....I agree too.................

Yep, really annoying.

"I have webbed toes. Is this because I have AS?"

This is good. Also people without being on the spectrum can exhibit one or more of these too. My family on my mum's side are NTs, but they sometimes get anxious in social situations, and would rather avoid social situations if they can. And I knew quite a few children at school who had learning difficulties, like acedemically lacking in certain subjects like reading, writing, maths and some sports, but this had no effect on their average social interaction.

I blame my coordnation/physical flexability issues on the aspergers, because it seems related to my somewhat slow processing speed. Which from my understanding has to do with the aspergers. But that's about it other then that there is the depression which lowers my energy level and can sometimes manifest itself as physical pain like back aches and such. Also though I am not the most physically active, I smoke ciggerettes and there are other personal choices I make that effect my physical health.

Some things that bug me are people blaming rudeness on AS or saying they are honest because of AS. To me, that's just excuse making. People are rude because they are rude or honest because they are honest. I have known plenty of NTs who are honest to the point of causing others mental anguish and people who are rude because they think it's cool to be rude. Some people burp at the table and laugh out loudly afterwards, not because they have AS, but because they think it's hilarious to do so.

And I hate when I come off as rude to others because of how the aspergers effects my social skills and then being accused of making excuses when I am just trying to explain myself so people don't take my intentions wrong. If I want to come of as rude I will attempt, but if I am not attempting to be rude then I do not think I actually am.

and I personally can't figure out why burping would be rude, its a natural body function.....but thats personal opinion nothing to do with having aspergers.

People are not only their genetics, they are products of their environment. AS is just another aspect of an entire person and the experiences that have helped shape them.

From what I have read here, some have had very tough or even horrifying upbringings because of their AS. I can see where they would blame the troubles in their life on their dx. An individuals ability to cope is also part genetic and part learned. Not everyone has that ability to 'rise above it all'. Self esteem is not always easy to come by especially if someone in their past made it a personal goal to try and strip that from them.

Some of it may be a misunderstanding of their diagnosis - more education may be in order.

Unfortunely I can see both sides of it and, as usual, I will side with compassion. Those that seem the most 'annoying' are probably those that need it the most. (...I am NOT calling anyone annoying... it's just a characterization because I cannot think a a better way to explain it)

But that's a different kind of rudeness and it's not just Aspies who have the problem. This is part of the black and white thinking. Aspies are supposed to be rude, blunt, honest to the point of agony. It's not true. Sure, I blunder from time to time, but I make a conscientious effort to spare the others feelings whenever possible. I don't just say to myself "it's okay because I am Aspie and that's just the way we are." I don't subscribe to that philosophy.

I love this list and agree with it. I'm trying to come at this from separating out my actual AS symptoms from ADHD, as I briefly tried to put everything on that. I am sure a lot of what I had was depression, but when my depression stopped (I do not know for how long, but I am not going to complain) most of my problems continued.



I think it's possible to push this point too hard. Yes, people who are not on the spectrum can exhibit any spectrummy traits, this is totally true and I think a lot of people here are aware of this. But it's pretty important to keep in mind that the reason for a diagnosis is that some people demonstrate enough autistic traits at sufficient intensity to be impairing. It doesn't mean these are exclusive to autism, or that people who have these traits don't find them impairing.

I really don't get why you constantly bring up that NTs have autistic traits. What point are you trying to make?

Well yeah I agree, I certainly don't think that way.....but I have been accused of it which pisses me off because I hate when people completly refuse to see the other side of things. I mean if I come off as rude but was not intending to be rude I do try and see it from the other persons perspective.

OK, here we go...
Well if all NTs were exactly the same as eachother and had no traits of anything whatsoever, they will be pretty boring people. I don't just mean Autistic traits, I mean anything. I hate when people think all NTs are these perfect people with no faults, habits, weaknesses, anxieties, interests, or anything else like that. Imagine if you met someone who wasn't interested in anything, who had nothing to complain about, who was never anxious, who never made any mistakes in their life at all....what the hell would you say to them? Just, ''hello....how are you?'' and they will just say, ''as happy as I am every day. I have no problems, no interests, not even any opinions for or against anything in this world. Have a nice day.'' And walk off.

All the AS traits are human traits, but people who are born on the spectrum show traits to the extreme, (not enough or too much), which can be grouped together to be able to have a diagnosis and come across as slightly different, or, as NTs say, ''weird''. (The social difficulty part is a little different, since it's the main part of Autism), but with the rest of the traits, everybody has them to an extent, but I'm NOT trying to say that everybody has AS. I'm not explaining myself properly, but I'm doing the best I can, and I'm trying to explain that, (for example), routine changes. When a routine changes for an NT, they still notice it, don't they? They don't just walk straight into a new event and think, ''oh just like any other day.'' Most NTs who I know like a certain routine each day. They go to work, come home, have dinner around 6 o'clock, then relax in the evening. Others get into a routine where they go clubbing on Saturday nights. And some have a routine where they walk to the shop on Sunday mornings to get a paper. Mostly the supermarket is packed on a Friday or Saturday, more than any other day in the week, and that is probably part of most people's routine, doing their shopping on this particular day. Others go to the shop to get their shopping in bits, rather than all at once. So all that is sticking to a routine to a certain extent, but a person on the spectrum most probably be more strict with their routine, for example one must do this at exactly this time and if it is changed for any reason they will become upset or angry. See, that's one example. Here's another: noise. Why do you think a lot of people complain about noisy neighbours? Why do you think workmen wear special earplugs when using loud equipment, like drills? See, most NTs sometimes go out of their way to avoid a loud noise, but again someone on the spectrum might excessively go out of their way to avoid loud noises, like I did at school with the bell. When the bell was about to go for break-time or lunch-time or home-time or whatever, I just had to get out of the way if I was under a bell, and my watch was always set at exactly the right time so I knew exactly the very second the bell would go, and be ready to get away before it goes. NTs don't do this at school, but the bell probably has made them jump sometime in their school lives. Do you see what my point is? It's all to do with general speaking.

Think of Alzheimer's. I don't have it, you don't have it, no-one else in my family has it (except one relative) - but we all forget things, and we all become confused, but that doesn't mean we've all got Alzheimer's, or even any dregs of it. But it's still normal for anyone to forget things to a certain extent. Think of irritable bowel syndrome. I don't have it, my dad don't have it, my brother don't have it, my mum don’t have it. But - that still doesn't mean that everyone who don't have it will never get constipated at times, or the runs at times, or gassy, or feeling sick, or indigestion, or stomach-ache, does it? Everybody gets those to a certain extent (even I do), but that still doesn't mean I have anything to do with irritable bowel syndrome. But a person with irritable bowel will exhibit those symptoms to the extreme, enough to show up an issue.
And yes, there are some differences with our social understandings, between Autistic people and NT people, which are pinpointed and considered a difference to the norm.

That is what point I'm trying to make. I hope I have explained myself clearly. Neurology is a very complicated thing.

Either what you are saying is something that is transparently obvious to me (because this is a tenet of most psychological and neurological diagnoses - that they involve normal human traits taken to extremes in particular patterns, and I have observed this with all kinds of conditions) or I am completely not understanding your point, because I don't see many people seeing NTs as perfect, flawless beings.

But I think of like... I mentioned once I always wear sunglasses because of my photophobia - and you informed me of the rather obvious fact that a lot of NTs also wear sunglasses all the time. I am not sure how that was relevant to what I was saying, as I wasn't saying anything about anyone else, but that I wear sunglasses because light hurts my eyes and gives me headaches. I mean, if I had said "NTs never have trouble with bright lights" then sure, but I didn't.

This is why I don't understand why you keep bringing these things up.