Does anyone forgive easily?

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28 Mar 2011, 3:37 am

I'm one of those people who tend to forgive a person easily which in a way is a bad thing but because my heart seems to tell me not to.

Even if a person was to really annoy to me to the point where I want to snap, I seem to actually forgive and forget what happened and so on.

I don't know if I'm the only person that actually does, do you?

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Verdandi
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28 Mar 2011, 3:55 am

I forgive a lot of things pretty easily, sometimes against my better judgment.

It's not something I generally regret, though.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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28 Mar 2011, 3:59 am

I forgive most things effortlessly. However, I do not forget.

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28 Mar 2011, 4:06 am

I have decided to just not care for others outside my children, significant other and myself.

i am not sure if this is a good thing or bad. It works though

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28 Mar 2011, 4:38 am

I think people with asperger's are way more forgiving than their NTs counterpart because of immature amygdala, the part of brain which processes emotions. We do not have faculty to understand how much wrong is done to us. I had conduct disorder as a child and I would not forgive unless I forgot. Even having has conduct disorder in childhood I became forgiving as an adult but later my innate tendencies took over and I developed anti-social personality disorder. Now I am a mean person and I think every one of us should realize when they are being wronged and get out of relationship or take revenge in a systematic way, as NTs do, if lets say the guy is your colleague. I believe that we will not get respect from most NTs unless we stop forgiving for no reason and show NTs that we are worth getting respect.
NTs have innate tendencies to judge people from their action and we act like lamb then we are asking for getting slaughtered.

pensieve
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28 Mar 2011, 4:58 am

I'll hold a grudge to the grave.

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28 Mar 2011, 5:04 am

pensieve wrote:

I'll hold a grudge to the grave.

How do you take revenge because one needs to be socially smart to avenge. NTs remember what wrong was done to them but they do not continuously think about it, unlike us, they get over it and when the right time comes, and again requires social smartness to realize that, they avenge. What is your strategy

Pinchy
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28 Mar 2011, 5:30 am

I am learning to forgive....I haven't told the person that I have forgiven her yet but already I feel freer for making that decision...I admit that I still feel the pain caused by this person and in my head, this person can be pretty mean.

I don't want to hold on and not forgive anymore...Life is too short to be weighed down by so many issues.

CaptainTrips222
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28 Mar 2011, 5:33 am

Pinchy wrote:

For this reason, I wish I could forgive, but I just can't. I think I have a harder time that most NTs.

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28 Mar 2011, 5:38 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

Pinchy wrote:

For this reason, I wish I could forgive, but I just can't. I think I have a harder time that most NTs.

I also think I have a harder time getting over thinking what bad happened to us. I think this is because we tend to have longer focus than NTs. The same ability makes us more persevering, having special interest etc. These are the manifestation of same kind of cognition.

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28 Mar 2011, 5:42 am

I forgive people way too easily.
I find it harder to forgive for the little things than the big ones.

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28 Mar 2011, 5:47 am

emlion wrote:

I forgive people way too easily.
I find it harder to forgive for the little things than the big ones.

You forgave that punch also:). I guess that the reason why many of us, as I used to, forgive big things is that we do not understand their social implications as much as we can for small things. What do you think?

Pinchy
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28 Mar 2011, 5:53 am

It doesn't help that I have a 'video recorder' in my head and it plays the scenes from my past over and over to inflict pain over and over... Reliving such experiences repetitively had affected me badly to the point that I made a very bad mistake some 15/16 years ago. Today I still can't dig myself out of the hole that I dug to hide in. I hope that no young Aspies out there make the same mistake as I did.

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28 Mar 2011, 6:01 am

I think I forgive easily. But tbh it's not really an act of forgiving as a conscious decision though. I simply forget to be angry with someone rather quickly.
Well unless someone hurt me really really badly. Betrayal is the worst thing. Then I find it very hard to forgive and I never forget. I don't try to avenge anything but I cut that person out of my life completely. Sounds bad?...