In your own world (loner?)

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Sorry for asking a lot of questions (I tend to do this) but this website has helped me understand things of myself now.

Anyway what do people mean exactly when they say? "you're in your own world"? I had people say this to me especially in college. I was told I was quite a loner by someone else which was true because I tend to spend a lot of time alone and I often prefer my own company than with being with others. Although I do get on well with others who share the same interests.. However I was kind of surprised because when I am in a group I try to be socialble and get to know people. The same man who said I was a loner later told me people were saying things behind my back, that I am weird, odd etc.I didn't really get why they thought this though? Perhaps because I am detached and quiet at times? Someone once asked me "is it true your dad is a priest" and I said yes he works for a church and the woman said (kind of like I wasn't there" "maybe that's why he's like he is" when I asked her what she meant she never answered or ignored me.

I am starting to realize I am not as normal I once thought.

The "dad a priest" bit might have something to do with a lack of demonstrating typical male "obsession" with discussing women's anatomy (a la alpha male)? I don't know you, but that's how it comes off. They could have said similar things about me.

You're in your own world might be an indication that you're missing friendship overtures from others. You may (if my first statement is accurate) have missed some relationship oriented approaches from women as well. NTs notice these "missed cues" and it "worries" them.

I got the 'weird" label too. Probably because I would often carry a book with me, or when going to a social event, would head for the dog first - to pet it - and prettymuch "circle the party" to identify the boundaries of the premises as well as the general style of interaction happening amongst the people there. Only THEN would I start to interact with the people (though I said hello to whoever greeted me at the door / let me in).

With at least some of them, I think it is more like they are simply verbalizing a thought of their own and giving you/me/us an opportunity to be aware they do not know how to categorize one or more of your/my/our verbal or non-verbal actions.


That is called gossip, and it is nothing other than speculated (verbalized) arrogance or ignorance on their part.


They simply cannot "read" you, and that inability of *theirs* tends to leave them feeling a bit uneasy ... and then they turn things around as if *their* dilemma is somehow resulting from a shortcoming on *your* part.


Phooey. She should have met the children of the preacher in the church where I grew up!


In her arrogance and/or ignorance, she might have suddenly been either feeling sorry for you or suddenly afraid to speak in your mis-deified presence!


If I might be so bold here: You are simply finding out your normal and theirs are not the same. As Temple Grandin's mother once said (at least in the movie): "Different, but not less."

I don't think I am exactly normal, but I am not some sort of alien either. Different sounds about right.

Sometimes people would (joke?) I was a "killer", "cheer up", "smile more" etc even if I felt fine. Perhaps being this is why I was seen as odd or strange.

So you mean they can't put you/me or whoever in a "box" (eg steriotype?)

That box might be labeled "unsorted" or whatever, but yes, something like that ... and I tend to picture many of them in a "box" just slightly larger than their ability to ponder.

I love the fact I can't be read easily. Yes, I know I am chaotic Neutral, I absolutely love it. Silly NTs, they are too stupid to just accept people for how they are.

Wow, that was really rude of that woman. I tend to keep to myself, as well and that sort of loner quality runs in my family on my dad's side.

Thinking of that woman, I don't understand what people want out of us. It's so frustrating.

I think people like to point out those who are different to them. Let's put it this way I seemed the only one that was teased, made a joke out of etc,made comment about etc in one certain college group as well as school. People tend to do this to those who are different somehow. Other wise why would they do it?

I don't care anymore about what people think, I am a loner I always was. I always had very few friends which were never close. Often the friendship was based on having the same interests. I don't hate being with others but I often prefer being alone. I try to be pretty sociable when out but I usually can't keep up the act. I used wonder if I am withdrawn and resereved a lot because I was shy (feared interaction, being with people etc) well I have got over a lot of that fear I would say I am pretty confident these days but my aloof and quiet nature is still there.

I don't think self diagnosing is a good idea but I am just leaving it as having Autistic traits. If was Autistic I would of thought I would of been diagnosed unless it's a light form that is harder to detect. I was diagnosed with Development Dyspraxia (physical and verbal) and Dyslexia but it does seem people with these disorders tend to have Autistic traits and often overlap with Aspergers and Autism.

Being in your own world...well I guess they reserve this for people that are quiet and seem to often be daydreaming. I tend to be alone a lot and may stare up at the clouds when I think of things. For me it's quite true that I can be in my own world. My imagination is so vivid I can spend hours in it and then find it difficult to separate my imagination from the real world.

I get accused of being in "my own little world" all the time, mostly by my mother. For daydreaming and stuff mostly.

I'm only a part-time loner.

When people say this to me, I like to respond with, "Yes, and I like it here."

I've always been a loner, ever since I was little. I was an only child until I was 5 and always just assumed that I had held onto that only-child mentality, until I discovered AS. Then things started to fit into place.

I remember in high school I was sitting reading before school started and my English teacher walked past me and said my name "---, the loner." He smiled as he said it. He was a loner too.

At college I was like that too. Apparently one of my classmates after having a conversation about Stephen Donaldson books with me when were assigned to do a task together told the other guys that there was "more to me than meets the eye." I always used to sit by myself at break and lunchtime and no one really got to know me. Weirdly, I've got to know a few of those college mates better because I've added them on Facebook. It's been a couple of years since I left college. I communicate better by writing things.

I had applied for a new job a few years back and asked my then manager what my strengths and weakness were to prepare myself for an upcoming interview. He said the only thing that really annoys him about me is that I was "part of the team, but not part of the team." I would work toward the same goals as everyone else and I was easy to get on with, but I was always in my own world and not part of the team. Oddly enough, I am closer to him now that I don't work with him and we email each other from time to time. I think he always wanted to be friends with me, but I would never let him in. I didn't know how to.

I just feel more comfortable on my own.

Me too. I do have a hard time making small talk, but I can do it if I need to.

This used to be said to be back when I was still in school. I guess it means doing your own thing and ignoring everything else around you. Doesn't everyone do that?

I have never been completely anitsocial but I typically never become attatched to a "friend" or people in general. If I move house (which I have done a lot growing up) and never see that person again it doesn't bother me.

I don't know why but say in college at break I might talk to a few people but if they were ill or something that day it wouldn't bother me because I liked to spend lunch alone and I often took a long walk sometimes I just wanted to be alone from everyone and actively avoided my group (people who were in my college class). Even before I was a teenager I pictured myself a loner, without kids or a wife. Yeah I am wierd but I can't deny I have had a loner nature and mentality since I was a kid.

I definately know that my loner nature is brought around by multiple factors, the biggest one being I can't even keep any amount of interest in them. I just drift whatever which way, even if we were talking about one of my special interests. I just can't focus on and keep even a hint of interest when interacting with people. Also just feels like a very inefficient use of my energy to even bother 99% of the time. It isnt anxiety or anything, I just simply can't be bothered to interact, and if someone does in fact keep bugging and bugging for said interaction, lets just say my fuse starts burning, and before long I snap at people and just want to get the hell away and crawl back under my rock.