Therapy session from hell!
I was diagnosed less than a month ago with AS and comorbid anxiety. Today I went in to see one of the psychologists who gave me the diagnosis for a session with ISDP therapy. I had no idea what that entailed, but for all of you thinking about going, trust me--IT IS NOT FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE! He sits there and harrasses you until you tell him what he wants to hear basically. And what he wants to hear is that you have rage beneath the surface that makes you want to attack people. Wouldn't listen to a word I said, all he wanted was for me to explain emotions and react to only one emotion at a time with a reaction that he thought I should. I cry sometimes when I am frustrated and angry, so when I was angry a bit of a meltdown escaped and I burst into tears, and he actually told me not to cry. When I was supposed to feel sad, he got irritated that I couldn't cry then for him. I said a lot of stuff, just to get him to move on. Not only that but for the first one THIRD of the appointment that I paid dearly for, he scolded me for not being able to make eye contact with him, telling me I was too disconnected and couldn't move forward with him. I was not feeling any anxiety at all until he started insulting me about that continously. FINALLY, I took all the strength I had and spent most of my energy and attention to keep my eyes focused on his shirt buttons so they wouldn't be darting around so much. At the end of the appointment, he said, "see? You're making eye contact!" Huh? I was looking at the shirt buttons! *sigh* It was PURE torture! Really, should the doctor who diagnosed me with AS be spending so much time harrassing me for not being able to make eye contact when that is one of the diagnostic criteria of the diagnosis?? Clearly he should have known better and not made me feel like I was some piece of crap on the bottom of his shoe. Never going back! Never never never!
aspie48
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,291
Location: up s**t creek with a fan as a paddle
not goin back would be a good idea. also don't try too hard to make yourself normal you have to relax. that is what doctors don't understand is that you shouldn't be harassed when you are trying to learn. really the best way to learn is to copy nts and just imitate the things that you think are good and not too hard to do. i have always found that i am best at self teaching.
WTF?
I googled "ISDP therapy" and only found stuff about a pharmacological treatment. Google, however, suggested that I look at "ISTDP therapy," which sounds like what he was using. Here's the page for the Southern California Society for Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy: http://www.istdp.com/technique.htm.
While I can see the technique described as useful in some circumstances, I am baffled by the thought of using it to treat AS. It sounds like he is applying this particular therapy in a highly inappropriate situation.
And I wouldn't go back to him, either.
"Yes, I do." Then you leap from your chair and start mauling him with your nails and teeth.
Seriously, I'm sorry about your experience. I don't know why some people are allowed to practice.
I was referred for some psychodynamic psychotherapy several years ago, before I was diagnosed, and it was horrible. There was a similar theme that my problems related to failing to release some pent-up rage or hurt, and having to dig and dig into all the trauma and misery that I could remember until I needed to go punch a tree. The therapist repeatedly recommended buying a punch-ball or using a hammer to smash things, so I could feel this untapped emotion and bring it into the sessions.
With another therapist I did something like critical incident debriefing, which was as unemotional and detached as I felt like making it, to recall the very same incidents and explore what they meant, with the therapist's perspective on what happened and what other people intended. The therapist used a tape recorder so that I could listen back to the sessions, and ask questions about them the next time if I needed more explanation.
The psychodynamic stuff made me feel awful and did not help at all, whereas the critical incident debriefing was tremendously helpful.
The psychodynamic therapy I receive is nothing like that.
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Last edited by Moog on 06 Apr 2011, 5:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Ugh I wouldn't go back to him either. I have had a couple experiences where they were trying to get me to say something they wanted to hear and I have always refused to say it to shut them up. Then they would say what they wanted to say as if I had given in and said what they wanted to hear.
I probably would have demanded my money back the second that I felt that I was supposed to give some sort of set answer (and/or spoke in a very furious manner). It seems like an unprofessional approach to someone with an ASC.
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I'm female but I have a boyfriend.
PM's welcome.
Not going back is a very good decision. This guy is just trying to control you, and you won't learn anything if they are spending all their time trying to establish dominance.
Find somebody else who will actually agree to teach you useful skills that you can apply to your real-life problems.
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Yes, it was intensive short-term dynamic psychotherapy. And that was what he was trying to do, trying to get my to dig until I found feelings that he thought SHOULD be there....and when they weren't, he became very irritated. He was acting almost bully-like. And when I reacted in a, I guess, non-neurotypical way to the emotions, I was scolded again. Horrible experience. And no, I definitely won't be going back. I wish I could get my money back, but I am assuming that asking (even demanding) for it will turn out to be fruitless. What a waste of time. One thing that can be said for ISTDP therapy: yes, I have anxiety---I did not go in there feeling anxious, but I certainly came out feeling it!
This therapy was popular in many forms over the last 40 years. I have been party just through associating with some rough gangster types, its how they talk to each other.
If you come back with humour and similar meanness your stock of credit rises, and the volume of attacks reduces as you are no longer an easy target.
I found it beneficial to be more aggressive, as I am very passive.
I think you did really well not to deck him!
I've had similar experiences with ordinary behavioural therapy and on one occasion was physically restrained from walking out and told the person concerned to get off me and get out of my way or they'd regret it, luckily they moved. I didn't go back.
If this man knows you have AS why was he trying to force you to make eye contact that makes you very uncomfortable when he knows it's a given trait. It's like trying to make someone with no arms pick something up then have a go at them when they can't do it. Some of these 'therapists' seem to have a very sadistic streak to me and I think they don't feel they've done their job or made headway unless the patient leaves as a crying, broken down wreck. They seem to think its progress...I seem to think it's cruel.
I wouldn't go back unless I felt it was worth the money to go once more and point out to this tosser exactly what I thought of him and his methods in great detail. That might be money well spent.
Tiffinity.
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The biggest Aspie-distra in the world...
It's really hard to find the right therapist, but once you do, it's worth it.
I was forced into therapy for most of my life, and most of the therapists I had were a lot like yours. One of them would kick me out of his office if I didn't want to talk about exactly what he wanted me to talk about. I would tell him straight-out "I'm not comfortable talking about this now, can we talk about something else?", and he would just say no and make me leave, since he said I was wasting his time. Since I was a minor at the time I was forced to go back every week, and finally after weeks of this I got so frustrated I just broke down sobbing in his office...and he kicked me out of his office for crying.
It took me until last year to finally find a therapist that listened to what I wanted to say, and was genuinely trying to help me. So ditch the guy you saw, and just keep looking. Therapists are just like other people: some are good, some aren't so good, and while maybe his methods worked for some people, they obviously don't work for you. So cut your losses and move on to a better therapist.
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