Becoming incoherent after meltdown

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I have discovered that my speech becomes quite erratic as does my posting style online if i have had a meltdown. It is like i can't let out coherent phrases and my writing and talking is jumbled and all over the place, it is almost as if i am drunk when i read back over it later.

I also notice i become really literal and hurt lots of people. This is awful because i can't control it. It is the worst when i have tried to make it better with alcohol which has resulted in people never talking to me again. Because i am aggressively trying to get my jumbled messages across.

I end up boxing out the world and even the smallest amount of interaction causes extreme anxiety attacks.

Please tell me i am not alone.

I'm the same after a shutdown, my inner monologue completely dissapears and everything I do is of the moment, not thought ahead, and when I speak I don't know whats going to come out of my mouth next. People know just to leave me alone when I'm recovering from this.

I feel my anger can cause a disconnection in my brain between coherent words, adequate speech and the ability to move ones fingers smoothly over a keyboard.

My meltdowns leave me spitting and sputtering incomplete and poorly thought out words. I just say whatever too regardless of whom it may offend.

Shutdowns are worse. The most severe shutdown leaves me without speech and days after it's happened it could interfere with my comprehension and grammar skills.

I am also left incoherent for about 4 or 5 days after a meltdown. It sucks. I am only just getting over one now. I have to go to the bank tomorrow and i feel like hyperventilating just at the thought of taking my son and daughter into the city. I always have people stopping me and asking questions or staring and it is too much. Plus DS will end up melting down over the crowds as well.

Also an old friend wanted to take me out to play pool and i have turned him down because of the stress of it. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Does it mean that meltdown is neurological rather than psychological, since it leaves you incoherent? Is it kind of like "self administered shock therapy" and your body NEEDS that shock therapy on a regular basis? And then, just like with a real shock therapy, you have after-effects after each session? So, if no one pisses you off, would you have to do the meltdown anyway, because of that addiction?

My meltdown wasn't caused by anyone pissing me off. It was a string of things starting with stress for a test, trying facebook out for size and ending with a local bus route changing.

I become incoherent for a few hours after I have a meltdown or shutdown. My filter disappears and I post anything that comes to my mind. I've apologized in the past in apology threads. I just do it in a more discrete manner now.

I'm left unable to speak. And I'll need time/space to rest as I'm usually physically spent and feel weak. I can recover relatively quicky but I need to gather my senses first. Post-meltdown, my senses tend to almost disappear as if I'm numb and I can feel even disoriented.

It's not an addiction. It's the most useful way to get all your stress out and usually we have no choice in the matter. The autistic brain has a dis-regulated limbic system which usually helps to control emotion but because we can't control emotions very well we usually have a meltdown in some way, be it crying, yelling, throwing things or just trying to keep it all inside.
If I wasn't under stress I would not feel the need to have a meltdown. In fact I have gone many months without having one.

I don't have meltdowns. I get pissed off, but to my knowledge I have never had a meltdown. I do tend to shut down and I am not really sure what happens after I shut down...I guess I'm just more quiet than usual. I do tend to have a lot of difficulty speaking coherently when I am angry...but honestly I have speak fail regardless of my mood. I am more coherent when I write, regardless of how I am feeling. Writing > Speaking. It would probably help if I were to try speaking more slowly...I probably wouldn't stumble all over my words as often.

Still, could you have been pissed that HUMANS were involved in those, and how "irresponsible" these humans are? In my case, if I have some inconveniences like this in India, I would have meltdown; but I would not have any meltdown if similar situations occured in USA. Why? Because I am pissed at Indians for being this way, and not at Americans.

Yes HUMANS are the cause of my problems.

Maybe I collect bus time tables and memorise routes and then when i get to the bus stop there was a sign advertising the route wasn't in use any more. Hmm no that wouldn't upset someone.

Yes I will blame getting stressed over a test because i can't get the basic principles of a topic on HUMANS too.

While we are at at it i will blame HUMANS for making me stressed when i try to converse in real time.

If you wrote Aliens it would have made more sense.

I guess I'm lucky I can't even post after a meltdown. I usually take a full three days to feel normal again. Last one I was hyperventilating I was crying so hard, went nonverbal, coherent speech just impossible. The words just aren't there to put a sentence together. It's the only time my head is naturally quiet. I couldn't say much of anything the next day either - it all came drifting back slowly. Felt like a dull headache for 3 full days - like I had wet sand in my head.

And, of course, the SO thinks I'm just holding a grudge and not talking to him. And I can't find the words to explain what happens - and if I did he'd probably have me locked me up for being crazy. He's pretty sure AS is a mental illness.

I need time and quiet and dark after a shutdown, though I do not know how long it takes. Used to happen in school ,though. That would suck. Now, like i had a quasi meltdown at work because of a lot of things, and I spent time under the desk. It was a bad use of work time. What was I to do. So, I did some data entry, which is usually relaxing.

Roman, that is a very interesting thing you said.

Shutdowns and meltdowns cause my filters to go away. I am exhausted for days afterwards normally. Sometimes I have to sleep for 20 or more hours.

I haven't had a real melt down in a very long time. I just shut down. I probably am in a mild shut down at some point every day. When the stress builds too high I put things on auto pilot and retreat. But my filters do go away. I'm not much fun to be around when the brain fog sets in so if pressed I'm likely to bite.