Rejection!

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here is what happened 4 years ago at college regarding a student with AS

this guy who we did not really know that well since he did not attend school with us previously joined our social group through other people etc..
the guy who joined the group told me he had AS so that is something we had in common
back then my friends were 16 or 17 years old
my friends litterally ran away from the guy with AS on purpouse for a joke a few times
they made fun of him becuase they reckoned he never washed and dropped hints about it and he also wore the same clothers every day
one day one of my friends said to the guy with AS out of the blue "Have you noticed how no one here ever talks to you?" the guy with AS looked around for suppourt from others in the circle but everyone just kept silent then my friend said to him "f**k off and find some new friends"
he really had no other friends in the college
after he left our group for another year he went around to other friendship groups trying to befriend them but after a while they rejected him as well. my friends even joked about the fact he kept getting turned away from every group.
he annoyed the life out of some my friends
Described as weirdo by an NT friend of mine

Do you think that was unfair treatment of the guy or not? there was another guy with AS in our group from who our school who had better social skills and that we knew from school but he was not rejected from our circle. . and another guy with AS a year later form school who kinda annoyed some members of my social circle but he was not rejected like Joe was. I guess Joe just did not have a very likeable persona about him and infact he annoyed me a few times with his behaviour.

What do you think make of the situation? His nickname amongst our friends was "Cling on Joe"

As someone who always gets rejected everywhere I go despite my best attempts to be kind to people and to not annoy them...I am on Joes' side lol. I always manage to annoy people but it's certainly not done intentionally and being rejected just because you get it wrong and irritate everyone is really very hurtful!

Well i woulden't say my friends are bullies.......... ironic becasue some of my friends are a bit nerdy and virtually all of my social circle were bullied by the cooler kids back at in school. shame they have to pick on an aspie just becuase there insecure and have weaknesses themselves. I guess people with AS can get bullied by NT geeks.

Sounds like high school kids.

Yep, thats all it is.

Also if you want to help him out, tell him to wear clean clothes and shower. Stinking is TERRIBLE for social acceptance. I sort of feel sorry for him as it happened to me a lot in school, (I didn't stink though) but we all get it you just have to get past it.

I still get it as an adult.

Sorry that this guy with AS seems to be having a difficult time making and finding friends around the college but as you know, sometimes having not so much friends is actually better than having too much friends in some ways.

Lets just say if you were in so much trouble, you'd find that you would be getting some help to get through than you would do when you have too many friends and that thought even used to scare me until I actually managed to find true friends that I can rely on and they would do the same for you.

You yourself may need to confront him about what would be a problem but you would have to tell him nicely though, this may actually help and don't be afraid of what your NT friend think of it.

Helpful information?

Well, no one should have to be friends with anyone they don't want to be friends with.

OTOH, if that group found out later that Joe hung himself in his closet, would they feel guilty? Maybe that's the test of whether they treated him harshly but fairly, or went a little beyond, into just being a**holes (or they could just be sociopaths and not care at all, of course).

There was a guy at my high school who killed himself. About a week before I had shot a rubber band at him. Probably not a big deal in the big picture, but I did feel like sh** about, later. As small as it was he probably didn't need that tiny little extra bit of crap in his life at that time.

Not everybody's going to want to be friends with everyone. Having said that, I do agree that rejection hurts.

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Well, no one should have to be friends with anyone they don't want to be friends with.

OTOH, if that group found out later that Joe hung himself in his closet, would they feel guilty? Maybe that's the test of whether they treated him harshly but fairly, or went a little beyond, into just being a**holes (or they could just be sociopaths and not care at all, of course).

There was a guy at my high school who killed himself. About a week before I had shot a rubber band at him. Probably not a big deal in the big picture, but I did feel like sh** about, later. As small as it was he probably didn't need that tiny little extra bit of crap in his life at that time.



Funny you should say that because the guy with AS that was rejected sprained his arm falling off a chair and because of that he did not show up at college for about a week or two. I asked some people where he was and they said "Who cares he could have been run over by a car" or something along those lines. It was a long time ago so cannot remember completely clearly.

Ironic that my friend told him to "f**k off" spends most of his time being unsocialbe these days playiny World of Warcraft. also he has acted quite unsocial towards me and my friends and has done things like refused to go out becuase he would rather play World of Warcraft. Some of my friends have displayed pycopathic tendancies and behaviour esspecially the guy that told him the AS kid to "f**k off"

Your friends are dicks.

Hang with them long enough and you will turn into a dick to.

Yep and the guy who told Joe to "f**k off" took a big s**t on the floor in the college restroom on pupouse How is that for weird?

Yeah, your friends sound like um, what's a polite way of saying this? The kind of people that I would only hang out with if I were being paid a 7 figure monthly salary to do so. Even then, it would probably have to be 8 figures to put up with people that d**kish and I'd never do any overtime and quit after a few months before I completely lost it. And out of my circle of NT friends, I'm the understanding one who can put up with the most douchery before finally putting my foot down.

I'm not saying they had to hang out with him, they didn't like him, they had no obligation to. But c'mon, ditching someone as a joke? That's such a 6 year old thing to do. From what you've written about your friends they just come across as jerks, and not unintentionally - which I could understand - but like they enjoy being jerks. I just hope you're careful Jamesy, because from everything I've read of those guys so far, they're perfectly capable of turning on you if they decide they're bored and I would not want to see you hurt by them.