Is it possible for me to have AS?

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Is it possible for me to have AS?

All my life, I've had trouble fitting in, but my problems were chalked up to being "gifted" and therefore bad at socializing. But lately at work, I've had ever-increasing difficulties understanding the people around me, which is what caused me to research what my particular oddity might be called. After searching through many syndromes and disorders, I found Asperger's and decided it fit every one of my difficulties very well.

But after the short phase of thinking it fit me like a glove, I started to realize there were a few differences between aspies I knew of and myself. For example:

-I've worked as a cashier for about six years (since I was 18 )
-I've worked as a cashier supervisor for one year (with mixed success)
-I've had a girlfriend for almost 5 years and have lived with her for 2 years
-I don't seem to have any sort of near-obsessive "special interest", unless you count video games (I could probably still tell you nearly everything about World of Warcraft, even though I no longer play)

When I consider how aspies think and feel, I definitely see the same things in myself, and any problems seem easily described by aspie traits. To be clear, I see nearly every aspect of AS in myself except the things listed above. Still, I have these nagging doubts that tell me, "you can't possibly have AS; look at all the social things you've done. Look, you don't even have the encyclopedic knowledge of an aspie."

All that to ask: "Is it possible with those conditions to still be an aspie? Or are these things more-or-less deal breakers?"


*And I realize an official diagnosis would help tremendously, but that option is not currently open to me.

Sorry sweetie... that's not really alot to go on.

Why not try some of the online AS tests listed in the stickies. They'll give you a better idea.

None of those things you listed are 'deal breakers'. Some with AS can manage all those things just not smoothly.

...but the WoW might be a sign...

Might be a sign of what?

As for the tests, I scored 123 AS / 69 NP on the Aspie-Quiz. I don't remember my AQ score, but it was pretty aspie too. On an empathy test I took, I scored an 8, which is apparently really, really low.

And yes, "not smoothly" describes my work performance quite well.

The Wow was a joke... lots of aspies fixate on games.

Dx or not, it won't change who you are.

Those things you are having doubts about... there are people here with confirmed dx's that are in upper levels of management, working in psychology, in social work, probably in most professions you can think of. lots of aspeisw are married. Have kids. Have their special interests wax and wane. Personally, I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. I know alot but many many subjects but can't profess to have mastered any of them. AS doesn't necessarily preclude any particular activity or ability. Everyone's expression of AS is different with different strengths and weaknesses.

That said - is it possible for you to have AS with those suspected 'deal breakers'? Absolutely.

Is there a particular reason you want to know for sure?

I agree, it is not a whole lot to go on. Some of what you said sounds aspie-ish, and some of it really doesn't. It is possible though, or it could also be that you have a similar disorder such as ADHD (ADHD is not a Pervasive Developmental Disorder like autism; however, it does have several similar symptoms that manifest, particularly if it goes undiagnosed/untreated).

None of the online quizzes are really accurate, but they can give you SOME idea. Also, even though ADHD and AS have some overlapping symptoms, they have different reasons behind the symptoms. A lot of people have both AS and ADHD. I don't. I have very severe but still high-functioning autism. On the AQ test, I scored 48. For ADHD, even though I have some similar-looking symptoms, I got "low chance of having ADHD".

Here is a screening test for ADHD...why not take that and see what you get:

http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/adhd/index.html

Just attempting to diminish my personal anxiety over not knowing if I have this or not.

As for other disorders with or instead of AS, I definitely have a strong leaning towards ADHD and lesser traits of OCD and Bipolar.

By the way, I forgot to list a couple other things that have made me doubt my having AS:

-I may or may not be hypersensitive to anything. If I am, I have a high tolerance and never (or rarely) get overloaded.
-I do not seem to have any social anxiety, though that may be because I tend to block out people around me and view them as objects moving around me.

I scored 73 (high probability of ADHD).

I guess it is always possible but you may want to run it past a therapist etc to see what they think.

Personally I am diagnosed with Social Anxiety, Depression, Agoraphobia and a past diagnosis of OCD. Aperger's or an ASD has never been considered by any of my therapists so I have never been tested for it. However it does cover many of my symptoms.

On the online AQ test I scored 36 the last time I took it and got 154/200 for Aspie traits and 62 NT traits on the other test.

Someone once said to look at ADHD so I did just try the ADHD test and its says my score is too low for me to have it.

Do I have an ASD or have I been diagnosed correctly?....I am trying to figure this out myself.

However, unlike yourself I am presently unable to work due to my social difficulties even though I was an A average at university (academics used to be my talent! I had an outstanding memory for them and have never revised for an exam in my life lol. It's not done me much good though, not yet anyway).

OCD, bipolar and ADHD are all common comorbids of AS.

And these two examples above also cannot 'rule it out'. In fact, viewing <i>'them as objects moving around me.'</i> is commonly ascribed as an Aspie trait.

I only have mild sound issues. I don't get overloaded or have meltdowns on a daily basis. My challenges are more in the emotional arena. I do not have social anxiety - I can go out, talk to people, walk up and randomly start conversations... but that doesn't mean I'm successful in my interactions. There are Aspies that like to socialize - but they just aren't very good at it. Doesn't mean we all don't enjoy it or seek it out.

Whether you are an Aspie or not - would the dx somehow put your mind at ease? Would it somehow change your challenges or how you approach them or feel about them? Just trying to figure out the root of your anxiety... a dx on piece of paper isn't going to change the challenges you face day to day now. I'd like to be able offer some words that could bring you some peace of mind.

Just so you know - I'm an adult, married with a daughter and I am undiagnosed. I'm fairly certain a dx isn't going to change anything about me. I'm certain, in my case, that AS fits. Putting a name to it has allowed me to find a like minded community and the support I need. A dx may be in my future but only if it can help me address issues I have unsuccessfully been trying to fix by myself my entire life. Knowing it's not just me was a huge relief - a doctor couldn't have given me that to me. It was something I needed to find on my own. I'm hoping you can do the same.

First, about your points you mention in the first post: a lot of us are able to do that if we get a handle on our issues, in my current mental state I probably couldn't work as a cashier but that can change, a lot of people here are married and such, we're all different.

and I think you need to consider how much a diagnosis will benefit you, are you really having trouble now? If so then a diagnosis can make getting support much easier.

The main reason I want a diagnosis is that I know that I WANT to have a name for my problems. Because of this, I worry that it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy and I'm reading more into it than is actually there. Even though so much fits so well into AS, I have to stop and wonder if I'm interpreting things that way because I want to be able to say "I definitely have this."

There's also the sense that, without an official diagnosis, I can't adequately explain AS to people around me who doubt me as being a self-diagnoser.

Ironically, I understand that over-thinking things like this is a very aspie thing to do.

When I started as a cashier, I had a lot of trouble engaging with customers, but I had an excellent manager who worked through it with me and I'm now great at conversation with strangers at a casual level (as long as the conversation doesn't go beyond "how is your day?" and "how 'bout that weather?").

As for having trouble, that's the main reason I started researching mental disorders. I am constantly scolded for being condescending towards the people I supervise, even though I try to always be respectful.

How about assuming you have Asperger's and reading up on books meant to help Aspies with social relationships, such as "Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships" by Dr. Temple Grandin and Sean Barron?

Tough to say, but depression, social anxiety, and OCD can all present themselves with AS-like symptoms, without the AS. That is one thing the psychologist said to me...they recognized I had severe anxiety, but they were trying to see where it comes from (if it came first and the AS symptoms came later or vice versa). They realized I have AS, and anxiety is just a symptom of that. I actually don't have anxiety is the sense that I do not feel fear in large crowds of people as long as no one is looking me way (I often don't like big crowds due to noise sensory issues though). It is only if I have to interact with people, and even then, I don't necessarily feel the fear if someone is there to do the talking and be a support. I don't have social anxiety as was previously though, I have anxiety-like issues that have arisen from years of have undiagnosed autism. The same could be for you, or perhaps you fit into some AS characteristics due to the diagnoses you have been given....

It can be very hard to know where exactly it stems from, especially as my problems are so long running and complex. I had problems in childhood (around age 7) and the welfare services at the time wanted my mother to take me to a child psychologist but she would not take me. I was academically bright but had trouble socialising, was bullied at school and prone to some behavioural problems at home (bad tantrums...my nan referred to me as a problem child because of them). At 13 I saw a therapist for a few sessions as I was still suffering from the same problems (including more tantrums during which I was prone to hitting myself, trying to choke myself and banging my head against a wall...pn i do not self harm at other times) and was told that I was bright in some ways but very emotionally immature. Nothing was really done to help and at 16 I ended up at a therapists office again after I had downed a bottle of pills in temper which landed me up in the A and E. I tried to explain that "I can't mix with people" but it was ignored in favour of focusing on the suicide attempt (which was not premeditated and was done in a fit of rage) and the depression. The therapy was not helpful and I was eventually put on antidepressants in my late teens.

I did work in my teens but was unable to hold down jobs due to my social issues and my inability to be able to mix with other members of staff. I was also bullied at work and ostracised.

In my early twenties I had a brief issue with alcoholism to help me socialise but I was still unable to mix and make friends. I sobered up but it left me with a panic disorder I did not have before that. I landed up back at the psychiatrists office, this time labelling my inability to mix as social anxiety...they paid more attention to that but still insisted that sorting out the depression would help me to socialise. They prescribed more anti depressants and sent me for relaxation therapies.

The antidepressants helped with the panic attacks but not much else. Relaxation therapies also failed to help.

I attempted a university course but again, despite excelling academically, failed to be able to mix and make friends.

Shortly after that I did develop problems with OCD in the form of intrusive thoughts and rituals (usually repeating actions) but I no longer get the distressing symptoms I used to get with that and the obsessions I have these days I prefer to refer to as Passions because I adore them...it's everyone else they seem to annoy lol. I was also prone to being obsessive about my hobbies as a child although some were a little different to the norm (such as collecting bank forms at the age of 5 and lining up toy cars instead of playing with dolls lol).

Again I saw a psychiatrist but the attention was placed on the depression in the belief that it would solve all of my other problems.

After that, I took to socialising on the internet and 10 years later I have still failed to form friendships. I formed a few relationships with men that I had met on the internet but they were short lived. My need for routine and my quirks drive them up the wall and around the bend and my temper tantrums are difficult for them to cope with and understand.

I now have support in the form of 2 support workers who help me with practical issues and am on disability. 1 of them seems to think I misinterpret people and is concerned because I am still prone to tantrums where I no long self harm but which, at their worst, manifest as screaming fits where I scream at myself for hours (complaints from neighbours alerted her to them as I tend to try and conceal them from people), and the other asked me if I had ever been spoken too about asperger's disorder so I began to research it.

It could be that I am just one very screwed up chick, but I have had these problems all of my life, medication has done little and therapy has done even less and quite frankly at 35 I am getting sick of going around in circles and going nowhere!

If the therapies were working I would doubt my existing diagnosis less...

From what you said about your childhood, it is quite possible that you have AS. Like you, I was also diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. They gave me therapy which does normally work for people with those things, yet nothing ever worked for me. It was only my current psychologist who is amazing, btw, that admitted her methods were not working, and said there must be something else underlying (sure enough, I do have ASD!) I think you should go get an aspergers evaluation done specifically. If you are found to have it, they can tailor your therapies to work with your ASD as well so you can finally start to make some progress.