How do you feel about gossip?

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I HATE gossip. It seems like no matter where I go I am surrounded by it. I do a lot of people watching. Observe behavior. Try to get an understanding of the social mechanics at hand. I hate seeing people talk pleasantly to someone and then, the moment that person leaves, start gossiping about that person. Calling them weird, or making snide comments about their sexual orientation ( all conjecture, mind you). It makes me really angry with the people gossiping. I also feel bad for the person about whom they gossip because that could easily be me, you know?

I just experienced that in one of the offices at my school. And what is worse (in my opinion) is that it was initiated by a person in charge. That strikes me as very unprofessional to be nice and sweet to a person's face and then, the moment that student's back is turned, make fun of him or her. Your job is to help, not to make up sh*t about that person to whoever will listen to you! What do you all think?

I see what you mean, blackcat. However, I am sometimes (okay, that's a bit of an understatement) tempted to vent to others about how I feel about a person.

Gossip is wrong and can quickly evolve into sheer evil. I really wish certain people would think before they gossip; the damage caused can be irrevocable. I know Neurotypicals can be highly social, but their downfall is their gossipy nature.......


Socrates Triple Filter Test

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary ...".

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?".

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued." You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

There is a German proverb that sums up gossiping nicely; HE WHO TALKS TO ME ABOUT OTHERS WILL TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT ME

That's excellent, LabPet.

I hate gossip too. Even if it is true, most of the time it's none of anyone's business because it in no way affects them. I can't even stand celebrity gossip. Why do people care what they do with their lives?

I can only imagine what people must say about me behind my back. I just assume if someone is nice to me, then they're nice to me, which is probably false.

The only time I talk about other people is if they have done something to hurt me or have affected my life adversely in some way and I need to vent about it otherwise I keep my nose out of other peoples lives. What they do is their business and I am not much of a people watcher. I am not really fascinated by the lives of others and tend to be more interested in things or subjects or theories etc.

I find standing around gossiping or listening to other people gossip boring.

I suppose gossip is part of human nature. It must have roots in sharing information between people that is helpful to know. Unfortunately it's become a cancer in our society. Gossip has become normal, celebrity gossip has a whole industry, and its all nasty, unpleasant, and soul destroying. Even previously sensible, serious newspapers have fallen under its spell. It ruins lives.

Being a loner, I eavesdrop a lot. Generally I find execrable the conversations among people in the streets, buses, trains etc, Now cell phones must be added. They are mostly about diseases, dysfunctional relationships among partners and sisters, brothers and parents. Not that I have not been myself sometimes a culprit. Sometimes you don't know how to evaluate a person and you look for some solidarity in the problems you have with that person. But you must tread very lightly or not tread at all if possible in this. You should be able to make a judgment by yourself. or make no judgment at all and rest with a question mark. You not always succeed resisting the temptation to defer the judgment to a panel of two or more, and the more they are in the panel the more ugly it is.

I don't care for it. I don't care what people think of me. I never understood the gossip rule and now I understand a little but why people say it's wrong. Maybe because it can ruin a person's reputation and make people be afraid of that person and change their opinions about them because of your bad experience you had with that person. I know when I hear lot of bad things about a person, how mean they are or how judgmental they are or how they don't like someone over something silly or lame, I don't want to be around that person either thinking they could hate me for any silly reason or be mean to me for no reason or judge me over something. Even hearing one story about someone can make me not want to be around that person because I wouldn't want to be their victim. Maybe that is why?

To me venting is gossiping because you are talking bad about that person right and behind their back?

Everyone gossips.

One more point; it's a lot easier to tolerate an annoying person if you can find someone else who also finds them annoying too.

It's actually possible to even like them as a person so long as you know that you're not the only one who finds certain aspects of their personality grating. Otherwise, it can be frustrating as hell. Perhaps gossip evolved as a way to stop us killing each other?

It bores the .... out of me. It's one of the main reasons why I don't want to be sociable.