Audio interview

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A while back, Ghosthunter promised to post the interview he recorded with his grandmother, about ages 2-12...

We finally got the audio working and I figured out a way to host it. So. For anyone who's been wondering how the Ghost sounds in real life - and anyone who's curious to hear the back story - here it is.

If anyone has trouble with the links, let me know, I can probably fix it.

Mp3 format: http://studentpages.scad.edu/~jerbac20/gh_childhood.mp3

Wav format: http://studentpages.scad.edu/~jerbac20/gh_childhood.wav

Quicktime: http://studentpages.scad.edu/~jerbac20/gh_childhood.mov

Or the original .aif file... I could only get this to work on a Mac:
http://studentpages.scad.edu/~jerbac20/gh_childhood.aif

I am a bit dissapointed. I would think you folks would
have questions. I posted this because I once told you
a long time ago I would post it, and it should give added
insight on why I am adverse against censorship.

I have lived in a silent world, and being condemned to
it is not a experience I would want to repeat. I thought
most of you were my friends, but no one tookmy side.


The few who supported me are few. But thanks, for
still being there.

The most that let me be censored insilence, you know
understand through this audio, I have lived in silence
to long, censorship was the final insult.

Getting back to the positive....
Any questions about my past. I thought this audio
would give insight and be a treat.

sorry,
I guess I was wrrong!

GH,

I do have a few questions but I would rather bring them up privately becaue you may be insulted by what I have to say. It is something though that I picked up in the first 5 minutes of the recording.

BTW,

It sounds like based on what your grandmother said, you picked up language normally (in the normal progression) once your hearing was fixed. I will explain that to you later. It takes a while because it involves theory from child development.

I'd say it's pretty wild that you were able to go from being def to having your hearing back.

Maybe I'm missing some of the past threads about your life or the specific meaning this all has but while incredible, I'm starting to realize we all have our own stories. Some of us have seen a lot of drama, some haven't. Some have beaten unbelieveable odds, others either didn't or may have been lucky enough not to have too many sheer struggles. I used to be a bit histrionic about my own life but I'm really getting to the point where I feel like it's overrated, especially when i realize that other peoples lives (AS or NT) have had just as many deep moments, connections, and what not.

Sorry if all that really isn't saying much but it's probably the best I can add to this thread.

If it isabout how I interupt and overpower thoughts,
this has plagued me for years. It is so much ofmy
character. Some call it ovrdramatics, other annoying.
some see it as a vocal strength.



That sounds cool. see you tuesday.

Sincererly,
Ghosthunter

She explained they drained fluid in the area behind my
ears. She wasn't more specific.



The reason for this exploration is to understand how
we evolved, and thenmoved on with our lives.

The problem was the early years give clues that we
forget sometimes. That is and was the point of this
recordiing.

Can you describe your childhood and how you evolved,
where were the youth based clues? I am curious to
find out. This is part of sharing.



That cool though, I sincerely say thanks for responding.
Cool.

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

I've found that exploration of these things is good the first time, to purge it - it may look like histrionics, but the end result makes it worth it. And if it needs to happen - why not celebrate the process? - at least to the extent that it makes life feel richer and not dissolve into ennui. Why write off intense moments as overrated just because everyone has them? It's not about a competition, IMO - it's about getting the most out of existence.

That said, I know it's a fine line between valuable self-exploration and drama for its own sake. How do you decide where to draw the line when it comes to yourself?

my hair hurts

This recording is 27 minutes and 14 seconds long and almost 26 megabytes in size! In all honesty, you seem a little self-obsessed in this interview. I'm only listening to it because I'm browsing WrongPlanet.net as I listen to it.

I'm thinking I should record a half-hour-long conversation between myself and my mom. I doubt she'd be party to that, though!

Also, GhostHunter, your voice—and this is just my impression—has a bit of a gay lilt to it. I don't mean that to sound offensive; it's just an observation.

nvrmind

Last edited by rpm2004 on 05 Sep 2005, 2:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

It is cool you heard it. I wanted facts before she dies.
she is 84 now and no one lives forever.

the gay lint in my voice is beyond my control, but I am
glad you noticed it. It may be what others heard.

Yes, I am self-obsessive. and that is because i have been
put aside for others gains. Thus, i trust no one but myself.
as I got older I try to trust until.....

that is the nature of my self-obsession. Taking care of my
needs. Describe your childhood? if you chose todo so.

Thanks for responding,
And cool!

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

I hope others respond to this recording and
find it helpful in understanding how the past
and present coorolate.

So thanks for posting your opinion. 27 minutes and
she is 84 and who knows how long she will live.
So I appologize for the length of the recording.
it was neccessary. Too many pieces misssing
otherwise to help me understand myself.

So thanks for future responses and awesome,
opinions and views are welcome, and may my
nakedness of my past help you understand
your characters and past and it's relevance.


Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

btw ghost, that bit about interrupting and overpowering thoughts, I used to have that and back when I was 19 or even 20 or so I still think I was kinda bad with it. Over the past 5 years though with enough practice I've gotten pretty good with it though. For a while though the biggest thing was at least working out timing issues with people and trying to get my conversational flow and habits in a place where they could follow it and anticipate when I needed to talk - one of the key things is keeping it short and if they go down the wrong track just giving em a second and then reguiding em once they've said what they want. I know from experience it's a pretty nasty and embarassing feeling when your talking to someone and they wanna start talking at exactly the same time you do, when they can't tell when your done with a question, etc.

I understand this both from having an informative conversation recorded as a way to remember her and the urgency of retrieving that information before she dies.

I can understand the need to become more self-aware. I was only mentioning my impression that the recording seemed self-obsessed from the length of the recording. By the way, I did not listen to the entire thing but only up to about Minute 14.

I've been thinking about writing a post about major events in my childhood to see if other aspies have any similarities for a little while now. I'm wondering if I share anything in common that may be pathogenic of Asperger's syndrome in at least some cases. In my opinion, though, birth trauma, genetic factors, social isolation, and later traumas to the head may have played a role in the development of the autistic traits I present.

One other thing I'd like to mention is that I have not been following all the "histrionics" (as some other members described it) of what has been happening between you and some other WrongPlanet.net members, particularly Alex Planck. I am aware of some of it, but I have not read literally every post on the matter. My opinion is that it was completely understandable for you to react with panic and rage when you lost your WiFi card. I am not implying Alex is to blame—I don't even know enough details of that to place blame on anyone—but I can understand your emotional reaction to this personal crisis perfectly.

I agree with you, I am intruptive. That is due to others
playing with me for their pleasure. it is a bad habit now.

I see your point. It is a good point. Too bad i was eay
to toy with and tolerated it at a younger age. It was the
only way to get my thoughts across from verball abusers.

So thanks for explaining yourself. And thanks for posting.
I am appreciative of that.

was you scenerio similar, "those who verbally toy with
others." and it's side effects?

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

Well, not so much being cracked on as being ignored. I had a lot of people just pretending I wasn't there, if I started talking to em they'd almost instantly turn arround and start talking to someone else, lots of fun stuff like that. I started thinking I just took too long to get my thoughts out or like I was just boring em.

I learned though that I could get a much stronger upperhand on people who did wanna toy with me just by keeping things minimal but even moreso its been about gathering self-assurance and building a cohersive edge to my personality. When someone starts messing with you and you give em a toxic half smile that says, all on its own, "Lol, you really think you can buck me? That's cute kid" then people start backing down. When you run into NT's who are strong silent types but seem like they have enough of that low-end torque socially speaking to steamroll anyone who messed with em - pay attention out of the corner of your eye and try to figure out what it is, what they're feeling, what kinds of vibes they're sending, and figure out what would work for you (we definitely don't all look the same, don't all have that alpha-guy visage, and I myself am stuck with that Christopher Robin type pretty christian boy look if I shave my beard and let my hair grow - its been tough figuring out how to harden my facial expressions). Usually people who are like I mentioned have a real high level of self-control, assert it all the time on themselves, make sure they're almost always on firm ground when they speak, and really push themselves to the limits in building their social presence in a way where they're style almost seems like some chi-driven martial art.

Then again it also takes building many other angles of your personality to be more consistant with that as well but for me at least I feel like it's been worth the effort. You may even have a lot of things I didn't and had to work for but just never gave it much direct thought from that angle - lol, seems like most other aspies I've met have.