Not sure if I'm an aspie.........how did you know?

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Hi I'm new, and a 34 year old married with 3 kids. My ds6 has been diagnosed with mild autism.

This has been plaguing me ALL my life, and I have a need to find out why I am the way I am.

As a child I would only speak to family members - anyone else I was mute till about age 6. I had an advanced vocab early on. I never spoke to my kinder teachers for the whole year. I started school early, and could read proficiently from age 4, reading novels from age 6. Really good at English subjects, but not much else! Obsessed with animals. Fussy eater from age 2, have never eaten meat since. Had a select few foods that I ate, much to my mothers disgust. Took the same sandwich to school every day for lunch for 7 years. Remember spinning around a lot.
Had friends at school, but anxiety around ppl I didn't know well.

As an adult I feel that I don't fit in to the world and I am struggling with that. I am ok at conversation with one on one but in a group I am totally overwhelmed. I have never held down a job. I am extremely scared of being in a workplace and the expectations they will have of me.
What do I do from here? How do I start to enjoy life?

You sound a lot like me(besides the meat thing).

In the know topic

All aspies are different. I did not read at age four, and I was not shy or mute, as far as I know. I was fearful of others, and confused around groups of humans, as I still am. I still have fixed interests, dislike reading fiction, preferring factual material. Being social is exhausting. I am a single parent and I have three children, two of whom are grown, and two still living with me-- oldest daughter aged 37, son aged 19, and youngest daughter aged 16, all NT, albeit the youngest has ADD.

I just knew I was different, and after losing yet another job I qualified for diagnostic testing 11 years ago to determine the cause, if any, and was diagnosed as AS.

For me there is only one way to enjoy life with AS and that is to work with it not against it. I find that so long as I have a routine or at least a plan I can cope without losing my head. I am often anxious but fixing a weekly routine and only planning other things around that helps to make things a lot more predictable and a lot less anxiety provoking.

Even things like social events, I always plan what I will do or say if i want to leave early and what I will do when I am there, like cooking food or giving presents or playing games. Try to make a plan in advance what to do with my time to minimise spontaneous activities or not knowing what to do and freaking out.

If you feel you need help to learn to understand yourself you should see your doctor and get a referral to adult psychiatry because it can help a lot to understand how your mind is working!

Good luck

I was diagnosed. Talk to a psychiatrist about it.

Thank you! I'll read up a bit more and think about getting a diagnosis.
It's kind of nice to not be alone!

How do thers cope with a lack of empathy for others? I have appropriate responses for situations, but have no feeling about them, unless it has happenned to me before.

Not just any psychiatrist. You really need to find one that deals with autism in adults.

You also would do well to research the heck out it so you know as much as possible going in. It really irritates some professionals, but they each have their own biases and may not be receptive to you.

Since your son is mild ASD, and it is known to run in families, it would not be surprising at all to find out you were also on the spectrum.

I'm not sure the Aspie brain is programmed for that over the long term.

As far as the first question goes, once you know what AS is, if you have it, I don't see how you could NOT know. The real shocker is when it finally sinks in that all those common little quirks, behaviors and thought patterns you've always assumed were fairly normal actually appear really, really strange and eccentric to everybody around you.

Have you taken any of the online tests?

Aspie Quotient Test <<


Asperger Self Assesment Test <<

As the previous poster suggested, try some of the online tests, especially the AQ Test. I discovered I might be an Aspie when I first did this test. When I saw a psychologist for an assessment (someone who specialised in AS and was recommended by an expert), he got me to do the AQ Test again and also got my wife to complete it about me (her scoring of me was almost the same as my own score, and she has never seen the test before).

Also, you might read the book "A Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" by Tony Attwood. It is a detailed description, and you will probably recognise yourself in many of the chapters.

I learned over time. The more I read and heard about autism the more it seemed to fit. When I came across autistic bloggers writing extensively about their experiences, I knew, but went with denial for a few more years.

Thanks again.
Yes I do realise the importance of seeing someone who specialises in autism. It took 2.5 years to get my son diagnosed, and a team of various specialists. Soooo frustrating.

Will take those online tests and report back later. I have always known there was 'something' wrong with me, but never able to pinpoint what it was.

Have AS child home today - just started school and middle of the week is 'rest day' for them - not for me though! He is out of sorts as he was getting in to the routine of school.

First test I got 36, second test was 24.

Those are both within the range that indicates the possibility.

There's a thread here called "Scientific tests" or something that has several quizzes that might help

Thanks Verdandi.
Did some of those online tests and am an extreme systemizer.
Some of the questions I had not consciously thought about before, but made me laugh realizing that they were things I do or think!
I guess the answers are becoming clearer to me! I thought that knowing what was wrong would bring relief, but it is making me upset.

I feel confused, then saddened then I eventually just deal with it. I have empathy for some things and a lack of it for others.

I never actually felt different as a child but I was. I was just so in my own head that I never noticed how different I was. In my early 20's I started to find out just how different I was and still am.
I would barely speak to anyone outside of my family too.

iIs like saying "how do you know if you're blind? Believe me, if you're an adult and an aspie, you've probably known it all your life. You may not have know the word for it, but you knew you had the condition. Read up on Asperger's Syndrome and the characteristics of an aspie. Something will click inside you if you are indeed an aspie. Look back on all the screw-ups in your life -and if you were an aspie there were probably quite a few --and if it all fits together now, you just may be an aspie.