Do you sometimes insult people on purpose?

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Or use sarcasm at someone, stuff like that?

Not anymore.

I use to say mean things to people. Maybe it is because I am not the best at picking up social cues and people would have become a little irritated with me and finally (nearing the end of their own rope with me) used sharper language or said something not-so-nice to me. I guess I just thought that this was the way people just treated each other.

Anyways, after a little over 20 years of adult experience, I am more conscious of using gentler communication. I also clarify with people, using gentle, neutral language, when I am unsure what they are implying when they engage with me.

On the rare cases when someone is actually being abusive to me (nope - it is not always "just in my head" - sometimes otherwise good people have bad moods and there are just basically mean people out there); I just say, "I am sorry that you feel that way."

No need for me to insult anyone.

This creates a much more peaceful life for me (and everyone I engage with)

Vindictively with intent to harm? No.

But sometimes there is the whole trading insults routine that people do. I'll play that game sometimes.

I've got enough problems.

No. The joking insult thing is just another layer upon interactions which are already too complex for me. And making others feel bad makes me feel bad, so doing it with the intent to hurt someone would just backfire.

I used to do this all the time when I was younger because I was a little ****. Now I realize it's not worth it.

That's a great attitude to have. I get cross in my head and insult people if they are mean to me, but I am to scared to ever verbalised it.

I think your way is much better and will try it next time. Thanks.

I like to see myself as a sweet and gentle person. I don't harm people to be vindictive. If I feel that I've been insulted by another person long enough, I might give them a little taste of their own medicine. After that, I'll make peace with the person or ignore them. This has only happened three times in my life.

If someone is rude or insensitive to me, my family, or even they ar picking on someone else, I'll usually reply with sarcasm. People used to running at the mouth with the intent to harm simply aren't shut up enough. This is especially satisfying to do in defense of others because the bully isn't expecting outside support for their victim. When one person stands up, other people sometimes find the courage to stand up. When a bully realizes the 'whole' disapproves they slink away. I find only the real nutjobs keep spouting hate. Those are the ones you call the cops on.

No. We already have enough problems being misinterpreted as jerks as it is...

I know how to do that quite skillfully, but just as if I were a Karate expert, I don't use it unless I absolutely have to.

Charles

No, I'm never mean or rude just to be mean or rude. If somebody is being a jerk, I'll shrug it off, or "play along". Eventually jerks give up trying to make fun of me.

My filters are somewhat weak to start with, and then when I become overloaded I pass the "aw F-- it" stage and end up semi-voluntarily saying something that I know is offensive just to get out of the interaction.

Other times I might say something on purpose to experiment and see how people will respond, and then realize after the fact that it was insulting. Once I passed along a letter written by someone else that turned out to be insulting when I was making a bid for a postdoc position in a university. I thought "what have I got to lose?"

Using sarcasm is insulting someone?

Is that way yes but I have my sense of humor and it's meant to be funny. I also use it to get my point across but it is not to be insulting. I also use it when I am frustrated like "Can this day get any worse" and I don't think that is insulting anyone. Or "oh great" when something bad happens and I don't think that is insulting anyone. I have also done comebacks to jerks if that counts as sarcasm.


And yes I have insulted people on purpose, I tend to get that way when people upset me or pick on me. But sometimes it's not worth it.

When I do the TRADING INSULTS game, the other person almost ALWAYS accuses me of being a CUTTHROAT!

Case in point: I was playing bid whist at the clubhouse I go to; one of my opponents was this woman I know! OH, you'd LOVE her LAUGH!! !! She sounds like GROUCHO MARX :lol:

ANYhoo...THIS night I allowed the noise and clatter of the club to affect my game some (as per usual). So she says to me, "YOU been playin' this game all these years and STILL don't know how to play?"

And so I look at her as my turn to play a card comes around and I take my card and SLAM it open-palm on the table saying, "Does THIS LOOK the F^(( like I can't PLAY this $#!+?" And in the process, I set HER BID!

And SHE looks at my partner and says, "DAG...I was JUST KIDDIN' He ain't have to get all MAD." This is a rough chick! A real BROAD, this one; she came up the ROUGH side of the mountain; NOW she goes all soft on me I thought we were JUST JOSHIN'...I was waitin' to hear that INFAMOUS LAUGH!

Yes, if someone is insulting me sometimes I get pissed off and "have a go at them" in return. It's pretty interesting that when I am TRYING to be offensive no one notices or reacts...but when I am NOT trying to offend I end up really upsetting people. I did make a girl in middle school cry once, and I was being intentionally cruel. She beat me up and verbally attacked me on a regular basis and I got sick of her sh*t. I'm not proud of it, though. I still feel bad. Never expected her to cry like that. =\