Did a diagnosis help to stop putting yourself down?

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I don't have a diagnosis of Apserger's, but I do have a bipolar diagnosis (since about the age of 13 or 14 and I'm 28 ). I only started reading about it because I thought my ex-boyfriend had it. Well, I just kept reading more and more, and feel at home with this website and now I believe I have it... especially when I look back on my childhood.
Anyway, I'll try to get to the point. Despite the fact that my ex and I insisted on total honesty, could open up on the phone and with email things didn't quite click when I was down there visiting. I kept putting myself down, thinking I was having an issue with the bipolar disorder (or just overtired-I have an inconsistent work schedule) and frustrated that I wasn't sticking with any of my goals, unsure of what I was doing with my life, not understanding why I felt untrusting with him despite that he would always encourage me (if it benefited "us") in any of my pursuits...the list goes on. Anyway, I would just end up in a spiral of negativity Well the more I read about Asperger's and watched videos on youtube with people that have it, the more hopeful I feel. I don't just feel like a failure, more or less I just feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
Have you experienced a sense of relief after a diagnosis? This is asked of anybody, but especially if you weren't diagnosed until you were an adult. Thanks for your time

Self diagnosed. But yes.

Hmm...should have added at least one more option - "I don't have a formal diagnosis."

I still put myself down after the diagnoses. The label never meant to me "give up, it's who you are."

I'm self diagnosed also, but now that I know about it I no longer think that there's something wrong with me. Although I suppose that doesn't make any sense, because having AS means that there is something wrong with me. It just doesn't seem that way anymore. I can now say that I'm not crazy, weird, antisocial or any of those other things; I'm just an aspie.

The formal/informal diagnosis thing is fairly irrelevant to me. If you've figured out you have it, then you probably do. It's a simple fact that any Aspie who grew up before 1994 would have never been on anyone's radar in terms of autism. IMHO, self-introspection and studious analysis of what Aspergers is all about is at least as credible - if not moreso - than what a psychologist/psychiatrist who hardly knows you has to say after a few hours of observation. Particularly in adulthood after you've learned all sorts of coping and masking skills. Seriously.

Anyway, I like the release I felt after finally putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. I was vexed by so many things for a quarter of a century and felt so "outside the box" in terms of what I felt and sought in life. Now that I've discovered where I fit in the autistic spectrum, I feel like everything inside of me makes perfect sense. Aspergers is a square hole for this square peg. So I answered yes.

I don't have a formal diagnosis, but recognizing that my traits may be more than just personality flaws has been a huge help. It helps put a lot of those failed social interactions into perspective. It's also helped me be a lot more honest with myself.

I'm not a flawed NT, I'm a normal Aspie.

Still working on the being kind to myself as my realization is still fairly new but the initial weight off my shoulders was tremendous. I was able to forgive myself for decades of failures.

Yes. Before, I felt a bit like a self-sabatoging freak of my species. Having a firm reason for my many of my feelings and behaviors helps to keep my self-esteem from spiraling every time I get blindsided by what goes on inside of me. Knowing that I'm not the only one in the world to experience such a bizarre and unexplainable life has helped me to establish a firm(er) base upon which to build and proceed from.

I was able to stop putting myself down, when my mum told me that I was on the high end of the spectrum.

Yes. It helped me to stop trying to fit in and made me feel better about not ever knowing what to say to people. Anxiety subsided and I focused on what I was actually good at rather then struggling to fit in. That was a long time ago when I thought that. Now I'm at peace with myself.

I actually put myself down more because of the diagnosis, it makes me feel inferior to other people. The public image of autistic people is very poor and it seems like having an ASD diagnosis gives people the excuse to treat people with autism poorly. Also, I feel that people would like me if they knew me and even knew my autistic traits, but wouldn't like me they knew I had a PDD-NOS diagnosis.

@ocdgirl123

I like that you said, "I feel that people would like me if they knew me..." it shows that you do value yourself quite a bit...the first part of your reply is more worrisome. I hope it isn't long before you can focus on what is positive in the world (like this online community), but I don't really have a clue as to what you could be going through at school or with your other diagnosis. Though I've had mixed, mostly negative, feelings with my bipolar diagnosis that I received as a teen, so I may have gone through something similar.
You have much to offer the world. <<There have been times when I didn't believe the previous statement myself, but simple acts like kind words, deeds or a smile can go a long way. Take care!

I was DXed at the age of 25 so this is not the usual story here. For me being DXed had helped with one thing: belonging. I no longer felt as if I was the only one like that out there, I knew that there are enough people like me to warrant a term.

I had been miserable since I was 8 years old, and completely self-loathing almost nearly as long. I did not know I have autism, nor could I feel the differences. But with the tortures through school, and I do often realize that I am unable to connect with people....I hated myself more than anyone else could possibly hate me. When I got the diagnosis, I had already been pretty sure about it for several years, so the diagnosis itself wasn't a shock. I had a few emotions to it. Part of me thought, "this is real. This isn't something I made up to excuse me for the past. I really am going to be different for the rest of my life, and I will probably be alone forever." On the other hand, for most of my life, I thought I was "normal" but just so unlikeable. I thought I had a defective personality, and repelled people somehow. I hated being me. Now, I know there is a reason, and I have come to accept it a lot more. I don't have depression anymore, I don't hate myself (though there are things about me I hate...mostly looks), nor do I fantasize about jumping off the bridge any longer. I will still probably be alone for the rest of my life, but I know now that even if I am "abnormal" I am still natural, and there are a lot of other people out there with similar issues who I just haven't had the opportunity to meet yet.

Worse and better.

I've realized now that there's a level of socializing that I just can't "sense" going on, past statements that don't make sense unless you take them non-literally, or obvious facial expressions, or relationships of power (those aren't too hard for me nowadays). I still vacillate between "everyone is lying and I can't trust anything" and being unable to conceive of a lie. That can be pretty painful sometimes and makes me frustrated. I also seem to speak English like a foreign language much of the time... I'm always fussing for the right word, because the one that pops into my head won't make sense to anyone but me.

It's kind of hard. I keep to myself and can follow all of the really basic social rules, so that I come off eccentric and absent-minded rather than disabled. My sensory overloads aren't too bad nowadays. But I feel so tired all the time. After intensive social interactions (20 minutes of presenting, or an hour of talking to someone one-on-one where I have to come up with information on the spot), I go home and fall asleep for 12+ hours. It's difficult, because I always try very hard not to come off autistic. I'm happy if I can get to "just weird."

I guess the only "good" part is that I no longer feel like I'm the only person like this. I still feel pretty alone, though, and don't know if I'll ever have a boyfriend again, or make a close friend. I went out with one guy and it turned out so badly that I almost just don't want to try. There is only so much abuse I'm willing to take. And, by my standards, I've never had a close friend. I guess other people would call someone a close friend, but I have a hard time doing that when they used to beat me with a ladle or insult me all the time.

Mostly, I talk to professors and my parents. Part of me says "Well, go join a group for disabled people or something!" but I don't want to. I'm too stubborn and proud for that. I don't want to be part of a subsociety and feel like I'm not allowed to play with everyone else. That hurt too much the first time around.