Has anyone from CPS ever showed up on your door step

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after you had your first baby?

I have been wanting to ask this but felt embarrassed about it.

When my son was born, someone reported me to CPS because they were "concerned" and I suspect it was someone from the hospital because none of my neighbors know I have AS and no way would anyone in my family report me for no reason nor my husband.

Someone did show up but couldn't find me so I assume I must have been at my aunt and uncle's when they did. But Last month someone finally showed up. But she said it was something they do to all new moms when they have their babies to see how things are going. At first I thought someone reported us for child abuse because our baby would scream sometimes like he was being abused when I'd give him a bath so I figured one of the neighbors must have thought he was getting abused because of his crying. But no the lady said it was something they do for all moms and remember what the social worker told me at the hospital about having someone come by. But about a week later we got a letter and it did turn out someone did report us so the lady lied to me about why she showed up and the letter was sent to us telling us the case was closed and it upset my husband. I called and asked the lady about it and it turned out someone did come by but couldn't find me and they got the report right after I had my LO. But since it took them that long to show up again, that just shows how slow CPS is when they get reports before they act on it but the lady said they weren't that concerned when they got it. The main concern was about me not being able to read the cues from my LO so they contacted CPS.

I wonder if it's common in anyone with ASD because of our problems or disability and lot of us have had other labels before the AS one.

maybe its worth having a doctors letter on hand at home explaining exactly what you have to show in case of future issues.

People can be dense in the head. This lady I used to work with years ago had CPS called on her because she let her son play in the back yard on a summer day with no shoes on. Some people will call CPS for no good reason at all... all that does is tie up workers with stupid cases while kids who really need help do not get it. It annoys me.

I never had CPS called on me and I never had them come visit to check on me or anything either. I had my kids back in the 90's though (I was also not diagnosed with aspergers back then) so I have no idea how much laws and rules have changed. I had been diagnosed with multiple things at that point in my life, but the hospital did not know (I do not think they did anyhow) so they would have not reported me. I also did not get disability or anything back then, so the state would not have reported me either. I really have no clue if that is standard procedure or what though. I should ask my SO when he gets home for lunch... he works in a school and they end up dealing with CPS a lot.

Anyway... I am glad that they came and went and can see that you are more than a capable and competent mom.

I guess the letters CPS means something different in America. Reading that I was wondering why the Criminal Prosecution Service was visiting you!

i wonder if you could attribute this to feminism? ie if you're not treating the kids in the standard empathetic way expected by women, that things turn against you?

CPS = Child Protective Services

No, it is not routine for CPS to check on all new mothers. Honestly, it sounds as if you may have a discrimination case there.

How very odd... One assumes you can read cues from your baby well enough to take care of her; and that's really the important thing.

Apparently these people don't know much about AS. The reality of it isn't that we "can't read cues"; it's that we don't naturally learn them. By adulthood many of us have made a study of it and can do it adequately, though we have to think harder to do it. You're a mom; of course this is important to you. It's silly to assume that you won't take the time to figure out what your baby is saying, even if it's a "foreign language" to you. I remember helping with my littlest sister--she was born when I was already a teen--and learning her "language" to figure out what she was thinking and feeling. I actually read a bunch of baby books and looked at the pictures of the babies in them, reading the captions to check how my knowledge of faces applied to babies. Have you tried that? I'm not sure whether you have time to read, of course, what with taking care of a youngster. Lord knows my mom was tired enough.

Regarding her crying when you bathe her: Have you tried some of the tricks that work for Aspies and baths? For example, bathing her in a warm, steamy bathroom may help it not to be such a shock when you put her in the water--say, bathing her just after you have had your own shower. And make sure that the water is warm enough, and not too warm--are you testing it on the inside of your forearm? That's the usual way to do it. Also avoid strong-smelling soaps. Most baby soaps don't smell too much and won't irritate the baby. Most kids learn to enjoy having baths... Perhaps there are things you can do to make it more enjoyable for her.

I haven't heard of that, and I would think that the only reason they might, is if the new mother is already under some kind of public aid for the mentally disabled, and if her records show that she may not be fit as a mother. Otherwise, an accusation of neglect or endangerment has to be filed and confirmed by police or a doctor, in order to cause the CPS to get involved. In other words, if the baby's doctor sees bruises, or the baby acts scared of the mother, or if the police are called to a home for noise, drug use, or violence, or something like that, a report to investigate the home may be ordered. I don't think that the CPS would just show up because you have Asperger's. They'd get sued quickly by the ACLU if they did that without cause.

Charles

Grrr!! !! I know how you feel. I didn't have that situation exactly but I had a similar situation. One day the a cop showed up to investigate a report of "an unsupervised special needs child". My daughter was stimming quite wildly in the front yard which is fenced in as she has done for years and years and years. I was not sitting with her in a chair in the yard as I used to do when she was a little kid but I could see her fine from the window. She doesn't need me to sit with her, "special needs child" though she is. She's never stopped stimming and scaled the fence and run into the street for all these years and she isn't about to start. The cop took a look and was on his way. He said he understood completely because his nephew is autistic.

All of my nearby neighbors have known my daughter since birth and have become quite accustomed to her sitting in the yard and stimming so I suspect a new family that moved in down the street. But there is no way I'm going to confront them because I could be wrong.

So believe me, I know how it feels to have busybodies call the authorities (whatever sort of authorities) because they don't understand the situation. That's why I don't suspect the long-term neighbors of calling. They are all quite familiar with the situation and unfazed seeing her sit and stim without me hovering over her.

Luckily in both your case and mine, the authorities who were called were quite understanding of how there was no actual problem. They know real trouble when they see it, but are required to respond to every call.

someone on the street heard my mom calling me "trish" and misconstrued it as "b***h" They called CPS and claimed i was being emotionally abused, when i was simply being called by name.
I went to a preschool that tried to teach us to act like animals in one lesson for some reason, and after school, I decided to put my dog Lady's leash around my neck so someone could "walk" me. The leash was a little too tight and my mom went hogwild trying to get it off of me before I strangled myself, but the preschool, thanks to my echolalia, they came to the conclusion that "mommy did it" because they set me up by asking who let me go first. They called CPS and claimed my mom was strangling me, when it was what that damned school was teaching that started it.
And lastly, we arent on speaking terms with my paternal grantparents or their family, one of them does drugs, but they would constantly make up lies and call CPS on my parents because they wanted my mom and dad to suffer.

uhm. What cues does a baby give? You feed it and wash it and change it and play with it and take it to the doctors and put it to sleep. It should be common sense, not reading cues. f**k, I should never reproduce.