Do you get upset at unplanned events?

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Those of you who prefer a strict routine, do you get overwhelmed or annoyed at an unplanned event, unless it was already planned in advance?

Thursdays and Fridays are usually my days off from my volunteer job, and normally I just like to relax at home and forget that I exist to the rest of the world. But if my uncle (who is normally at work) had a day off and suddenly came into my house one late afternoon and said, ''do you want to come to the forest for a picnic now? I will pick the kids up from school on the way,'' I would feel a little overwhelmed by the sudden event - even though I love having picnics at forests on hot sunny days, because it's relaxing. But normally I don't go to forests for picnics on a weekday afternoon (well, I don't normally go anyways, but if it happened on a week-end day I would probably be more happy with it).

Also, if I'm with some of my female relatives and we're having a girly chat about things, then suddenly some of my male relatives came knocking round, I would feel overwhelmed too. It sort of disrupts the atmosphere, and they change the whole atmosphere and the conversations completely onto things they like. If I knew they were coming, I wouldn't mind so much.

When I was a child, however, I used to love unplanned events, especially if they were surprise-like. I remember when I was about 10, it was a Friday evening, and after my mum got back from shopping she said, ''I saw my sister and she's coming over to sleep tonight with your cousin!'' And I was SO happy (my cousin was the same age as me and we were very close).
But I remember some time last year, when I came home from my volunteer job on a Saturday and my mum announced that one of my other cousins were coming to stay tonight since she was going to a nightclub (unlike me) and couldn't get home. I felt a bit distressed because I had planned to have my favourite spaghetti meal quietly on my own and go on the internet on the sites I like to be on for hours, (eg, WP), but obviously I can't do that properly when I got someone here. Once my cousin had arrived, I was OK.

I love unplanned events as long as I feel my life is in order, which it has not been for 7 years now. Once I have it in order I am looking forward to being able to appreciate them again!

I don't like surprises, and unplanned events are a type of surprise, which is one reason I dread christmas and birthdays sometimes: the surprise gifts, they're always less enjoyable when it's a surprise, i know my reletives think they're being nice by surprising me but I given that they know I dislike it they must do it to make themselves feel good, cause "everyone likes surprises!"

YES. This is one of those things that I didn't realize that I did. When I was first looking over the AS traits, I said that I wasn't resistant to change. My SO then proceeded to list all the ways that I was.

I get upset if I have a day off when I thought I'd be working, and I get upset if I have to work on a day I had thought I had off. I hate when people call or come to the house unannounced. I hate surprises. I get upset when plans change at the last minute, or if something happens to prevent the plans from happening. I get upset when people don't do things that they'd said they'd do or do them at a different time than I expect them to. And on and on. Even if the change is something that I really do like more, I resist it. I have to have time to come to terms with it before I can accept it.

I don't have a strict routine, but this still applies:

When notified of events at short notice (the same day, maybe earlier depending what it is), I am not best pleased.

If I was asked, no because I can say no.

But I hate it when I get something on short notice and I was mad last summer when my sister in law waited two days before the event to invite us to her cousin's daughter's birthday party. I moaned about it and had an attitude because I was not happy about it and my husband said it's the way she is and I said she needed to let us know ahead of time and now we have no time to get the girl something for her birthday. I did not want to go to any store for a gift because it was so short and too stressful and I didn't think we have time. My husband gave her 20 bucks for her birthday. But I think wouldn't anyone get upset or annoyed? You sure can't wait till the very end yo invite someone to an event because they could have other plans already.


I have gotten upset when I'd be working on my day off but got used to it after a while. I mean I was off more than two days a week and I needed the money.

But for me it all depends. I have been told I didn't like surprises but I was 14 then. I thought I do like surprises if they are good ones but I hate bad ones but doesn't anyone hate bad surprises? I don't understand why bad things are called surprises anyway so I will assume when they say aspies don't like surprises, they mean good ones. Okay if I do not like something or are not into it, I do not like it. But if it's my idea or something I like, I like it.


I have gotten better at handling these things and no longer feel like melting down. I used to feel sick to my stomach literally when changes happen or feel intense anxiety or feel like I am on the wrong planet.

Yeah, I do not like unplanned events. They mess my whole day up. I need to know about things in advance.

It depends, for the most part I don't like unplanned events...the way my routines work it not only messes up my day but my whole week too...however sometimes it can work, as long as I'm told 'We are going to do X' 'This is what you have to do/This is what is expected of you' and given a little time to sort myself out, then it can work out okay.

Yeah. I don't like unplanned events too. If my mom say 'tomorrow we'll go in Switzerland' i don't leff pleased. I have already planned my day. If my mom, monday say 'saturday we'll go in Switzerland' it's much better. I have 4 days for prepare myself.

On the other hand i enjoy surprises like birthday gifts or Christmas gift.

I get quite anxious and flustered when people spring events on me.

With my study course, One of the subjects got behind by a week, the tutor for physics was sick for a week, and another tutor is a week behind in marking and returning a report because of a possible collaboration / plagiarism issue. I'm frustrated the course is behind and anxious we don't have adequate time for some of the stuff we still need to do.

I hate unexpected things. Like if mom wants to go somewhere, I need to have several days beforehand to be able to go. The only reason I can give is that I don't like changes in my routine, and need awhile before I can decide that I want to go.

I hate surprises and unplanned events. A recent example is that my family and I originally planned to go to the Oregon Coast in June, but my sister who lives in England called the other day and said that she is coming to visit from June until August. Even though it is still a month away, I feel like it is an unplanned event because normally she announces coming to visit at least six months to a year in advance. One month isn't enough time for me to mentally prepare myself.

I'm not that crazy about planned events, either. The very word "event" implies that it is disruptive, expensive, noisy, disorienting, time-consuming and possibly disappointing. I'll pass.