Do you know yourself?

Post Reply New Topic

Sometimes, I feel like I don't have my own personality and am very gullible or at least prone to being persuaded by others. It's as if I have to rely on and ask others about my personality because I really don't know myself very well.

No, I don't think I know myself very well. I feel like a collection of other people put together, badly.

Most of the things I actually do know about myself are from what others have told me. My personality does change quite a bit depending on my surroundings.

I feel the same way.

Kon, this can be extremely distressing. I stayed so busy most of my life as an observer on WTF to do, I didn't spend much time thinking about who I was: my likes, dislikes, what I wanted to do in five years, ten years; basically it was getting through a day sleeping and getting through another day.

Many of the people in my life, that I new for years, never seemed to change, it seemed like there was something automatic inside of them that worked without the conscious attention I had to apply to everything I said and did; measuring the volume, tone of my language, concentrating on appropriate gesture and social exchange and adapting to who I was around to ensure successful social interaction.

I remember going to bed at times being full the feeling I got from studying other people, seeing pictures of them in my mind, every nuance of communication and whether or not I was being successful in my methods of interaction.

My understanding is that this comes automatic to most people, and its not something they have to continuously consciously work on everyday of their life.

The problem was when I was forced to quit work because of health problems. I did not have all that external, overwhelming structure dominating my life, I was suddenly faced with myself. I had problems with my eyes and pretty much had to stay in a dark room for months.

I felt so organized with my external structure, but without it I quickly became extremely disorganized in planning and executing my life without those external motivators. I had them from the time I was 5, starting school continuously, to age 47.

I never even wanted to think about losing the routine in my life that kept me grounded and was fortunate to keep it as long as I did. In the back of my mind though there was a voice that kept telling me I better get to know who I was as an individual, like everyone else seemed to do.

There are studies now that suggest that Autistic people have difficulty understanding their own minds and their awareness of mind is not the same. The study interviewed people and found that the thought process of how someone views the world in relationship to themselves is much different with Autism.

My inner world was one dominated by problems solving in every detailed area of my environment. I think others are more interested in emotional exchange and many of those problems that I was having to figure out comes as a natural process to their minds.

Unfortunately, the only answer I know for it is to stay busy the best you can and try not to get trapped in a mind that is made more for input than output.

Not exactly as you describe but something similar. It's more a lack of self awareness at time, like I'm integrated with the world around me and the boundary between self and everything else is blurred. This seems similar to how certain religious and spiritual mystics describe their experiences, except I don't have to try very hard to get there. Ironic that people would put effort into finding a mental state that appears to emulate a lack of Theory of Mind.

I believe I know myself very well.
I don't know that I have ever introduced him to anyone else though

they all meet various persona that are created to try and match the situation (since I never do).
understanding just who you are can be a very difficult journey, I don't think that most NTs take it.
Just don't confuse the masks you wear for who you are inside, i know I have to believe that somewhere out there is someone who thinks I'm perfect without the mask, in the meantime.....

Interesting, in the study they said words to the effect of lacking a personal theory of mind. The thing that clued a diference for me all my life, is how people could sing songs out of the blue, recite poetry, long jokes, detailed stories about their lives and experiences.

I had so many visual memories of my life that I could get lost in, but I couldn't put them into an organized verbal story. I could do it much better when I'm typing and seeing it on a screen and it becomes visual and takes structure.

Visual imagery was my structure in life, and after I started having problems with my eyesight, I felt like I was hardly here.

I know myself. I know that I'm a Kinks Fan and a confident introvert. I know that I'm a sweet and gentle person. I also know that I'm stuck in my ways and I can be very stubborn. I know that part of me likes the 60s and part of me likes the 80s. I know that I would rather knit hats and post on WP, than sit there and watch TV. I know that I'm a Highly Sensitive Person. I grew up to be a lot like the gentle, sensitive Mick Avory as opposed to growing up to be the average tough, bitchy, catty young women that I see everywhere. My sister is one of them, but this is about me. I know that my favourite colours are purple, green and orange. I know that I must have afternoon tea every day of the week. I know that I like British Rock over American Rock. I also know that I get along with British and American people than I do people from other ethnic backgrounds. I also know that I get anxious when my best friend leaves for Maui around this time of year. I also know that I'm immature for my age. I act more like a 21 year old Mod, than how a grown 36 year old woman should act. I know that I will never grow up completley and in a way, I always will be a 21 year old Mod. I know myself very well, and that's what scares people who believe all the myths about autism.

Ironically I know myself better when I'm NOT around other people. Whenever I am around people I completely lose myself and end up doing the stupidest things and trusting the wrong people.

Exactly!

The only person I know is me.

been trying to figure myself out for years

I know what I like and don't like quite clearly. If you ask me how I feel about something, usually it's like "nothing" or "whatever". I rarely have strong feelings or opinions. That's a very good thing, because if I have strong feelings about something I tend to get obsessed and couldn't let go.

I know a thing or two about myself but who knows how much I don't know about myself? So I can't answer the question....I sense I have a lot to learn in the self-knowledge department.

I think it's normal to rely on others to fill in the picture of who we are.......there are some things like attractiveness that only exist in the minds of others, and others can be helpful in showing us how we come over to them and what our noticeable traits seem to be, in their experience. I don't think humans in general know themselves very well....."Studies by psychologists Alloy and Abramson (1979) and Dobson and Franche (1989) suggested that depressed people appear to have a more realistic perception of their importance, reputation, locus of control, and abilities than those who are not depressed. People without depression may be more likely to have inflated self-images and look at the world through "rose-colored glasses", thanks to cognitive dissonance elimination and a variety of other defense mechanisms."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

I'd like to think that I know more about myself than others do, however, that doesn't stop me underestimating or overestimating myself sometimes.