Really embarrassed when I use certain word(s)
I can't remember if this is supposed to be an Aspie trait or what, but what the hey.
Just tonight, I was thinking about another little oddity of mine: I have trouble saying the word "beautiful," particularly when referring to a girl.
I really have no clue why. Typically, I can use any number of different synonyms (such as "gorgeous"), but the idea of saying a girl is "beautiful," whether to her face or just describing her to someone else, makes me feel incredibly embarrassed. It seems like something must have happened to me early in life to trigger this Pavlov effect, but whatever it could have been, it has me stumped.
The only thing I know about this quirk that could help me get to the bottom of why I have it is that it seems to cause me the same kind of embarrassment I'd always have, from about age 8 on, whenever my parents tried to discuss girls with me. I hated that, and never could explain why I hated it... and it still bugs me whenever the subject of future love prospects crop up in conversation with my folks - not just because of the whole "get off my back, I'll take care of it myself" thing, but mostly because there's a certain humiliation I associate with talking about this stuff with my freaking parents. I never could figure out what my problem was, because that's what parents are there for, right?
This could be problematic later in life if - er, when - I do get married, because from what I can gather from what I've observed, husbands have to fling the word "beautiful" around like monkey poo to keep their wives happy (on second thought, maybe I'm getting this from TV and not real life?).
And this isn't the only word I blush over. I also have difficulty spitting out goofy-sounding things to strangers. When I was in college, I once went to a classic ice cream shop with a group of friends, and even though I was hungry, everything on the menu had these completely absurd, rhyming names I was not in the mood to blurt out to the order taker (even though I was sure it was no big deal to her, being an everyday thing for someone who worked there). So based on this alone, I just sat around and watched my friends eat ice cream O_o
Good thing I've always known I could never survive a job as a waiter at a place like, say, Denny's. I'd die of humiliation before recommending something called "Moons Over My Hammy" to a customer.
Soooo... thoughts?
What about you guys? Are there any words that trigger unusually intense embarrassment for you?
Yes. I remember I could never say the word love before. I have no idea why, it just felt embarrassing. I do love people, but I couldn't say it. Also the word woman. That sounds strange too, I'm sure, but I never liked to say it. I usually say lady or female or girl. SOMETIMES I refer to other females as women, but usually not. And I definitely am NOT one. I am a 27 year old girl.....
When I was a small child, I used to feel really embarrassed when using the word "pregnant". I used to play this game by myself where I would stuff stuffed animals down my shirt and pants and pretend to be pregnant. But I never called it "the pregnant game", instead I called it "the fat game". Thankfully I never used that adjective to describe real-life pregnant ladies!
The concept of pregnancy has always stirred up "strange" emotions in me, from as far back as I can remember, but that is a story for a different topic.
When I lived in France I had a lot of problems speaking French full stop (it is a foreign language not a first language), particularly greetings and goodbyes, which are things I find difficult in English, but are a lot more important in France. I overcame this to a certain extent, but one word I could never make myself say was Ciao, which in France (as in Italy and elsewhere) is used as an informal way of saying goodbye. It just felt embarrassing to use it and I really don't know why as everyone else was. Instead I would say 'see you tomorrow' or 'have a good weekend' depending upon the day of the week. Both of which are short two word phrases in French and commonly used upon leaving people. Maybe it was because I didn't think it was a proper French word or something to do with its informality - I never have been much of a user of English slang words or swear words.
There were certain words that I didn't like to use, for whatever reason... and I'd avoid them like the plague. Some words had a "dirty" feel to them, and others just sounded too silly.
I'm really kind of anti-romantic. If you love someone, you show it with actions. I don't find words to be all that meaningful, but that attitude has gotten me in trouble with boyfriends in the past. I won't want to say "I love you" or any number of things. And I sure as hell don't want to be given dead flowers. xD Give me live flowers, if you must.
In regards to the word beautiful... I find it to be a bit superficial. There's this song that came out a few years ago that says "I want to make you feel beautiful" and it's a man singing to a woman. For some reason, it made me really angry to hear it... and it played everywhere I went. And I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much. All I knew is that it was never something I ever wanted to have said to me. After sound thought as to why, I think it's because it sounds very presumptuous... like a female could never be appreciated for being anything other than beautiful. And why would I want to feel beautiful? Are women really so shallow that they've gotta think of themselves as pretty all the time? *end rant*
Mind you, I have troubles with giving and receiving complements too. :X Maybe this is an Aspie-trait, after all.
All I can say is that... if you have trouble saying a certain word or two, if the person that you find loves you for who you are, they won't mind. Those are the kinds of "quirks" that people learn to deal with.
_________________
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I'm embarrassed to use the term "Aspie" cause it sounds really stupid. I wonder if that is an AS trait?
LOL, yeah! I can't believe I forgot about that one.
I hate having to say "Asperger's" or "Aspie" IRL since they both sound, to people who have never heard of AS, like potty-talk and open themselves right up for ridicule the moment they leave my lips (and heh, the irony is, we're the ones who're supposed to have trouble piecing together the sounds language is made up of), but I don't want to say "Aspergian" either, because to my ears it almost sounds elitist.
This is the whole reason that, whenever I disclose my diagnosis to someone, I usually start out by saying "I have a form of autism..."
I'm really kind of anti-romantic. If you love someone, you show it with actions. I don't find words to be all that meaningful, but that attitude has gotten me in trouble with boyfriends in the past. I won't want to say "I love you" or any number of things. And I sure as hell don't want to be given dead flowers. xD Give me live flowers, if you must.
In regards to the word beautiful... I find it to be a bit superficial. There's this song that came out a few years ago that says "I want to make you feel beautiful" and it's a man singing to a woman. For some reason, it made me really angry to hear it... and it played everywhere I went. And I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much. All I knew is that it was never something I ever wanted to have said to me. After sound thought as to why, I think it's because it sounds very presumptuous... like a female could never be appreciated for being anything other than beautiful. And why would I want to feel beautiful? Are women really so shallow that they've gotta think of themselves as pretty all the time? *end rant*
Mind you, I have troubles with giving and receiving complements too. :X Maybe this is an Aspie-trait, after all.
All I can say is that... if you have trouble saying a certain word or two, if the person that you find loves you for who you are, they won't mind. Those are the kinds of "quirks" that people learn to deal with.
Awesome post! It nice to know my suspicions are shared by others that "women=beauty beauty beauty" is superficial

Last edited by kenisu3000 on 16 Apr 2011, 12:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm embarrassed to use the term "Aspie" cause it sounds really stupid. I wonder if that is an AS trait?
LOL, yeah! I can't believe I forgot about that one.
I hate having to say "Asperger's" or "Aspie" IRL since they both sound, to people who have never heard of AS, like potty-talk and open themselves right up for ridicule the moment they leave my lips (and heh, the irony is, we're the ones who're supposed to have trouble piecing together the sounds language is made up of), but I don't want to say "Aspergian" either, because to my ears it almost sounds elitist.
This is the whole reason that, whenever I disclose my diagnosis to someone, I usually start out by saying "I have a form of autism..."
I never type it on these forums either except when I'm saying how I don't like the sound of the word.
This has happened to me before lol.
I wouldn't like the sound of certain phrases and words at certain moments. I usually didn't want to sound cheesy or corny with what I said, I always wanted to be seen as witty because of believing myself to be intelligent. Even now, I'm proof-reading what I have just written so it looks like a good post lol.
I have a belief in the power of words, so I'm careful about the things I say and write these days as I believe it can affect reality in a number of ways and on levels that we perhaps do not have any idea about. That's my personal belief anyway.
i have a lot of words that sound wrong so I don't say them for no logical reason as well.
Someone may say something and if I have to repeat it back I will replace the awkward work with my preferred one which must sound odd.
I can't shorten words or names either, thats feels really silly!
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