A few more thoughts about travelling...

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Tequila
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17 May 2011, 12:12 pm

I'm currently on holiday in the Algarve in Portugal. I travel with my mum - I have always travelled with my mum. If I didn't travel with someone I trusted I wouldn't go anywhere. That is sort of a given.

I find it very difficult to process the places I go around me. I am constantly anxious and wary of everything - not the food bits, or generally the bars (as long as they are quiet, although even there I am never truly relaxed) but everything else is a huge problem for me. My eyesight is generally fairly poor and I suffer from nystagmus constantly, so everything I see is blurred. I frequently can't see what's going on around me, so if I'm taking photos and someone is approaching me to comment - or, more often, is staring at me antagonistically - I don't notice this. I've had some very pissed off people running up to me, interrogating me and I just freeze up.

One of the more common effects of Asperger's, I believe, is that many of us develop social anxiety disorder, together with realising that our social skills (and other people's motivations) aren't clear to us. So if something doesn't follow a set script I find it impossible to work out what the other person is after. I don't know how to deal with packs of people.

I believe I send off submissive/scared body language anyway so I think that makes me a target. Which leads to a feeling of paranoia and not being able to tell the difference between the people that are harmful for me and those that aren't (although this changes situationally, too).

Anyway, the major point is that I am never, ever relaxed. I always feel really "on edge" all the time, whether I'm at home or away. My sensory programming goes into overload trying to process supermarkets, and all the products that are in them. I end up not buying anything much of the time because there is "too much choice". I sometimes take photos so that I can memorise the products but then that leads to...

...and so on. I'm fascinated by ephemera, and so many can't understand this.

Would some sort of CBT / therapy help perhaps? It's really not doing me any good, all this anxiety.

I'm really sorry, this is just a bit of a rant. I'll probably come back to this and add more in a few days when I am back in the UK.



Tequila
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20 May 2011, 6:58 am

I returned to the UK from Portugal last night.

The problems still don't go away though and I'm not sure how to fix them.

Does anyone else here wish to contribute their own experiences? :)



TenPencePiece
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20 May 2011, 7:13 am

Holidays have always been a "special circumstance" to me. Perhaps it's just being in a foreign land where social skills are just a little less important, at least in my view, but even in an extremely anxious period two years ago, anxieties were much lower when I was abroad.


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Tequila
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20 May 2011, 7:18 am

TenPencePiece wrote:
Holidays have always been a "special circumstance" to me. Perhaps it's just being in a foreign land where social skills are just a little less important, at least in my view, but even in an extremely anxious period two years ago, anxieties were much lower when I was abroad.


I think it's also because I was obsessing in my head over things and people back at home. I probably need some sort of treatment for my OCD.



Surfman
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20 May 2011, 1:33 pm

I dont like people taking photos, either of me or my things.

As a first world tourist with money, you are a target for those in the tourism industry.

If you present as an affected target, the attention you receive will be great, and of a malevolent nature.



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20 May 2011, 4:52 pm

Rather than aparently most people here, I actually adore traveling. I love to go alone though, and to non-tourist-y areas. I just absorb the information and spend the whole trip observing stuff and people and customs. Less people think me weird because they explain it as being a foreigner, which is fine by me. There are restrictions however. I never pack a camera, as I hate photo's, I was there, I have an excelent memory, what more to it is there? Me traveling alone is also perfect in case of sensory overloads. I feel them comming, and being alone, I can just walk away and find a quiet spot under a tree where I can sit and admire the view or something. As long as I have my personal travel gear (and Aeroflot does not forget it at Moscow Sheremetyevo $%^#$%&), I am quite fine.

Anyone else seeing it from this point of view?


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Tequila
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20 May 2011, 4:55 pm

Surfman wrote:
I dont like people taking photos, either of me or my things.


Rarely do I take photos of people. In fact, I'm actively avoidant when photographing in that sense. I need to get over this, as this is frequently hampering my relations with people. When someone comes up to me, I don't know what to say to them! I "freeze up".

Quote:
As a first world tourist with money, you are a target for those in the tourism industry.


If you go to the tourist resorts, yes. I avoid these as much as possible. It's full of the sort of people you want to avoid anyway, especially in Southern Europe. I'm referring to the "lager lout" tourist resorts than tourist resorts per se here. I get less trouble at ordinary tourist resorts, less suspicion, less hostility.

Quote:
If you present as an affected target, the attention you receive will be great, and of a malevolent nature.


I just act utterly impassive when people bother me. It's like they're not there.



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21 May 2011, 4:56 am

I always go travelling by myself- I've tried before with friends/family (as an adult) and it just doesn't work. Normally ends up in falling out.

I find that getting there and back is very stressful, especially arriving somewhere new, but when I get there, I'm fine: gives me a chance to drop the acting, and be me.
I can go where I want, when I want, can escape somewhere quiet if everything gets too much, and avoid everybody. From very bad experience, I now know the kind of places I can stay too- no longer do I even attempt hostels.

I also choose where I go carefully- mostly Europe, and been to South Africa. There's lots of places I just don't want to go, there's places I'd love to go but know it would be ridiculously difficult to. I suppose you learn from experience.