When someone insults you how do react? Or to criticism?

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I find if this happens I can feel deeply offended, I replay the words for days after, ruminate and get anxious. I also feel uncomfortable with criticism, if it is constructive for example at my photography course I deal with it absolutely fine, it can even be helpful. But if someone is overly critical and uses a tone of voice that sounds like I'm being told off I can over react.

If the situation involves being insulted if its someone i don't really respect then i'll probably brush it off but otherwise I can be very upset by hurtful remarks probably a lot more so than an NT individual.

How does everyone else feel about dealing with criticism and insulting communication?

I guess it depends on the particular context.


If it's constructive criticism, I don't mind.

If it's just to be critical, I get irritated. I go into "ignore" mode.

If somebody blatantly insults me, I consider it "their problem," not mine. I sometimes even laugh at the person insulting me.

I treat unpleasant people a bit like the unpleasant territorial barking dogs I encounter in my daily neighborhood walks. if the [uncurbed] dogs get too close with bared fangs and won't back off, they get a blast of OC spray in the snout. I also change my walking route if need be.
the actual people who are nasty to me, who [since they are nominally humans and not dogs] really ought to know better, I treat like they are dangerous uncurbed dogs and just steer clear of them, and if they pursue me, they will be deterred however i'm able to deter them. I've only hadda do that a few times, thank god. violence sucks big wind.

I had a nightmare last night where I was a busser in a local restaurant, and some very rude woman at a table objected to the way I looked and moved, and basically emptied her brain of a few choice words directed at me, but i ignored her as best i could. her anger escalated until near the end, she grabbed broken glass and cutlery and headed my way, but another waiter got into it with her while I exited, as it was change of shift.

I get very distressed by criticism and usually have a meltdown. It is both the emotional hurt and injustice, and also the demand on me to be something that the other person wants. It triggers a major attack of upset.

If someone is giving me a mild critism to be helpful, I don't mind. But if someone is unempathetically criticising, I get annoyed or even offended. For example, if someone was getting on my case just because I have a phobia of spiders and they don't, it makes me mad, especially when they start bringing age into it, like telling me to "grow up". I mean, nobody is too old to have phobias. Or if people criticise me for being me and are expecting me to change, that annoys me too. Like once someone said "why don't you be a bus-driver?" and I said "no, I'm not really that kind of person, it's not for me", and then that person said "well, become that kind of person then". It had nothing to do with him what job I do anyway.

In Toastmasters, we don't use the word criticism. We speak about concrete suggestions and ideas on how to improve our speeches. I welcome any ideas, especially when I present the speeches in a contest setting.

Insults hurt, because they make me feel as if I truly am a bad person. What hurts more than criticism is when the same things happen over and over without change. I feel as though any progress I made in life is largely an illusion or irrelevant at my age.

Kinda depends. For most criticisms, I usually reply with a childish insult like "your mom" or "your face" especially if it makes no sense. I then walk off while they stand there pondering about what on earth has transpired.

For insults about quirks especially autism-related, I tend to diss them... or walk off with a childish insult. It depends on the person though. For instance, if someone tells me to stop looking down and look at their eyes, I respond by saying something like "Oh, sorry... your feet are better to look at compared to that mass on top of your neck which you call a 'face.'" If I'm not in the mood, it's a good ol "yo momma!" *walk off*

I'm hypersensitive to people's insults and criticism. I know it's bad to not be able to take criticism because there are other people on the internet who not only deny it when anyone tells the truth about how badly they act or do things, but they reply with threats and and all kinds of racist/sexist/ableist insults. I heard having difficulty with criticism is an aspie thing, but a lot of people here seem able to ignore it or not care, while I'll obsessing about it for days or even months.

Sometimes people will criticize something I like, and then I'll obsess over that as well. For example, a book or movie I like has an "idiot plot", that must mean I'm an idiot for liking it. And then I can look at it the same way I did before and I feel embarrassed and ashamed for openly showing an fondness for it.

I shouldn't care what other people thing, but in middle school I was bullied and harassed constantly because of things I liked that were unusual and it got so bad I started having anxiety attacks and felt sick most of the time, but no one did anything, it was all my fault.

Yes lostonearth can relate to a lot you are saying. It also made me realise something that when I'm criticised or insulted it reminds me of school days and I think I kind of revisit that awful feeling I experienced then. One criticism has a domino effect and helps resurface all the other criticisms ever, I wish my memory did not store all this rubbish!

I've learnt to constantly edit what I say and mask the real me to prevent NT's criticism, but maybe I should accept my differences and find friends on the same wave length, some how.

As I was growing up, a criticism meant that someone noticed me, and more than anything I didn't want to be noticed.

And now sometimes still I get locked into that mode of thinking when someone criticises or notices what I do and makes a comment about it. It gets on my nerves because there's really no reason to be so sensitive.