Don't expect others to bend their backs for you

Post Reply New Topic

Why does it seem that there is a lot of people here who expect NT's to bend over their backs and tend to their every need because their disabled ? I know it's all because of the disorder and all, but why do you guys here hate others (particularly NT's) so much? No wonder some of you don't have friends, jobs, boyfriends/girlfriends and whatnot. You guys are limiting yourself by blaming your AS for every problem that you have. I'm not saying AS is fake, but some of you just need to grow up.

Often thought this to be honest. Just be careful about the generalisations; not everyone is like that here.

(now please don't spoil it all and turn out to be a troll )

...and you hit the nail on the head... there are alot of kids here. And by kids I mean anyone under 30...

When you see a post that makes you go hmmmmmm, check out your posters age in their profile and put it into perspective.

Nobody really cares, unless there is something in it for them. Even if the payoff is only a warm, fuzzy feeling or a split-level condo in Heaven on Messiah Avenue, nobody does anything for anyone else without expecting something in return.

Last edited by Fnord on 29 May 2011, 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I more expect people to leave me alone if they do not like what I am doing....I don't want them to bend over backwards I would like them to be considerate of a fellow human and if they do not want to be then they should just leave me alone. Unfortunatly some people find it more entertaining to attempt and sometimes suceed at tormenting me. Basically I will stay out of your way if you stay out of mine....otherwise I am cool with most people.

OH BS!

Some NT's, NOT ALL, roll their eyes when they are informed that someone is different. It goes back to that childhood game of Can you spot what is out of place? It's like it teaches kids to pick out that different trait and pick on it.

Nobody is telling you to bend over backwards! I've met some NT's well they ended up being very self absorbed who translated their new information as "bend over backwards". I have never once heard someone who was disabled or different say BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR ME.



If you take it as that, you might want to look up narcissism. Not like you'd admit to being one.

Okay, really? You must not know how hard it is for us then, right? I have severe anxiety, High Functioning autism and ADHD. I was also emotionally abused as a child in school because of severe bullying and lack of awareness. I do have a boyfriend I love very much and friends that support me. I don't have a job or attend college because of emotional and disability reasons.

Some people here have trouble finding such things. It's not they are using it as an excuse. I don't hate NTs either since most of my friends are NTs. I just hate some of the really ignorant ones who don't understand what it is like. You have to realize how hard it is for others who aren't very good with such things. I mean I know you SAID you don't think AS is fake but the way you are putting it, you don't really seem to understand the nature of it and how debilitating it is for some of the ones here who have it.

Sorry, had to get that out.

All I ask is to be treated as a human being.

My experience with NTs is that most of them react out of ignorance, not out of spite. I have no animosity toward the NTs that I've known but some harm sometimes does happen.

There are some people who simply are prejudiced.

I don't mean everyone. I noticed from reading threads that some people here think they are superior. I don't mean to offend you, but it's good that you were able to form relationships and not use your disabilities as excuse. Keep it up!

I know of NT's who think they are superior too. Are you going to go wag your virtual finger at them as well? If that is your major malfunction then turn it into an anti-superiority campaign.

Oh and sometimes people don't use their difference as an excuse but to provide a reason as for why they are responding in an unusual manner. If you were in my shoes, you would get people using it against you and deliberately setting off your sensory issues in hopes that you would do something "entertaining".

Yeah because I try not to. The only time I do is when I know its something I've tried and had a hard time doing. I had a job once and nearly had a nervous breakdown, also messed up my bad shoulder as well. So to be honest, I am somewhat emotionally/physically disabled from having to work. I had bad experiences with school systems so much that I rather not deal with them again... so I just chose not to and do things that I can do. I do know what you mean too, some people here can be like that and its hard to get anything out without having proper responses that you expect.

I don't really know where you get this perception of people with AS in general, but I can certainly say I've never expected people to bend their backs, or go out of their way for me. In fact, I would have been quite pleased, if as a child, people just left me alone, but that was not the case. From my perspective, I was constantly micromanaged and harassed about the way I was and the way I did things by well meaning, yet misguided individuals.

It was constantly others intruding into my world and asking things of me.

Concerning NT's, I don't hate NT's and in fact, I believe I generally afford NT's far more patience and understanding than they do of those with AS. I don't intrude into their lives and demand they live their life the way I think they should live it, or act the way I think they should act. I understand that they are generally uncomfortable around those who are different and I've never demanded anyone be my friend or boyfriend or hire me on the pretense that I should be accepted just how I am.

When I interact with those who do not have AS, I make the effort to accommodate them and their ways and understand their perceptions and reasoning. Rarely is that ever reciprocated to me by NT's, so I think your perceptions are very wrong and you are quite rude to come in here and make the vast general accusations that you do.

troll i think. Anyway i would say this is pretty irrelevant for autistics. Since they have been used to adjusting themselves to others all their life. So expecting others to adjust to them would be a foreign thought. If its annything its that autistics are expected to bend their backs to fit the general rules of behaviour without any leeway.

It has been my experience that merely informing people that I am "different" translates suddenly into "bending over backwards to accommodate" -- this harsh sentiment is usually latent, only to be unveiled at the moment most advantageous to them, and demeaning to me. The mere fact of a difference, of the notion that "I won't pick up on everything" seems to translate into "you think you're an exception to rules" or some nonsense like that. It seems to become such a tedious chore for anyone to even acknowledge differences in cognition. And I don't expect them to, since it's only a problem once in awhile. I've gone months and months without any incident. But the moment it comes out, immediately these people say they're "bending over backwards." Then again, the USA isn't known for it's general tolerance, social enlightenment, and social literacy. People here go around assuming all sorts of cynical shyte about other people - like "we're hiding behind our disability" or "milking the system" or "being immature" or generally being lazy in some way. Most people want to treat everyone the same, because they are intellectually lazy themselves, and have a thin tolerance / thin skin wherever real substantial diversity becomes concerned. I have never asked favors of anyone, nor do I use my diagnosis as a shield, excuse, or rationalization for things I know I can do. I find out about my mistakes when I make them, not because I cop out behind some diagnosis. It is actually your cynical attitude which is more of a problem than whatever shortcomings might be spotted on me (and I clean up after them too... so nobody even has to do anything....). Certainly your opinion is an easy and obvious attitude to have. It's nothing new, in fact it is the default position of intolerance.

It's because people are frustrated with life, so they complain.