Why did i get into trobble?
Today i was thinking about somethings that happend when i was slightly younger.
When i was around 12 years old i was hanging out with a 8 year old she is related to me and we would hang out all the time so we came up with this game to put stuff on the fan and let it fly of.
We ended up brakeing it we both were luaghing at it and we hid the broken part because we got scared (Now i understood we were ganna get into trobble and i got scared) And so they fond out and got angrey but they only got mad at me they told me that i should have known that she was younger then me and im more like someone she follows around. And they yelled at me i didnt understand it never went threw my head that she was younger then me to me it was okay shes younger but she feels like the same age as me dosent she understand like me? i told them i didnt get avreything and they thought i was just trying to get away with what trobble i got into.
Now when i was younger this happend she was only a toddler and i wanted to go into the other room and play with the doll house she told me no and got upset so i keept asking why not? we can go down stares after its like i was treateing her like my own age when i was 4 years older.
i didnt understand why it was she was younger then me but would feel the same age as me and so i would treat her like the same age as me. she ran down into the other room crying because she didnt want to. I remaber i sat at the steps feeling really upset like i wanted to cry and then my other custions my age at the time came over to me and said shes younger she dosent understand. I keept trying to tell myself back then (shes younger okay ) but still i didnt understand it. Now this did happen when we got older like i told you all ready it happend more then just the few times i told you about i still got this problem but normley its with kids that are 4 years younger then me i dont understand it with or the age of 7. because i understand toddlers babys young kids dont get how to hang out with someone and understand. but someone a little older then that who is understanding or seems to understand and knows how to hang out with people i dont understand it with. I think i am slowly learning but its took years for me to even start to understand how im older then people and understand more. and i mean years. but why didnt i understand this at them times? was this my autism what was it? how and why. yes i have miner mr and anxiety and autism. as i said before but does this go with any of what i have is that why i never got it?
I think since autistic people tend to mature emotionally more slowly than other people, we tend to bond with people who are younger than us or at least who are at our mental level.
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Stupid society rules they have. The older person always has to be the bad guy. Even if the kid is doing stuff to you that is upsetting you, so you lock them out of your bedroom, you are the bad guy because you get scolded for it and get told how mean that is. Well what else are you supposed to do? Let the two year old wreck your stuff and mess up your bedroom?
I also read a post on facebook by someone and he made up a scenario about a dog owner being in the park with his dog and a kid started to throw rocks at it and the parents wouldn't put a stop to it so he called the police. He had to stand there and watch his dog get tortured because if he pounded the kid or tasered him, he be the one in trouble, not the little boy. But honestly I would have just yelled at the kid and leave the park than just standing there and let it happen.
So if both kids do something wrong and one of the kids was a lot older than the younger kid, the older one always has to be the bad guy because people expect the kid to set a good example for the younger one by not doing it too or going along with it like you did by hiding the fan. This happens with toddlers too. A 2 year old and a 4 year old get into a fight so they both start hitting each other, the four year old gets into trouble and the two year old is in less trouble and it doesn't even matter if the two year old started it. They want the four year old to set a good example for the younger child by not hitting back and to handle it differently. This probably only works with NT kids but with autistic kids we have no clue and all we learn is little kids are evil, grown ups are mean. They just want to punish us for no reason. So we learn nothing while NT kids learn to handle things better and how to act. I think that is why grown ups punish older kids, to teach them how to act.
Luckily my mother figured out my mind didn't work that way so she always had to talk to me and spell things out to me about what is right and wrong. She even had to explain to me how I was too old to act a certain way and the reason why this kid did it is because he is three so I would figure out "Oh I see, that's three year old behavior, I am nine and that isn't nine year old behavior."
But then in my late teens I learned there is normal misbehavior but it doesn't make it okay. The grown ups have to tell them "no" and teach them. Back then I thought just because it's normal, it makes it okay but it doesn't. Mom had to explain it to me because I had it figured out wrong and was confused why she wouldn't let me be a normal teen and she told me it's normal misbehavior but it's not okay to do it. Heck I used to think teens had to talk bad to their parents and be snotty and disrespectful because it was teen behavior but no it's normal misbehavior but it doesn't make it okay for them to do it.
When i was around 12 years old i was hanging out with a 8 year old she is related to me and we would hang out all the time so we came up with this game to put stuff on the fan and let it fly of.
We ended up brakeing it we both were luaghing at it and we hid the broken part because we got scared (Now i understood we were ganna get into trobble and i got scared) And so they fond out and got angrey but they only got mad at me they told me that i should have known that she was younger then me and im more like someone she follows around. And they yelled at me i didnt understand it never went threw my head that she was younger then me to me it was okay shes younger but she feels like the same age as me dosent she understand like me? i told them i didnt get avreything and they thought i was just trying to get away with what trobble i got into.
Now when i was younger this happend she was only a toddler and i wanted to go into the other room and play with the doll house she told me no and got upset so i keept asking why not? we can go down stares after its like i was treateing her like my own age when i was 4 years older.
i didnt understand why it was she was younger then me but would feel the same age as me and so i would treat her like the same age as me. she ran down into the other room crying because she didnt want to. I remaber i sat at the steps feeling really upset like i wanted to cry and then my other custions my age at the time came over to me and said shes younger she dosent understand. I keept trying to tell myself back then (shes younger okay ) but still i didnt understand it. Now this did happen when we got older like i told you all ready it happend more then just the few times i told you about i still got this problem but normley its with kids that are 4 years younger then me i dont understand it with or the age of 7. because i understand toddlers babys young kids dont get how to hang out with someone and understand. but someone a little older then that who is understanding or seems to understand and knows how to hang out with people i dont understand it with. I think i am slowly learning but its took years for me to even start to understand how im older then people and understand more. and i mean years. but why didnt i understand this at them times? was this my autism what was it? how and why. yes i have miner mr and anxiety and autism. as i said before but does this go with any of what i have is that why i never got it?
I guess so. If I got attached to someone and that person however young or old ditched me for other important tasks when I really wanted to play I would never understand not till I got to the age of 18 did I become emotionally more understanding i.e..
Yup, it was probably because you're autistic and understanding other people is something you learn more slowly, like understanding that younger people don't know as much as you do, etc.
Notice I said "more slowly". You are learning this stuff; it's not actually impossible--you just take longer.
When I was ten years old, I used to hang out with the kindergarten kids... It's easier when they are younger than you. The older they get the more complicated their socializing gets, really. I'm 28 now and I am starting to have friends my own age.
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