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Miyah
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05 Jun 2011, 2:26 pm

Hi,
I had a question regarding informing an NT who you will see or work with long-term or live with long-term. I have often been told by people who are professionals as well as family members not to mention to every soul on planet Earth that I have Asperger's Syndrome. However, I often find myself in the rock and a hard place when trying to interact with other people who are NTs in social settings and in the work place. When interacting, I often try my best not to talk about my AS to them and things seems to go smoothly at first. A very short time goes by and all of a sudden that same person is no longer interested because they think I am weird or a jerk. The same is also true at a work situation where I think my big break will finally come through and then I am suddenly stuck doing the simple or limited tasks while others are doing the more challenging ones.

On the other hand, if I tell people, it's almost like they treat me like I am a half of a person by talking really phoney and sugary and act as if I can't understand anything. They also tend to patronize and act as if I am a little child. Workers also assume that I am a slow learner and suddenly feel sorry for me.

So, how do I inform people that I have Asperger's without jepardizing opportunities above like with meeting people and with work situations? ((Letting people know but still allowing myself to grow in many ways?)).



izzeme
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05 Jun 2011, 3:11 pm

the way i usually do it when meeting new people i have to work with (part-time jobs, school projects, that kinda things) is by first mentioning the specific problems you are likely to have in that situation, and offer some solutions.
for example, you could say something like: "i have problems reading between the lines, so it would be best if you tell me clearly what to do" or "i am not good with subtilities, so if i do something wrong, tell me directly, i dont mind".
this way you can prevent a lot of possible problems without mentioning AS. if you feel you can trust that group or if explinations are 'required', you will be free to either disclose or hide your AS at that time again.



Miyah
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05 Jun 2011, 7:23 pm

I do feel comfortable and that sounds like something that I might want to mention to my staff directors and every area that I currently encounter because I want to learn just like everyone else. Should I also mention that teaching me one on one works really well?



izzeme
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06 Jun 2011, 3:24 am

if it does for you; by all means.
the specifics i mentioned were ment to be examples, not a full list of disclosure. the meaning being: share the problems you are expecting to have beforehand, with a ready-made solution, if you have one, and keep the rest to a later date



OJani
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06 Jun 2011, 5:15 am

izzeme wrote:
if it does for you; by all means.
the specifics i mentioned were ment to be examples, not a full list of disclosure. the meaning being: share the problems you are expecting to have beforehand, with a ready-made solution, if you have one, and keep the rest to a later date

I don't know what to say, I'd been so long in denial of my real personality before I learned about AS that I'm only started recently to learn how to make adjustments like this.