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Chummy
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04 Jun 2011, 7:48 am

You're sitting/standing in one place, and the two people on either side of yours are talking amongst themselves like you're not even between them. And those people are people you know, or your "friends". I mean it is so annoying damn it, another example of how sad it is to be an aspie.

Any idea of how to get back on them? like if I had like a newspaper I would have opened and read it in front of them so they could not have talked with each other.



DemonAbyss10
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04 Jun 2011, 8:21 am

no, its not.

you dont have to be a part of all their conversations, so get over yourself.


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MollyTroubletail
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04 Jun 2011, 8:27 am

Keep commenting or asking questions about everything they're saying. If they've put you between them, they "obviously" want you to contribute to their conversation.



Seph
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04 Jun 2011, 8:27 am

I see two things you might do in that situation.

1) Try to join the conversation.

2) Make a joke about the situation.

I don't believe getting them back would be productive.

And no I don't see it as really rude.


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Chummy
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04 Jun 2011, 8:41 am

You silly, ofc I don't wana be any part of their conversations? But why interrupt me and sit by two of my sides? when it is possible to sit one by another so I don't have to hear what they're saying when I try to concentrate.



Maje
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04 Jun 2011, 8:46 am

Get comfortable with being an outsider.

Its not necessarily offending.
I think its offending when people have a problem that Im an outsider and Im forced to interact.



Chummy
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04 Jun 2011, 8:56 am

yea that's the problem... They alienate me. I am an outsider. And those so called "friends" even made a remark about how stupid I am for being an outsider.



Tantricbadass
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04 Jun 2011, 10:04 am

It's offending sometimes



aspie48
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04 Jun 2011, 10:05 am

not really offending



Maje
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04 Jun 2011, 10:06 am

Aaah ok, now I understand: yes thats offending! But in an NT view it can mean "polite"...

Thats when I feel that my personal space is violated.



Lene
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04 Jun 2011, 10:48 am

Chummy wrote:
You silly, ofc I don't wana be any part of their conversations? But why interrupt me and sit by two of my sides? when it is possible to sit one by another so I don't have to hear what they're saying when I try to concentrate.


Why don't you offer to sit the other side of one of them so that they can chat more easily?



emac
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04 Jun 2011, 11:11 am

If you are not interested in what they are saying, give a little nod and dip out of the vicinity. It's sort of a futile question to ask if it's offensive. . . if it feels offensive to you, then I guess it's offensive to you.

YOU have control over whether or not to stay in that physical space. If you really do want to participate, but don't know how, maybe you would force yourself to stand there anyway, and maybe with time it would become easier to find an "in."



LostAlien
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04 Jun 2011, 11:29 am

Chummy wrote:
yea that's the problem... They alienate me. I am an outsider. And those so called "friends" even made a remark about how stupid I am for being an outsider.

Remarking that someone is stupid is rude regardless of the context, if someone says that something was a stupid action it is less rude and depends on context. If they make you an outsider on purpose and comment on it saying that you were stupid for something they did, it is very rude on their part. If they don't intend to exclude you, it's sad but less rude.

Do they seek you out? If they do, they're not trying to exclude you on purpose and probably have no idea that you feel excluded. If they don't seek you out, they could be false friends so it's a good idea to figure out if they are real or false friends if they don't seek you out.


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