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just-lou
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03 May 2011, 4:55 am

I've been railing at this a while and wondered how others went.
I'm a fiercely independent person, but conversely have a lot of trouble supporting myself because of my inability to stick with a job long. I'm always dissatisfied, and on the move to something else - which makes maintaining rent and so on tough.
By my age, I should be much more financially independent than I am.
Otherwise, I'm perfectly self-supporting. I can take care of myself and run my own life well enough to survive, but where I come apart is always work and finances.
Are you independent? Are you really not independent in some areas of life? What aspects of your life give you this independence?



Bethie
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03 May 2011, 5:03 am

I'm totally dependent on my parents for everything.


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alexi
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03 May 2011, 5:25 am

I feel like I am always precariously close to not being able to work, and hence not being able to maintain financial independence. I feel like working is an enormous struggle for me, but I don't think you could get by in this country on disability.



ToughDiamond
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03 May 2011, 5:32 am

I'm materially as independent as it gets. I've always had a steady job in the public sector (science education and research)......it's always been something of a knife-edge because for 2 pins I'd leave....I don't cope well with being expected to do stuff according to somebody else's prescription, or having to work with people who get up my nose, and I always feel I'm letting myself (and society) down if I'm doing something of no real social worth just for the money. All in all, it's been an expensive trade-off for me - I get more than enough money to survive, in return for giving away half of my waking life to somebody else. I'm sure I'll retire early (probably at 60, almost certainly before 62, and definitely no later than 65), but I won't take the plunge until I'm pretty sure that I have enough savings to keep me afloat until my pension kicks in.

I don't get many issues with independent living - the interior of my house looks a bit odd, but it's not filthy and I've proved myself quite capable of keeping myself in good health and reasonably well-dressed - I might look a little bohemian or eccentric, but that's not a bad thing. I'm a good timekeeper. I should probably do something to ensure the structure of the house doesn't deteriorate - been procrastinating over that for years because I don't trust the advice of builders - but I'll probably sort something out before the place falls down, and anyhow, it's insured against collapsing. The bills get paid - sometimes rather late, but nothing really worrying, and the money's always there because I live pretty frugally and wouldn't dream of spending more than half my income.

So yes I'm doing fine, though I'll still count my life as being a largely wasted one if I don't get out of this day job, and if I don't start doing better at alleviating my loneliness. And things might get a lot worse if my health doesn't remain good - I've no idea how people with serious health issues get along in life. While you're healthy, it doesn't matter that you can't get your GP or social security people to help you.



pensieve
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03 May 2011, 5:39 am

Not the slightest. Well I can dress myself. I can make myself meals except for dinner. Bit strange that but because I have a routine and I get caught up in watching my shows I forget to make myself food and if I don't make it on time I can have meltdowns over it.

So I'm on disability, have very poor social skills, severe sensory issues (adds to the poorness of the social skills) and lack enough skills for a job. I'm trying to become a writer though. It's takes a lot. Sometimes I need medication to function.


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John_Browning
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03 May 2011, 5:47 am

I'm mostly independent. I still live with my parents, but economics are the biggest factor there. Why rent an apartment in the ghetto with a PITA roommate and risk getting my car and stuff stolen when I can rent from my parents for half the price and have access to a whole house in a tolerably decent area?


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Jellybean
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03 May 2011, 6:29 am

I live in a care home with staff at the moment, but I am getting prepared to move into my own house because they think I am nearly ready. With me, it's not that I can't do stuff rather than that I forget to do things. I'll still have 'floating support' (this sounds quite funny doesn't it!) to pop in every now and then to check that I'm not swimming through stacks of laundry to get to bed or that I have managed to have a bath that week!


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Catster29
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03 May 2011, 6:45 am

I am independent live independently and own and drive a car (automatic not manual), work and pay bills , rents etc but I do rely on some family members for emotional support more than your average.



y-pod
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03 May 2011, 7:08 am

I haven't worked for 10 years (stay at home mom) so I'm not too sure if I would be or not. I did live by myself for a few years, and paid bills on time and managed everything by myself OK. Though life as a single person was very simple then.

My guess is I would be able to support myself financially, but will have great trouble supporting a family. And I'll need some extra help with some stuff. I don't drive, that's my biggest problem. I'll have to move to an apartment close to everything. And I'll have to get help with rides to anywhere far or buses don't go to. I'm easily lost and often couldn't find our car in the parking lot when we go somewhere. I need a bit of help with maintaining my home. It's not totally filthy but is usually dirty and messy. I think I can only maintain up to 800 sqft or so.

Overall I think I'll be able to take care of myself and be independent enough with just a little extra help. Except that's not applicable now as I'm married with two autistic kids. I'm certain I won't be able to take care of the kids, the house and bring in enough money by myself. I'm very grateful that my DH is very helpful. He takes more than his fair share of responsibilities to maintain the household.


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Last edited by y-pod on 08 May 2011, 6:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

OJani
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03 May 2011, 9:33 am

I live my life mostly independently, but I still need more support from my parents and my closest friend, mostly emotionally, but with concrete advices too, than people of my age. Not to mention financial support. My biggest fear in my life now is that my twin sister is more fallible than me (she's bipolar and dx), and my parents expect me to help her in her life when they leave. :cry:

Anyway, I have an own apartment, a car with 6 gear manual transmission (VW Golf VI TSI), to make me feel better...


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jamieboy
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03 May 2011, 9:53 am

I do what i want, when i want but i still live with my parents.


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nikoa
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03 May 2011, 10:17 am

No, I'm not, i haven't job, my husband works, sometimes my parents give us money. Not only that, i always ask my husband what should i do in near every situation,when we must connect with people, because when i make my decision near always is wrong



yellow-eyeballs
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03 May 2011, 10:26 am

Not yet. I'm 20, in college and living at home still. I have never had a paying job, but I have volunteered in the hospital where my dad works and am applying for a summer groundskeeping/janitorial job at the moment. I got my driver's license at 18 and drive an 11-year-old 5-speed economy car that is in the process of being fixed. My social awkwardness/anxiety and my lack of transportation and income keeps me mostly confined to home and school, which is depressing. The only place I really have a "life" is on the internet. :roll: My ideal living situation in my twenties would be living with a few like-minded (not necessarily Aspie) friends/roommates in a shared apartment/small house with a job that I'm comfortable doing and pays a living wage (and possibly continuing to go to college) ... and maybe a steady boyfriend. :wink: Not much else... that's it.



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03 May 2011, 10:42 am

I WAS independent a few years ago before the recession. Although I did live with my ex, I paid most of the bills, had a steady good paying job, etc. Its a long story, but I ended up having to declare bankruptcy due to said ex, so now I'm back with my parents ( I was left with ALL of the bills, rent, etc at one point and was having to pay more then I made, which led to increased dependence on credit cards. Paying one credit card bill with another card is NOT a good idea). Which isn't all that bad, except at this point in my life I feel like I should have a family and a big house. My dad was 24 when he bought his first house, was married, and had a kid on the way (my brother). So in a way I feel like I'm supposed to live up to that, and so far I've been a complete failure.


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Henbane
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03 May 2011, 10:45 am

I've been more independent than I am now. I worked part time on and off for a few years, then full time for a few. Now I have been unemployed for several years after I could no longer take the pressure of my life and completely retreated.

I live alone, but on benefits, and I find it very hard to manage my finances and my personal life. I don't look after laundry, housework or meals very well. I live on sandwiches most of the time.

I would prefer to live with someone, like a parent, if there was someone who I could cope with living with, who could cope with living with me.



GuitarMan270
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03 May 2011, 10:52 am

I would say I'm 100% independent. 25, Married, been working steadily since I was 16. Currently working as an IT Admin (the one and only IT guy in the company--not a good fit for someone who doesn't like being around people, but it's what I have to do to make ends meet) and SharePoint Developer (contract work on the side).

My wife does handle a lot of things like our finances (I freak out when I'm late on something) or making phone calls and scheduling appointments (I hate talking to people I don't know on the phone). She also does most of the talking and socializing when we're with people (she's a very social person--a blessing since she does enough talking and relating for both of us). So I "depend" on her for a lot of things, I guess, but could probably survive on my own if necessary (I did for a while in college--easy as long as I got to go back to my apartment and be alone after the day was done).