How many actual friends can you say you've ever had / have?

Post Reply New Topic

How many actual friends can you say you've ever had / have? since the early days at school?
Just wandering how bad I am then and now at making friends and I never saw them outside school except when I lived with them at University. No need to do a table like me

years: No. Of friends: When:
1992 - 1999 2 School
1999 - 2005 0. School
2005 - 2007 2. (10 acquaintances)  School
2007 - present* 11 (plus about 25 acquaintances). University/End of university/Present*


My 1 best friend is back home now 3963 miles away in Chicago, IL. At the moment everyones gone home so I now see no one. Crap.

Zero. I've had acquaintances but really no friends. At times in the past, in my childhood and early teen years, I found that I had somehow drifted into a group of friends, but it was usually a situation in which they were the ones who were friends and I was wondering what the hell I was doing there. Back when I actually played video games, gamers in my schools tended to cluster together to play each other's games, and I got in on that, but I'll be damned if I can even tell you one of their names.

Elementary school - 6 (not all at once though)

Junior high - 2

Currently - 0 (I'm not counting the ones I talk to on the Internet, and the one friend I do have in real life may as well be zero since she is always way too busy to hang out with me.)

Elementary school years - 2 that I remember + a gf I remember next to nothing about.
Middle/high school years - I had a gf a few months but other than that 0 real friends. I have siblings that are close age wise and we technically shared friends but looking back it was my brothers that they were friends with. I had someone from those days actually start looking for me over a decade later saying that I was his best friend back then after he found me. Maybe I don't really know what friends are...
College years - 0
Adult years - The years that I do the Christian thing I get a sense of community out of the church and maybe a few friends. The years that I don't, I don't.

Actually thinking about it again I think the friend numbers are bit lower but more like 1 or 2 fairly close ish friends.
And in early years at school they would always get bored of me playing the same game the same way everyday so ended up sitting in a corner at school break time.

Most them are / where about 90% girls! I guess there more tolerable / patient / helpful with me then the male friends making jokes and stuff, as what I've learnt male friends do that to each other even though I really hate it.

Do you ask them if there your friend? I always find myself asking that!

This all got me thinking about my recent diagnosis, yep it's an aspie thing.

Tricky. There's a couple of people I'm on "good friends" terms with (may have screwed up with one though due to misunderstanding last year) but rarely see, that's about it, maybe a half dozen more people I'd be pleased to see again and vice versa; and I'm on reasonable terms with most of the people I work with, but never see them outside work.
There've been times I've thought myself to have been in a circle of friends and it's proved not to be the case; I have a persistent habit of imagining that because I like and respect someone the feeling is mutual. And that other people have sensible perspectives on things.

An average of 2-3 friends at any given time.

From a being a little person I was just never that interested in making or playing with friends and when I did I had no idea how and now I'm just terrible.

on average, during school years:

mutual respect: 5

Got on well, but hardly ever saw outside school: 2

frequently spent time with outside school: 0.6


I remember one "best friend" I was not comfortable with. I went to his house just once. He ended up playing darts and aiming for my leg. Not maliciously, but NTs often have a perverse sense of fun and a limited moral sense in my experience. Maybe aspies do too, but I just have more experience of NTs.

Primary school - some acquaintances, 1 person who I thought was my friend but was not and no real friends.
High School - 7, only 1 of those I spent time with outside of school and still talk to now. If teachers count then 11.
College - again some aquaintances but no-one I would consider a friend.
And now, other than a guy I know from school, none.

Two or three.

That really depends on your definition of 'friend'. I have one person in school what I talk with regularly and like to work with in groups. I don't see her outside of school, but I like her as a person, which is a lot for me. I have two 'friends' who come over to my house, but that's more because there aren't really any rules in my house. They pretty much just hang out with each other and ask me for help with homework.

Actually, my closest friend is probably my sister. She's two years younger than me, but she's really good at making me feel 'normal'. She's technically NT, but weird in her own way.

I've never had more than 3 at a time, and that was back in elementary school. Since then I haven't had more than one at a time, with a large amount of time spent with no friends at all.

In elementary I had no friends. My family moved about every 6 months or so and as a result, I was never around long enough to make friends. My parents friends had a few kids my age, but while I was around them, I never considered them to be my friends.

In jr. high I had one friend. He lived right down the street from me so I think he was my friend more for convenience than shared interest. We had virtually nothing in common.

High school I was still friends with my jr. high friend but we drifted apart as we came to realize we were too different.

College: no friends.

Today: no friends. And I'm ok with that. I really have no desire to make any friends.

Elementary School: averaged 5 - 7.
Middle School: averaged 5 - 7.
High School: averaged 2.
Before first marriage: about 5.
During abusive marriage: 3
After abusive marriage, before next relationship: 5
During next relationship: 3
Singlehood: 5
After marriage to my husband: started 5 - 7 then increased to 10, and it's continuing to increase.

And these are people that I can actually count on, not the acquaintance-bullshit thing where I form attachments to people who don't care about me. I have a separate number for acquaintances. The climbing number that I'm experiencing now is because I'm continuing to build relationships with people and I'm reconnecting with friends that I had eons ago. We're reconnecting like no time had ever been lost. It's good stuff. I get so nervous that they're all going to reject me for one reason or another (religion, politics, whatever) but they're really my true family.

Keep in mind that I'm an extrovert. It's common for aspies and auties to be introverts, but despite my social anxiety, I really need contact with people and for people to be in my life. I get very depressed and drained otherwise.