You ever been pointed toward an interest by someone else?

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I have a 15 year old son who doesn't really get excited or interested in anything other than xbox games and world travel. He's got three months of summer ahead of him, and I'm concerned that he's only going to be playing video games all summer. A bit of this is fine (he definitely needs to relax after his first year of high school), but I would love to see him develop other interests.

The irony of this is that I have an older son who would have been considered on the spectrum years ago. He is now married and in grad school. He never plays video games, and he thinks I'm a loser of a parent for allowing the younger son to play as much as he does. Younger son isn't very good at socializing, so the xbox is his only social outlet currently. Older son is an urban planner -- something that his father helped to steer him towards when we realized older son had a sort of obsessive interest in maps.

My question is this -- have you ever had anybody, a friend or a parent, steer you toward a different interest? I don't want to be pushy with my son, but I would like him to find other interests besides the xbox. I've read too much, and personally know too many young men who ONLY play xbox or world of warcraft, and they are miserable. They can't do anything outside of this interest, and they are unhappy. Knowing that, I also am very aware that an interest can't be FORCED on anyone, or even pushed. They need to come to like the interest themselves. But we've tried multiple things, and nothing has really caught younger son's attention.

Would he ever be interested in playing some part in game design? or a job as a game tester (they play the game to find glitches)? or a game reviewer (a journalism qualification would help there)? It could play strongly to his interest and give him a way to support himself as an adult.

I've asked him about these type of things, but he shows almost no interest in developing games or testing games either.

Game reviewer might be a possibility, as he is interested in reviews and he is pretty good at writing. Thanks for the idea!

Other people have influenced me but involuntarily.

My friend got me into Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.

My sister got me into a whole bunch of things when we were younger.

You know people that play on Second Life all day have made themselves a career by designing clothes for people to wear on the game and get money for it.

I think what people like your son really need to be told is that what they're doing now will not pay bills and that they can't be just doing that forever. I recently had come out of my fantasy world. I was doing something I thought was productive but was kind of a pipe dream. I'm still attempting it but I'm willing to try other things, like finding a job and making money that way. Also, working on my social skills. I still fall into fantasy and just get absorbed into that world, but I can come out of it.

I just think you need to tell him the reality. You will not be their forever to take care of your son and he will one day need to work to pay the bills, feed himself and live in his own home. Maybe have his own family. To do that it is very helpful to have social skills and interests in other areas.

Thanks, Pensieve -- your post was very helpful.

my mom pointed me towards fiber art because I like to stim...alot and fiber art is alot like stiming while making something. Alot of repititon. Also she pushed me towards being an art therapist when I showed alot of interest in art. Mostly she just let me try it for a day or two and research it.

but as Pensieve says, you need to talk with him about the facts of life. I suggest getting the statistics of the job market, showing him your budget for what it costs to pay bills. Have him help you pay bills and talk with him about the budget so it is not this thing that he sees is so far away, but something that he needs to be raised to understand. I disagree with how my parrents raised me when it comes to money. they just did it all for me and then one day, I am supposed to figure it out. You need to make living independantly more real for him. I also suggest that you use his Xbox as his reward for doing the things he needs to do. Like in the working world, work comes before play.

good luck,

Jojo

Not so much people I know personally, but the ideas of other people have been influential.

Oh wait... music. I'd have probably never bothered with music if my teenage friends hadn't been getting guitars and stuff.