Name

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I find that, a lot of the time, when someone uses my name when speaking to me, I feel a mild-to-moderate sense of "violation." (It's put in quotations because that is the best word that I can muster at the moment to describe how I feel; may update if I come up with another word.) I don't really know why it is, but I feel uncomfortable when this occurs. In real life, I detest when any level of attention besides the minimum for social interaction is paid to me by people other than, say, my parents. Sometimes even the bare minimum is too much to handle when it comes to acquaintances or people I don't know well. Same on the interwebs, but not to such a severe degree. I just don't like being the center of attention. At all. I think I dislike my name being used in a conversation because of this fact: I know that all the attention is focused on me for that moment, and it makes me uneasy.
Could be some other stuff too, but that's all I can think of for right now... It's really illogical.
/self

Do any of you have the same problem? When someone mentions your name in conversation, do you feel uneasy? Is it just a sign of extreme introversion?

Hi there

i do get a strange feeling when someone uses my name. Im not sure it something i like very much to be honest. Its nice to be acknowledged as the vast majority of people i meet have no idea what my name is (even if they have definitely met me) or even any clue that they have infact met me at all.

i have a major problem remembering peoples names. I remember what they look like. i remember everything about them and all the conversation and details... but not their name. Perhaps that has a baring on things when i hear my name used to refer to me.

I feel that names are convenient labels used to identify someone... and i guess nicknames are nice in that respect as they idicate an understanding of YOU rather than just memorizing the name.

perhaps the way that your name is often used to direct/instruct is off putting too.

example: Mr X... please make your way to room 101, or... yes X, no X....

its not ME its just my label.

I prefer people to address me as Sir or Mr So and So. Only people my age should use my first name I think.

I also get an uneasy feeling when someone uses my name. I get that feeling of violation and attention that I don't like.

I can relate to the OPs post. It always felt strange when someone used my name when speaking to me. Like the name wasn't really mine somehow. Similarly I rarely used other peoples names when talking to them, always skipping their name; so for example I'd say "Good morning" rather than "Good morning (name)". I also used to struggle remembering people's names.

Over the years I've changed and found that most people like to be referred to by name, they seem to like the recognition and it reinforces social bonds. Similarly I've grown to like being called by my name by people I like and know well (not strangers and especially not telesales people that just annoys me).

I feel this way, but then I have a LOT of issues with my name...

As a child my parents kept arguing about my name so I got called different things, they eventually settled on the name 'Marie-Louise' but it took me some time to then associate that name with myself...I don't think I ever really did actually, I don't know whether it's due to having different names early in life or due to autism making it hard for me to recognise this was my name. I think it may lay more with the autism to be honest with you, I remember in nursery school looking at my name on my draw for ages and just not understanding how this name meant me. Then you have the issues with the name itself, to me it's polite for people to use the full name 'Marie-Louise' but people always shortened it to 'Marie' - I preferred this, but found it very rude for people to assume they could shorten my name, or some would call me 'Maria' or 'Marry'.

So I changed my name - to Jadea - but I still get problems. For a start it is pronounced 'Jay-da' as it's a variation of the name 'Jade' but people pronounce it 'Jad-e-a' - this is fair enough given it's spelling, but I also get 'Jay-dee' too...there are always people who continue to mispronounce my name even when I keep correcting them, this makes social interaction with new people all the more awkward for me. I also hate people asking me where my name comes from - why do people ask this? I don't like people knowing that this was not my original name so hate this question, I am also not happy when people say it's an unusual name or a pretty name...it's not unusual, I think it is pretty but I'm not sure how to react to that comment.

From an early age I asked people not to use my name.
People using my name makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge, I've realised that it's not what my name is that's the problem but it is a dislike of people using my name. This means the name change didn't help me, I still hate people using my name, it stands out in conversation when people use my name, it feels like someone has just dunked my head in a bowel of ice water when they say it, it makes me feel anxious and at risk somehow.

I sometimes feel a slight feeling of...condescention? It's as though they're saying my name in the verbal equivalent of italics or something. I put it down to a personal paranoia of mine that some people are talking down to me in a patronising tone. I joke sometimes that I want to take an I.Q. test and print the result on a T-shirt along with my age so I don't have to infer "no, I'm not an idiot you know." But then, I never like my name. Dunno why. It's one of the zillions of things I feel self-conscious about!

Don't get me wrong, being addressed "hey [name], how are things?" is perfectly fine (it helps me feel sure that they're talking to me specifically), but when my name is said in the middle of a sentence (when it's already obvious they're talking to me) it feels 'unecessary'. I feel as though they're trying to belittle me. It's hard to explain but yeah, I do feel uncomfortable sometimes. I suspect it's the same uneasiness about being the centre of attention that the OP mentioned, because I tend to associate 'centre of attention' to mean 'subject of criticism, ridicule or disapproval'. Not ALL the time - heck, I'm not THAT paranoid! - but certainly 'attention' feels like a negative thing more than 50% of the time, even when it turns out not to be the case afterwards.

I like being called by my name, it reassures me.

I hate overhearing my name though.

I dislike people using my name, I can't seem to figure out why, perhaps it's because I feel violated aswell?

I also quite dislike my name, it's Ciaran, which is a common irish name, I would have prefered Dan or Nick or Mark or Slartybartfast.

I do feel uncomfortable when people say my name, particularly my parents. It does feel like a violation of some sort, although I see what the OP means about not being sure if that is the correct word to use. Several people have mentioned that they really dislike being the center of attention and I am the same way. I absolutely hate when attention is focused on me; it makes me very uncomfortable and I would much rather sit back and not get involved. This is a bit funny to me though, because when I was a kid my parents used to tell me all the time that I was the most selfish, thoughtless person, and that all I wanted was to be the center of attention all of the time. This shows just how little they actually understood me. Maybe that is why I feel angry whenever they say my name out loud.

When someone I have recently met says my name for the first time (Ex: "Hi, (name)!" the next time they see me), it's almost like I get butterflies in my stomach, but not in a good way. It kind of scares me a little, and makes me feel very unsettled. When I was in college, there were many girls with my name, and so I often heard my name shouted out as I was walking across campus. Most of the time, I was not the one being called, but every time I heard my name shouted my heart skipped a beat and my stomach started churning. I feel like most people probably don't have this reaction.

Me too! I always thought it was because there were too many negative assocations with my name. I am legaly going to have my first name changed someday because my given name causes me flashbacks from when I was abused as a child.