Not being good at special interest

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I was just wondering if anyone else spends most of their time obsessing over their interest, but not actually working on it. I think if your interest involves having encyclopedic knowledge on a topic, obsessing would mean reading a lot about the topic and that would definitely be productive. But in most cases our interests are skills that need to be developed with practice and hard work. Am I the only one without the discipline to actually become good at the things I obsess about?

I have been obsessed with psychology since I was about six years old and have read fairly extensively on the subject but I rarely feel I have a sound grasp on it's application( I should have been taking more notes instead of voraciously reading). However, I find that something is triggered in my mind that I recognise and the necessary information surfaces and starts making the needed connections. Other times someone can be asking me questions about things and I have dreadful recall, I am just not really interested in what they are talking about and cannot persuade my brain to be interested. I have always had a fixation with computers and programming, but unless I am keenly interested in a task my ability to motivate myself is very low. In my situation I think it is linked to depression and distraction. Environment is important too, I especially like to sit on a swissball/ gymball instead of a chair and gently bounce up on down on it while I do things. If I am remiss with tidying and my environment is messy I cannot focus very well, but when I get depressed I have problems with that. Maybe we need to find a way to apply our interests outside of what is considered the norm.

Being productive is relative. If all you ever did was discover a scientific unification solution that one thing could possibly be more productive than the result of many peoples' life's work combined.

I can relate to you both. Sometimes I also wonder why my special interests never reach their real potential. I suppose my memory doesn't working the way it should, since my overall intelligence is significantly better than my ability to memorize and recall encyclopedic knowledge. Another reason might be that somehow I feel that reading about my special interests or doing them in itself a good thing, and I miss the opportunity by neglecting a more thorough approach every time I resort to them simply for convenience. If I made more effort to systematize them, it would kill the pleasure I get out of them.

I wonder if ADD/ADHD or executive dysfunction has something to do with it. If we take into account working memory deficit, limited attention span and focusing ability (easy distractions), memory recall delay or deficit, learning disability of certain types (for example verbal), it is not at all unlikely to experience the above, despite the ability to hyperfocus and the intense (obsessive) interest on a given field.

Or not the usual way. Searching for correlation where no one would think there is. Making good use of knowledge interdisciplinary, when you have a peculiar understanding of several disciplines. This not necessary means you have to have thorough knowledge on each.

Precisely that is why it stresses me out too much... just too much!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! But then I feel really guilty, because I'm wasting my talents, and because being extremely good at something would be the perfect way to compensate for my lacking social skills and general awkwardness.

[quote="OJani"]I can relate to you both. Sometimes I also wonder why my special interests never reach their real potential. I suppose my memory doesn't working the way it should, since my overall intelligence is significantly better than my ability to memorize and recall encyclopedic knowledge. Another reason might be that somehow I feel that reading about my special interests or doing them in itself a good thing, and I miss the opportunity by neglecting a more thorough approach every time I resort to them simply for convenience. If I made more effort to systematize them, it would kill the pleasure I get out of them.
quote]

i agree with the bold bit. i just end up sitting in the library for hours reading up on my special interests but if anything sticks id be surprised. not saying everything filters out but a lot does. its like dammit i have no social skills and major obsessions with no memory retention. worst aspie ever. sitting and taking notes would suck the fun out of it. i do that sometimes but i don't force it.

One of my obsessions is horses, but I'm not that great at riding. My balance and skill are ok, but I need to be told exactly what to do. I can't just "work it out" or use "trial and error"

Same when learning to ride a motorbike and driving a manual car.

A special interest is for me something to unwind from my normal work and social things. It does not have to be perfect to do that, it is nice however when I make progress with my interest. I shifted sometimes my interest, when it came to close to my daily things. When I would spend more time on it, I would probably loose part of the pleasure in the subject.

This thread has helped me. I wish to thank the original poster and all contributors.

Interesting approach to a special interest and it makes sense. Maybe if I manage to feel the same way I'll feel better, but I think I try to hard to compensate for my lack of social skills and for my eccentricity. Maybe I want to be perceived as a genius. I mean, I feel like I already have so many things against me, it would be nice to have something to improve the way others perceive me.

@livinglearning:
Maybe just doing your interest and not thinking about glorifying yourself (meant in a positive way), it can come more natural and give more fun.

When people see something in it, just try to get someone to help you. You are still the 'genius' behind the idea, they just do parts of the work you are not comfortable with or learn you skills to tell your ideas. Recognition takes a bit more time, but when it does not happen, it feels less like a failure.

Executive dysfunction is very annoying, not only on the job. My interest is comparing programming languages, but I am not very productive at it, because I keep running around in circles. Sometimes I discover that I have started rewriting some programs, and see that I never finished it because of distractions...

I can relate to many of these posts. One of my life-long interests has been making music. Lacking the ability to become involved with anyone who has musical skill and/or knowledge, I just bought a bunch of equipment and software a few years ago. I was able to learn the software fairly well and can produce some decent music, but it is far from what I want to do due to not having the motivation to sit down and learn more about music theory and practicing my instrument-playing skills.
It's difficult for me to use that or any of my other interests in conversation since I also have a hard time remembering things - even if I am constantly thinking about or researching them. Trying to talk to people who share an interest - even slightly - often makes them look like an expert and makes me feel like a fraud.

I have become better than the average person in awful lot of things in courtesy of them being my special interests, but I have a little problem with the notion that autistic people should spectacularly excel in the area of their special interest. What I mean is, that our special interests can be seen as just being very dear hobbies to us and I've never heard that neurotypical people are expected to become genious like masters in,well, anything really, so why should we? If given unlimited time and resources I have no doubt it wouldn't be possible for me to reach expert level skills in my special interests, but some of us have jobs and relationships to attend to too, just like the neurotypicals.

I've been doing photography for decades. On some subjects, I'm pretty good. But there's room for improvements since I am not all that great at portraiture. Part of it is I have trouble telling people whatI want from them...my social skills really inhibit my craft in this respect. Now shooting landscapes or animals, or doing macro, I have no issues getting what I want from the subject. Then again, I just move & shoot, I don't have to do any talking.