Just moved, new place, meltdowns, and what to do about them

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I just moved to a new place. I'm a student, and now I'm living in student housing. Previously I lived alone, for the past 5 years or so.

I like my new room and I love being close to the school, but dealing with change is pushing me to the breaking point. It's not like I'm in a bad situation, the house is very quiet during the day. I've been woken up at night a few times because of loud housemates, but most of the time I'd barely know anyone else is there.

But just adjusting to the change is making me feel bad. I don't even know how to describe it, just bad.

Prior to the move, I was hanging out with a friend a lot. I enjoyed all the social time and it felt good to be hanging out with someone.

I still feel like I'm lonely and that I'd like to hang out with her, but at the same time I feel anxious and peopled-out and like I just want to shut myself in a dark silent room for a while before I explode. My cat didn't like moving and she constantly meows and it's fraying my nerves. She has to stay shut in my room with me.

I feel like I've lost my social skills and ability to be social. It worries me, because I'm still lonely, I just feel like I can't deal with people.

Am I just adjusting to change? Will I regain my desire to hang out with people? I can't even explain it right, because I still want to hang out with my friend, I just feel less able to deal with it. Is this a case of losing skills when something else is on the table and they will come back once I've adjusted to being in a new place?

I don't even know how to stave off the meltdown that feels imminent. I haven't had a meltdown in years. It's just too much input, too much change.

To me you sound anxious.

Your in Canada. I'd smoke a joint or drink calming teas or something, and let the changes sink in a bit.

Ha ha, I don't smoke marijuana, but apparently my someone in my house does because I smelled it my first night here.

It's only been a couple of days, but I just feel stretched thin and ready to snap.

It is just adjustment issues...you have only been there a few days, of course you are not going to feel like socialising yet, you need to give yourself time to settle down and get used to the change first. You haven't lost your social skills, you are simply taking a break and doing what you need for now. When you are more settled, you will, I am sure, feel like interracting with your friend again.

For now, I suggest just doing things that bring you calm, getting used to your new environment, and getting plenty of sleep and good food.
It takes me time to settle too when I move, and usually I just do something familiar to me from my old place, until I am settled in.

Graelwyn's right, Dots. Such a big change, with a lot of little but important aspects/elements thrown in. Doing something like living in a college dorm would take a great deal of courage on my part to do...and, after having been alone for 5 years like you mentioned, that just adds to the hugeness of the change. Please, be kind and patient with yourself. Recover something familiar, like Graelwyn said. Whether it's a certain getting-up or bedtime ritual, finding a specific spot in a nice park to sit at for a few minutes, watching a favorite movie 1x/week, just be sure to do something that's familiar and just for you. Also, bond again with your dear cat. Your trauma at moving is very similar to the trauma she's experiencing (cats are like Aspies - ha!). Calming her, making sure she has some hidey-spot and/or at least one familiar object (for a past cat of mine, a portable 'kennel' was the 'familiar'), reinforcing past habits (such as directing her to a scratching post if you'd objected to her using the furniture in the past and staying as close to previous feeding times as possible), and helping her acclimate in general will create a cycle of ever-calmer behavior that she'll contribute of her own volition to your new place. Remember to give yourself breaks from her meowing (possibly, howling?). I know from personal experience how vocal (and agitation-inducing) an upset pet can be. Even if you can't go out when it's time for a break from her noise, you could still protect yourself from agitation or meltdown by using earplugs, noise cancelling earphones, or listen to music (maybe your cat would like some music, too. I successfully calmed a past pet with a jazz station).

Take your time, dear Aspie.

I recently moved, and it threw a monkey wrench into the cogs of my brain. It's made me listless, losing interest in everything I'm normally interested in. All I can do is lay in bed and stare at the TV, not even really watching it. I had a meltdown on the moving day, with all the noise and confusion bombarding me, giving me a migraine and causing me to yell at the people around me. Moving days are stressful for everyone, but I would have traded places with anyone. I can't remember how long it took me to get adjusted the last time I moved, but I know it'll happen sooner or later. The routine will be restored and everything will be in its place.

This may sound odd, but it may work for you.

Find something to do that doesn't involve much interaction, that you can attend during off hours when hardly anyone is around. Anything from a walk somewhere new, to a trip to a museum or interesting place, or even a movie when you and 1 or 2 other people at most are the only ones there.

Take it one step at a time, you sound anxious, give yourself the alone time you need to cope, but don't shut yourself up in your room, I'm like that too, and I have to have my wife remind me to get out and do something when I get into a rut like that.

I see you are in Ontario and I'm part of the year in London, and there are lots of things going on this time of year, look around and pick something and indulge for a few hours, at a level you are comfortable with, and then go from there.

Hope that helps, and that things get better for you.