At my wits end, what should i do?

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Basically, in a nutshell, I’ve had AS all of my life, since I was a little kid, and my parents have just admitted that they suspected it from an early age. I’m 20, going on 21 right now. While I’m relieved that there is an explanation for all of the ways in which I’m developmentally stunted, it doesn’t make the issues subside. Even though looking at a “summary” of my life, I seem fine (more than halfway through college, working an internship over the summer, etc), I have deficits in every major area, many of them significant.

My working memory is atrocious. I can’t learn new things, I can keep track of what I’m doing or where I’m going, and just feel numb because I can’t engage with even thoughts because I can’t hold them in my head long enough to do anything with them. My speech is terrible, like my vocabulary doesn’t match what I intend it to. I don’t know how to explain it, but I don’t really know what most words mean, I just know how they get along with other words. I can hardly concentrate, and I don’t know what to do. I’m worried about keeping my internship, being able to form friendships, everything, because its all compromised by these basic functions I lack.

Are there any types of specialist who advise people with my type of issues? I already see a psychologist, but that isn’t helping all too much, at least yet. Thank you for any and all advice guys.

Sounds very stressful. Would taking notes help you with the internship?

Well, personally, I think you're doing fine. You have a disability, sure, but you're getting through college successfully.

The thing with AS is that it's life-long. You know that. You'll probably always have those deficits; that's just the way your brain is built.

Lemme use a physical example. I've got a friend with spina bifida and she'll always need a wheelchair, because that's the way her body is built. She'll never be able to walk and all of the doctors' reports say that. However, throughout her childhood she learned lots of ways to compensate for the fact that she can't walk. She uses a wheelchair, and she does all her own self-care--not in the ways that I do it, but in ways that let her use her arms and her chair. She lives in a dorm room that's modified for people in wheelchairs, with decently wide hallways, tables she can scoot her chair under, and a shower that's modified for sitting down. One day she'll have a career, using the things she's good at--she's a social work major, so she'll probably do that--rather than the things she's not good at. And because she'll specialize in an area that doesn't involve walking, she won't need to walk.

Okay, so we know this. Look at your own weaknesses. You're getting through college successfully despite those, just like my friend's lack of ability to walk isn't stopping her from getting through college. Most likely, you've found ways to compensate, just like my friend does. You might use technology to help, like my friend uses her chair to get around--for example, I use technology to keep myself organized, remind me to do things, and communicate better with others (e-mail allows me to say what I intended rather than the quick, think-on-the-spot verbal communication). Or you've learned skills that let you do what you want to do, using your strengths rather than relying on your weaknesses. Maybe you do things differently from your typical classmates, in ways that work for you. For example, many of my classmates swear by study groups because working in groups helps them to learn. For me, it's the opposite; studying alone is best. So, instead of getting a study group, I study alone, write down questions, and go to the prof's office hours to ask them. Maybe you've modified your environment to let you study better: You may have changed annoying fluorescent bulbs out for incandescent lamps, changed your wardrobe so that you always wear comfortable clothing, or asked for a private testing room so that you can take tests in a distraction-free area.

The trick to living with a disability is not to focus on your weaknesses and try to eliminate them; it's to focus on your strengths, define those, and then use them to work around your weaknesses--to modify your life so that you can do what you want to do, in your own way. Doing things the "normal" way just won't work for you sometimes.

That said: Counselors who help you solve everyday problems are very useful. You might make a list of those everyday problems and talk to your psychologist: Okay, how can I find someone who can help me to do those things? Depending on what they are, which skills you need to learn, you might get a referral to an occupational therapist, speech/language therapist, counselor, or just have your regular psychologist focus on those skills.

When I was in college decades before I knew I had AS, I had similar concentration problems. What I did was got a small tape recorder (the ones like you see TV Md use for dictation) and recorded the lectures in addition to taking notes and I found that helped tremendously.
I could then review it when I was alone and feeling a lot less social anxiety and was able to get more out of it and compare it to the notes I took

Having AS would not usually cause such significant concentration issues, or memory issues, or speech issues. Perhaps you have something co-morbid with AS such as ADD.

I would like to point out that reaching out for help (here or elsewhere) like you did is a major step in and of itself. Be proud of it.

I think one of the reasons that so many of us have routines is that it helps reduce the overall anxiety we feel. In college I used to be in fairly set patterns of eating the same thing every day, taking the same path to class, sitting in the same seat, etc. as that would help remove some of the mental distractions that hurt in other areas (like paying attention to Dr. Boresalot drone about his book).

YES! Ask your therapist about this!
I recently started counseling to get help with AS related family issues (daughter and undiagnosed husband), she initially mentioned that she would use a diagnosis of Anxiety-NOS so that insurance would pay for it. Imagine my surprise to be diagnosed with adult ADD at the age of 44yrs!! She lent me the book "Driven to Distraction" and all I could do was agree completely.
Apparently I have had fairly good coping skills for it all along so was not driven to seek therapy for it in particular but I can see how much it has affected me looking back on my life.
It may be that due to the stress caused by the recent news of possible AS that the ADD symptoms can be a aggravated as they have been for me just due to processing the news of ADD and the way counseling can stir up emotions anyway.
Maybe you don't have AS at all but really ADD?? They are related...
You should bring it up with the counselor. You may have to find one that specializes in AS or ADD for the best help.
I also suggest getting some good books for people with AS or ADD that give ideas for coping skills that you can try. Oh, and look on the internet, of course. In the meantime, try to keep the stress at bay by taking one step at a time - stress will only make it worse.

Most colleges have some type of Office of Disabilities Services or something like that. If you haven't contacted them, you should. They can be a very valuable resource.

I was going to suggest exploring other comorbids as well. There are a few different sensory processing disorders that can cause the type of 'hearing' issues you described. If your thoughts feel like they just slip away like sand through your fingers - I would suggest exploring ADHD too. At least, with ADHD, medication can bring about quick relief and major changes once under some control.

Definitely take a list of your issues and concerns to whomever you see regularly and ask for referrals to specialist who can help you. A psychiatrist should be able to screen you for ADHD. There is occupational therapy and speech/language therapies to address sensory processing disorders.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Make sure that you're eating right. I've noticed a huge difference, especially in my memory, as i changed my eating habits. Take a look at the Mercola site and look up nutritional typing,. I was 230lbs on a low fat diet. Now i'm 167lbs on a high fat diet. look into this to see why.

also take some time to buy a fluoride filter (look up CuZn filters). Dr. Paul Connett of St. Lawrence University (look as his fluoride action network site) says there are studies out showing that it can impede cognitive ability. I'm not so sure about that in myself but i am sure that my knees feel better when i filter it out. (joint problems is a symptom of stage II fluorosis)

There's also this statement by the former vice president of the EPA union saying that it may be a cause of some of the problems you're experiencing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRLz4a7lDVM

anyway, look at your diet.

and as for psychologists, find a good one. a good one is one that will talk to you and help you talk to them. I noticed that at earlier ages i couldn't do much talking, but as i got more experienced with the world and had more experiences that i had more to talk about. after following the above advice i gave you I've discovered that now i can really talk if i want to.

oh, and stay away from vinyl if it's been linked to autism, then perhaps its effects can further exacerbate autism even when your older.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... -and-vinyl

Just for 1 week eliminate all toxic foods and activities (cycling main roads, chlorine pools, junk food, coffee etc) do a cleansing diet with herbs (milk thistle etc)

and gauge whether you feel any better.

Only 7-10 days is needed to tell if a toxic lifestyle should be addressed in your regard

You do the best you can, and you don`t compare yourself to others. Focus on your goals, big and small, and acknowledge when you`ve achieved them.
Everyone goes through life only one day at a time. So that`s what you do.

This. When I compare myself to friends that I now know had aspergers, I always point out that while they, as I do, show telltale signs of the condition like an all consuming interest in fishing or electrical engineering, have to have routines, social awkwardness, on and on, they never had trouble concentrating or finding words as I do.
I even told my psychologist that I could care less about the social deficits or behavior peculiarities, but its not being able to attend to thoughts or events occurring around me that gets to me. Having a hobby that always holds my attention doesn't sound like abad deal to me.

I've actually looked into this, and suspect I have inattentive add. Do you know what types of lifestyle changes or other interventions are most effective at correcting this?

"When I was in college decades before I knew I had AS, I had similar concentration problems. What I did was got a small tape recorder (the ones like you see TV Md use for dictation) and recorded the lectures in addition to taking notes and I found that helped tremendously.
I could then review it when I was alone and feeling a lot less social anxiety and was able to get more out of it and compare it to the notes I took"


It would help me great deal too. But we are not allowed to do it, because the "teachings" are teacher´s "intelectual property". One has to ask, if they allow it, I cannot ask.

Brolife,

There are lots of self help books that are possibilities. I went on Amazon and like the looks of this one...very high number of 5-star reviews. I may get it myself...

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy

While I probably will explore the medication option, at least as an experiment, I am currently trying fish oil supplements as suggested by my therapist. There is some evidence that it may help though further research is needed. Anyway, after reading Michael Pollan's book "In Defense of Food" I have decided that it's a good idea for anyone to take it since the essential Omega-3's are severely out of wack in our "Western" diet. There is evidence that boosting omega-3's, especially those found in fish oil (vs. plant derived), may play a helpful role in many brain related issues like dementia, depression, adhd but also
in your physical health too.

Search the web - lots of info....search ADHD fish oil

I wanted my AS daughter to take it too so I bought this one due to the good reviews and the high EPA to DHA content ( these are specific types of omega-3 fatty acids, higher EPA is recommended for ADHD). I knew I could not get her to take the giant 1 gram fish oil pills. I got the orange flavored liquid form, however it become almost tasteless with refrigeration as my daughter will attest. I give her and myself about 1gram a day (or as shown on the bottle 1100 milligrams for tablets or 1 tsp for the liquid) some people take more but it is not recommended to take more than 3grams. Do not used cod liver oil, too much vitamin A.

I got Carlson's finest Fish Oil from Amazon. Very economical

Some advocate taking vitamin e with the fish oil - but the above brand already has some in it, so there is no need for more.

Sorry, I had this post all set up with easy links to use but apparently I'm not allowed to use them yet because I'm new here....

Szmaine,

thank You for the detailed info, I probably will have to try too, even though I am vegetarian, or mabe BECAUSE I am vegetarian, recently I am feeling very discontrated and cannot remember anything and cannot push myself to study anything except for one subject I like in school. And I´ve never ever had any learning didabilities before (except that I am discalculic), but certainly not any with memory or concentration. So thak You for this post