Friend with AS????

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Silly thoughts from my silly mind... Here's the deal.

I've had my best friend of the past 18 years staying with me this past week. I definitely suspect AS in myself, and have been observing more and more of this guy this week than I have since I started learning more about AS... my boyfriend has pointed out quirks as well. So it got me to thinking: "Hey! Maybe he has it too." Thinking more and more on this subject, I realize that this very well may be the reason we have had the ability to stay so close over the years. Now the problem.... I have adapted pretty well, and I'm finding out this dude annoys the ever living s**t out of me because he's the same guy he was in 7th grade when we met. I still love him, and I'll still be there always, but I'm getting to the point of wanting to shake him and tell him to wake the f*** up. He has never had a steady girlfriend, very few dates, and pisses off his other friends on a regular basis, mainly because he is so caught up in the computer, things like that. He got up this morning right after I got off work at 6am and was still on it when I left at 9pm tonight. Then he sits and whines that he has no girlfriend or friends he can count on, things like that. It is really hard for me to respond because of course with my suspected AS I can be pretty blunt and sometimes hurtful unintentionally. But I'd like to point out that he is not going to find a girl, or a job he likes, or a car to drive, or a stable home when he does nothing but go to work 25 hours a week and then sits at home playing facebook games. I know this may be his way of coping or withdrawing, but I can't see the point of withdrawing if you're so lonely. Go out and meet some damn people. I know this guy can do that, I've seen it before. But once he lures them in he brings them home, sets them in front of the TV, and goes to play wheel of fortune online. Not saying there's anything wrong with wheel of fortune, but I certainly don't find it a good date activity. It has gotten to the point that I keep him at arms length because I'm tired of the whining. So my question is, do I bring it up, or do I just ignore it and let my distance do the talking? I'm pretty sure he's the type to instantly deny any other suggestion than just being unlucky in love. I've tried to say things before, he's made excuses, and it is the same thing month after month, year after year. (PS he loves to eat and my damn cupboards are bare now, just on a footnote AAAAAH!! !! !)

If you are better off than him you can give him advices; possibly specific ones, e.g. "instead of playing online when you have guests, you might talk about this and that"; he probably can't move on without being told this basic stuff; if you are in some way similar you might understand what he needs better than others; then I realize that being diplomatic is a problem but well, better being blunt than avoiding him and letting him wonder why. Also it's better you speak calmly because harsh voices are shutting off to most Aspies.

Usually I'd say to mention he might have AS but in this case he might take it as a further excuse so don't approach the topic for the moment (unless you think he can find a good therapist; but self-help would not help in his situation).

Thank you so veryyy much. I was thinking along those lines myself, it helps to have some confirmation that what I was thinking may be the correct route to take in this. My boyfriend called me earlier to make sure my friend was leaving tomorrow. It seems he has alienated the whole house. My other roommate does a lot of work on the computer, and he said that he feels uncomfortable because if he asks my friend to let him use it, then my friend sits at the table right behind him and waits to jump on it the second he's done. He also took the last Coke. We told him to help himself, but I guess since I've adapted, I expected him to be more considerate than that at some level. All small things, but they added up really quick in a week, and I'm not sure if he's got a touch of AS, or is just that inconsiderate, and I never noticed before. My boyfriend even pointed out, that while I still behave as a 17 year old at times, my friend is more like a 12 year old. As far as our ages, we are exactly one month apart. IDK, I just hope he gets into his new place tomorrow, because I don't know how I'm going to deal with this with everyone wanting him to leave.

Whether he has AS or not, telling him he should go somewhere else while someone is working, or should not finish your drink supplies, can be useful advices and he will need them for his life, not only to live with you. very often we need this kind of "simple" explanation thato nobody bothers giving.