Eye Contact

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What is the definition of abnormal eye contact, i have found if people are directly standing in front of me i will gaze at the floor and look at them when i think i should, or as i avoid eye contact they will shuffle around in front of me. If i go out for a meal i will try and sit to the side of the person i am with which is more comfortable for me. I also look at their ear,top of the head, or hair anything other than their eyes.

Sometimes i think i should make eye contact at the appropiate time and end up staring into the other persons eye, which stops what they are saying for a moment. A lot of the time i am so busy thinking when to look and how, i am not listening to what the other person is saying.

Is this the AS trait they mean by abnormal eye contact,i personally would be happy making no eye contact at all.

I would very much like to hear what you do and how you cope with eye contact.

i look at the eyes to start with and hover between eyes and mouth about 3 seconds on each
i too prefer not to make eye contact.

I think you're supposed to alternate between their eyes and somewhere else, a few seconds each.

From Marc Segar:

I do make some effort to make eye contact with people. But I'm visually distracted; if I see something interesting I stare at it, & my ears tune out. If I want to concentrate on what's being said, I have to either zone out my vision by staring at nothing, or even close my eyes. When I concentrate on eye contact I might forget what I'm saying.
Also, I have wiers eyes. They work independently. My right eye is very nearsighted, so usually it turns out unfocused; but when I read or look up close, the eyes switch, & the left one turns out. It gets worse when I'm tired.
I knew my left eye turned, bcuz I'd see it in the mirror. Then one day in college a friend asked if I knew my eye turned. I said "the left one", she said "no, the right one!"

If I am not thinking about the eye contact I tend to stare at something else away from the person, but this makes people think I am not paying attention to them/zoned out. Guys seem to be more comfortable than women are with me looking at an inanimate object, though. If it's something convenient and obvious that we can both look at (like, something on the table), making it the center of both our attention can work. But some people won't focus on the object and wonder why I am not looking at them.
I used to try to remedy this by staring at their eyes (to show them I am giving them my full attention) but as you mentioned, they will lose their train of thought or become uncomfortable. So if in some awkward situation like this I sometimes use a technique my father mentioned, which is to focus just above their eyes or in the air next to their head, and nod occasionally. From any distance people can't really tell what part of their face you are looking at (or not looking at), and you avoid the staring into the eyes problem.

i "eye gaze" wich means i'll look at a persons face for a split second and then look away fast

One big problem is when I look at people in the eye I get distracted and lose track of the conversation and my mind goes adrfit to say thinking about the length and color of their eyelashes, the shape and color of the eye and in order to pick up on the conversation I have to look away or roll my eyes upward so I am looking above their head. Which I am told is very noticable and strange and looks worse than just looking away.

Paul

From what I've gathered, "normal" eye contact is "soft" - that is, not confronting, and most people tend to stare for a few seconds, look away, stare again, repeat. It's the sort of eye contact which signals neither threat [which happens when people stare for too long] nor fear [when people refuse to look at all]. I might be wrong though

Anyways, I'm not great with eye contact. The more I converse with someone, the less likely I am to look at their direction, to the point where I would be looking to the side. I always remind myself that it is seen as polite to look back at someone to signal that you are paying attention, but my gaze usually hovers at their lips or chin.

I think I give the wrong impression that I'm not paying attention at all, when actually I am - I just find it less distracting and confronting when I'm not directly peering at people.

I find this amusing, though - I have no problems staring directly at my dog. In fact, one of the first things I taught my dog was to look at me when saying his name, to make sure he was paying attention.