Why can't anyone hear me???

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I just came home from an ordeal I don't wish to ever repeat. Where I live there are several drive through restaurants very close by and I decided to get something for dinner. So I get going and in 4 different drive throughs, every one couldn't hear what I was saying! I've always been very soft spoken(if this is due to AS I don't know but it's been this way my entire life) but the thing is that I can hear myself speak perfectly. And when I talk loudly enough for other people, I feel like I'm screaming. It hurts to do it for more than a few minutes. This is 2011, not 1961. I've watched enough reality tv to know that there are very sensitive microphones out there and I refuse to believe that they can't turn the volume up on their headsets to hear me. Has anyone else experienced this?

hi

nice to see a thread about a problem i also have

theres something deeply typical about the nature of my volume issue. Im 6'2" strong, bigger and taller than most of the people i encounter day to day, but ironically, i have always had major problems being heard.

the problem (as ive noticed it) has been for all of my life and seems to be in two areas.

1) people dont hear me approaching them. hilarious that they think im sneaking around. im big enough to stomp about causing a big noise... but i have had to adopt a kind of "technique" where i hum stupid tunes or deliberately make sounds to indicate i am there or approaching (it seems so stupid to me that people just dont hear me)

2) my voice. i find it very very uncomfortable "talking" at a volume that others seem to need in order to hear what i am saying. this has the effect of making me get frustrated and angry that i have to repeat almost everything i say... as if ive whispered it. everyone else barks loudly about all manner of pointless drivel. when listening to others i often find myself screwing my eyes up and cowering slightly as its as if they are "shouting" close to my ears. i guess that is an over-sensitive hearing issue.

i agree that it is a great strain to speak for any length of time using the "normal" volume of others. perhaps society is getting LOUDER as well as faster. regardless... (and despite being nicknamed the Big Friendly Giant at school by some of my teachers... it just makes me angry that no-one is taking the time to actually listen to me.

ive been very reclusive for the last 2-3 years due to my life turning into a disaster (eventually leading to my diagnosis) and i am starting to seriously realise how little i do actually talk. in fact. so little, that when i do talk, id appreciate being heard. and of course... im not. this only adds to my frustration. so again, i tend to choose NOT to deal with it and hope that people will realise that ive chosen to talk to them... and its good manners to listen when i do actually bother.

anyway. (picks up a megaphone). im working on the speaking part. though im not going to try and raise my voice any more. this will probably cause my frustration to continue... but... i dont see what the problem is with everyone not being able to hear me. its as if i am polite and calm and considered... but they need me to shout things at them.

idiots (NTs)

love to "hear" what others have experienced regarding this.

i agree that when i speak... i (from my point of view) speak in a normal (if low in pitch) voice. in fact... ive had several comments from people who hear me, that they really like my voice. perhaps it is calming? ive also had nice comments that the "way" i speak... (my grammer, diction and tone) is very pleasing to them.

if only a greater number of people who bother to pay attention. i take their need for me to repeat myself (or endlessly repeat themselves even though ive heard every word and acknowledged it) so frustrating.

shouts my frustration (probably quietly)
R

Over the years I've developed a loud and obnoxious voice which I use to force people to hear me. It works.

I had this problem for most of my life. The issue is you are not projecting your voice. I wonder if working with an acting coach would help. BTW I was able to be heard after I started taking antidepressants. My theory is they relieved my social anxiety enough to not be so self conscious about being noticed. When I spoke I wanted to be sure only the person I was speaking to could hear me.

I'm Loud and innapropriate. I just have to accept it I guess...

Yes I get this a lot. I also find that if I try and speak at a so called normal level it feels too loud and I usually end up with a headache. I often find people around me sound too loud aswell. I agree with Aimless about the social anxiety aspect but I find this actually happens most at home, and I get really frustrated at having to say everything twice. Sometimes I just don't bother to say anything! I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being over sensitive to sound in general.

Have you tried getting out of the car and ordering at the counter? I would find this easier but that's because I have hearing impairment and wouldn't be able to hear the OTHER guy! Having said that though, come on fast food venues, it's 2011. Can you not afford to buy decent sound equipment!?

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

I've always had this issue. My voice sounds perfectly loud to me. Even when I'm forced to public speak, and force myself to speak VERY loud, the examiner always asks me to speak louder, and I can't do it. I find I have to repeat myself up to four times to convey my message—it's extremely irritating, especially when people get angry at me for it. As for drive throughs, they never ask me to repeat myself, but frequently get my meal wrong. I'm not sure if this an issue with them not hearing me, or just being incompetent.

I'm inconsistent with my tone. Sometime too quiet. Sometimes way loud. And when people point it out, the volume doesn't sound right to me if I try to change it. If I soften my voice, I can barely hear myself and if I get louder, I'm hurting my own ears. It's gotta be an auditory processing something or another...

I find I just mumble a lot of the time when speaking to people like receptionists, waiters, ect. I hate ordering meals in restaurants, especially foreign restaurants, because I can never pronounce the names of the food on the menu, and even if I practised saying it a bit, I still suddenly had trouble saying it when he actually came to take my order. I suddenly go into dumb mode, and I feel worse when everybody at the table looks at me whilst it's my turn to order. My mum says it's unconfidence. So when I do say it, the waiter never hears.

What I don't understand is, when people get on the bus they say their destination really, really quietly, and even when I've sat at the front I still can't hear what they say, but the bus-driver hears them straight away. But when I come on the bus and say my destination, I say it loud and clear, and he still doesn't catch what I say, and asks me to repeat where I'm going.

When I am not heard I think there can be two reasons: (1) my voice is actually too low; or (2) I am perceived as not being worth listening to. If it's the former I can adjust my voice and go on about my business without much annoyance. If it's the latter I feel very angry indeed. And then there are the numerous incidents in which I'm not sure which reason applies, and I'm left feeling frustrated and confused. So even though I'd be more comfortable mumbling in a low voice and avoiding eye contact, I've found that speaking up, looking up and enunciating clearly is worth the effort. It usually works, and it's less painful than wondering if I'm being slighted or teased.