My story of having high functioning autism

Page 1 of 1 [ 1 post ] 

XsamX
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 310

22 Jun 2011, 4:16 pm

Before I post this the spellings correct because I'm using the Dragon program that helps me with my spelling.
They may be some spelling mistakes because the Dragon program sometimes does thishave high functioning autism basically I have trouble with social situations I have never once had a friend off-line I remember when I was just a kid and in preschool I loved going to preschool but one actually came to doing things like when the kids were making snowflakes with the teachers I remember the people telling me come on Sam lets make one with the other kids they were telling me how fun it was thinking I was going to follow them they just walked away I just did there and stared at the table I didn't know how to make a snowflake I didn't even know where to start the other preschoolers were already taking up the scissors and cutting them with me the question was how do i even do that? and there was also the fear of the other children I did want to set up a table but at the same time I did I wanted to make friends and talk to people but I wasn't exactly sure how to tell them what I wanted to eventually the teacher did drag me over to the table once I got the table she told me that she'd help me make one I handed out confused on how to make it and they had to have teach me and help me the whole way when the other children also need help making one because there are young to but what was different from them and me? they could tell them to do something and they would do it immediately knowing how but with me it was different they had to explain over and over but nothing clicked so they had to help me the whole entire way through without me doing anything on my own like the other kids were. and then I remember sitting there as she was cutting it the kids were on the other table and I didn't play with the other kids when they were playingI wanted to go and play a different game I understood how to play just not with the other children or not in the way the other children would have been playing. I don't remember anything after that but I do remember some other days it was playtime and everyone was playing having fun laughing with each other like children normally would do but I was sitting in the middle of the floor I was staring at nothing but at other points I would stare at the other children and I remember thinking to myself how do I play with them what do I do? then my attention would go to other things in the room and I just think about stuff that do not relate to them the teachers eventually walked me over to one of the other girls playing with the dollhouse they told me to go ahead and play with her she's nice they introduced us set a few things then walked off the other girl was excited I just remember her talking to me not sure what she said but I was just stareing at her first off I had no clue what to say and second off no one told me how to play the game she was playing so I just stared at her actually I don't even think the game was on my mind I don't exactly reamber this well at all because it's extremely blurry but I was staring at her for a reason I know that maybe I was trying to figure out the game she was playing im not sure.
I was young back then but I had a great mind you think id be older because of this mind but I wasn't. I just thought deep for a kid. Nowadays I still have problems with people I still don't know how to talk to teenagers my age I hear about them going out to parties or getting excited over simple things I don't know what to say to them but how when I will do now with them when I will do be able to talk to them like a normal person would I just don't know a good conversation and I don't know how to start a conversation without it dying or without the person thinking that I'm totally strange because I'm actually only interested in one simple subject a subject that most people would hate or not believe or even if they did it doesn't matter I also like history but it when you think about it what teenager wants to talk about history you always hear them talk about some kind of fancy thing if I talked about history around them I think they get bored or at least the subject would die I have realized when I tried to talk to people they look at me like I did something wrong or said something that I shouldn't have a not exactly sure why they stop and stare but my guess is from looking up information about other teenagers with autism that they probably think I said something strange or did something different. Or maybe I'm just weird to them I'm not sure that I don't think I'll ever be sure I can take my guess. I have them and movements people talk about flapping I don't do what I do is rocking and finger movements sometimes tensing up. I do these movements because of differing emotions I feel.. I also have awesome interests that I go crazy over for one the paranormal and another would be an naruto I used to never be able to miss an episode of naruto without freaking out to the point where I'd have a meltdown but I don't worry about that anymore because I got some other interests and I also found it online so I can watch it whenever I need.
I also love science and dinosaurs i find dinosaurs interesting because they're so old and they're so different than animals we have around now than there is so much information about them that we know also probably so much we don't probably even have have not found them all or discovered everything that there should be to know about them the habitats they would've been living in and the different environment and their defenses that protected them from other dinosaurs their weaknesses all that is very fascinating to me so much that I can't stop thinking about it on days when I was little I used to play with a bucket full of toy dinosaurs I had so many you can count them all but I know that they went to the end of the driveway I used to line the up I play with them to but lining them up was fun I would also group them together whether it was by color or type of dinosaur. I recently realized I'm extremely interesting dates and I have a really good memoryI can tell you someone's birthday that they may have told me only ones that could have been from years ago and I'll still remember it very clearly I'm not exactly sure why I have that talent I just do. But my biggest interest is definitely the paranormal love it so much you see it all over my page and I could talk about it for hours is the only subject I really like to talk about the future of any questions asked me I would love it and I would be entertained all day you could give me a list of questions and I would be happy to answer every single one of them litterly because they have a disability I also believe I have my own power im a medium and I know I'm not crazy.
You'd have to be me to understand that its real and youd have to be me to have the experiences I had and that's how I know.
I want to talk about it even more but apparently people here do not like to read very long things and I will stop here so they don't have to keep reading.
But I am going to say a few more things first now I can explain everything to you because it's late and I can't think of everything but you're welcome to ask me more about my autism or my interests I don't mind. thanks for reading and I really appreciate it if you got to the whole thing and commented.
If you comment on it all feel like I did not make this for nothing I'd be very happy that you had something to say to it :)
all and I also believe in wicca family is Christian and I love talking about my beliefs I believe everything goes together the beliefs I have goes together with my interests because everything connects into one big thing everything connects because everything is about the world and how it works. Sorry if I was a little bit confusing what I mean by this is that I believe in Wicca and my family believes in Christianity they do not believe in wicca and I do. I also love how everything goes together in the world. There that should explain a little bit better for that sentence anyways :)