Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Friend or no friend

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

johnsmcjohn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,279
Location: Las Vegas

26 Jun 2011, 9:26 pm

I know a reasonably high profile entrepreneur from California and I'm curious if he would pass the friend test or not. He takes my calls, but makes no attempt to call me. And while he gets the obligatory "happy <insert holiday here>" text, I've never received one back. He's happy to spend time if I track him down, but seems disinterested in making any attempt to contact me when he's in town. So is this guy a friend? Acquaintance? My instinct says no but I'd like a second opinion. Thanks for any help you can give me.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 181 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Myers-Briggs: INTJ
AQ: 44


littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

26 Jun 2011, 9:46 pm

I would say no as well since all the effort seems to be on your part alone. I'd call him an acquaintance maybe, but definitely not a friend.



Ilka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,365
Location: Panama City, Republic of Panama

26 Jun 2011, 9:57 pm

My test is the following: if I do all the efford and the other person always receives, I get lost for a while. I just stop calling, stop trying to get in touch. If the other person does not make any efford to contact you, forget about her/him and get on w/you life. Friendship is a 2 way channel. You cannot always give. If the other person does not give back, that person is not you friend.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

26 Jun 2011, 10:17 pm

johnsmcjohn wrote:
I know a reasonably high profile entrepreneur from California and I'm curious if he would pass the friend test or not. He takes my calls, but makes no attempt to call me. And while he gets the obligatory "happy <insert holiday here>" text, I've never received one back. He's happy to spend time if I track him down, but seems disinterested in making any attempt to contact me when he's in town. So is this guy a friend? Acquaintance? My instinct says no but I'd like a second opinion. Thanks for any help you can give me.


I think he is an acquaintance. Since he is "high profile" it would be reasonable to assume he is time poor and so he would have an order of priority toward people who he would contact or spend time with. It does not have to be anything personal on his part.



Philologos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2010
Age: 83
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,987

26 Jun 2011, 10:57 pm

How is he when you are on the phone or in person?

"High profile entrepreneur" makes him sound likde one of the Power People - who would normally be expected to be wooing you unless you were obviously a otal loser.

BUT my brother-in-law could be described as "high-profile entrepreneur", and he is one of the Great Stone Face Thinker/Tinkers - he rarely corresponds even with close family, because, as he will tell you, he can't think what to say. As a non-small-talk person myself, I can understand that.



johnsmcjohn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,279
Location: Las Vegas

26 Jun 2011, 11:43 pm

Philologos wrote:
How is he when you are on the phone or in person?

"High profile entrepreneur" makes him sound likde one of the Power People - who would normally be expected to be wooing you unless you were obviously a otal loser.


When we do speak on the phone he's friendly, but a bit rushed. When I see him here he's great but again, I always have to track him down. I'm not sure if he's just very busy(I'd imagine running a 100 person startup he's quite busy) or if he just doesn't care enough to make the effort.